Jacob Goes to Jared, The Galleria of Jewelry | TeenInk

Jacob Goes to Jared, The Galleria of Jewelry

October 19, 2010
By WinterFairy PLATINUM, Chicago, Illinois
WinterFairy PLATINUM, Chicago, Illinois
45 articles 15 photos 111 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't dream it. Be it."
"Singing is praying twice, and dancing is singing with the body."
"Paper is more patient than man."
"Where you live shouldn't determine whether you live"


PART 1
setting: La Push street
Characters: Jacob Black; Jared; Embry Call

Jacob, Jared, and Embry are walking down the street.
Jared: Guys, I'm going to ask Kim to marry me.
Embry: Jared, that's great!
Jared: I hope she doesn't say no. Look, here's the ring.
Jared takes out an engagement ring.
Jacob: Cool ring. Kim's going to love it. How much was it?
Jared: Not much. Only all of my college fund, a little more credit card debt, my parents' retirement fund, and a few fake student loans.

PART 2
setting: the cullen's living room
characters: jacob black; renesmee cullen; bella cullen; edward cullen; esme cullen; kim

Jacob and Nessie are sitting on the couch
Jacob: Nessie, I have something to ask you.
Nessie: Okay. What's up, hon?
Jacob gets on the floor on one knee and takes out a ring.
Jacob: Will you marry me?
Nessie gasps.
Nessie: He went to Jared!
Esme: He went to Jared?
Bella: Aw, he went to Jared. (glares at Edward) Why didn't you go to Jared?
Edward: The same reason I didn't get you an island.
Bella: You still haven't given me a reason for that.
Edward: Crap.
Kim walks in.
Kim: Jacob Black! That's my engagement ring! How dare you steal my ring!
Kim walks over to Jacob and takes the ring. Kim walks out.
Nessie glares at Jacob.
Jacob: Well, I went to Jared for it!

THE END!!!


The author's comments:
Okay, you need some prior knowledge of all things TWILIGHT to really get this. (WARNING! SPOILERS FOR THE FEW OF YOU NEW TWILIGHTERS!) In ECLIPSE the book (not the movie) Jared imprints on a girl in his class, Kim. Edward and Bella have a baby (Renesmee, aka Nessie) and Jacob imprints on her. Now for the island bit. On YouTube there are the TWILIGHT BRATZ. In BREAKING DAWN Edward and Bella go to Isle Esme for their honeymoon. Here's the bit on YouTube about that:

E: Welcome to Isle Esme.
B: Isle ESME? Why didn't you get ME an island?
E: Cra-a-ap.

So there's that. LOLs? Anyone? Anyone at all?

Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 9 comments.


on Jun. 6 2011 at 1:49 pm
WinterFairy PLATINUM, Chicago, Illinois
45 articles 15 photos 111 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't dream it. Be it."
"Singing is praying twice, and dancing is singing with the body."
"Paper is more patient than man."
"Where you live shouldn't determine whether you live"

Thank you! :)

on Jun. 6 2011 at 11:43 am
just-another-url GOLD, Cannes, Other
16 articles 6 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's a good thing to be strange. Normalness leads to sadness." -Philip Lester

can't stop laughing, sooo funny, hysterical, hilarious !!!!!!!!!!! 

on Dec. 11 2010 at 6:04 pm
HeartbrokenAngel BRONZE, Cottonwood, California
2 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do you know how much I wish I could go back in time and change so many things? The first one is you."

I thought so. But there were a few people that thought it was mean. Some chick set them straight though. Their arguement is funny to read.

on Dec. 11 2010 at 5:13 pm
WinterFairy PLATINUM, Chicago, Illinois
45 articles 15 photos 111 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't dream it. Be it."
"Singing is praying twice, and dancing is singing with the body."
"Paper is more patient than man."
"Where you live shouldn't determine whether you live"

Thank you. "TWILIGHT...TWO MINUTES" is hysterical too :)

on Dec. 10 2010 at 4:20 pm
HeartbrokenAngel BRONZE, Cottonwood, California
2 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do you know how much I wish I could go back in time and change so many things? The first one is you."

I'm practically rolling on the floor right now. funniest thing I've read in awhile. Just about as funny as "The Twilight Saga in about Two Minutes."

on Nov. 1 2010 at 11:23 pm
Robsessed PLATINUM, McKinney, Texas
23 articles 1 photo 202 comments
That's hilarious! ROFL... "Well, I went to Jared for it". Never would have made that connection, very creative. LOVE TWILIGHT!

on Oct. 29 2010 at 3:18 pm
NonsensicalMuse PLATINUM, San Anotnio, Texas
22 articles 0 photos 87 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There is nothing wrong with having your head in the clouds as long as you don't get altitude sickness"

"Perhaps you are right,perhaps not. I don't know 110% either way.All I know is that Im in search of truth. If you are too, let us be friends."

lol lol :)

on Oct. 23 2010 at 7:42 pm
WinterFairy PLATINUM, Chicago, Illinois
45 articles 15 photos 111 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't dream it. Be it."
"Singing is praying twice, and dancing is singing with the body."
"Paper is more patient than man."
"Where you live shouldn't determine whether you live"

Thanks! I'm glad u like it!

Ally said...
on Oct. 23 2010 at 7:27 am
haha very nice. i liked it a lot!