The First is Never The Last: Prologe | Teen Ink

The First is Never The Last: Prologe

April 16, 2012
By Vampriss GOLD, Chanute, Kansas
Vampriss GOLD, Chanute, Kansas
13 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Z's make everything better~Me
" If you are what you eat, then I don't remember eating a sexy beast this morning" RJ
"You wouldn't go into war without your best ammo... So why would you get on stage without a Schecter?" ~Zacky V.

He has been keeping it a secret for years, a terrifying secret.
She ran. All the way down the hall. Fast. She had to get away. Almost to the door. But the hallway seems to stretch. She tried to make it but she couldn’t. A hand shot out. Grab her leg. She tripped. Get up her mind screamed. She got up. She kept running as fast as she could. Not good enough. Hand close in around her. How did she escape?
She fell to the ground in freight. He loomed over her with a scary impression. He held up the knife and covered her mouth. Then the knife came down.

~Chapter 1 It all Began~
Yvon and Mikey have been friends forever, but Yvon never told Mikey on secret that could have endangered every girl that even looks at Yvon.
~Yvon’s PROV~
“Hey, Yvon, what is up my friends?” Mikey said throwing himself on my brand new couch.
“Nothing. Just watching TV.” I said.
“You want to hang at Nightness?” Mikey said sitting up.
“Yea, maybe, we will see Elena.” I said.
“Yes maybe we will.” Mikey said getting up, twirling the keys around his finger. “We will take my car.”
“Okay then.” I said throwing myself off the couch. “Are we leaving now?”
“Yea, Let us go.” Mikey said.
We ran out the door and hoped in his car. We drove down the street until we got to Nightness. We looked right at the bouncer and he looked back at us and let us in.
“Yvon is in the house.” I said shouting.
Elena can up and hugged Yvon.
“Yes, yes you are.” Elena said. “Looking good as always Yvon.”
She turned towards Mikey.
“You are looking good to Mikey. Why don’t we go to our usual spot and have a drink.” Elena suggested.
“I am cool with that.” I said grabbing Elena by the waist and dragging her to our spot on the VIP couch.
“So, what have you been up to Yvon?” Elena said after I let her go.
“The same old same old, boring house with a boring TV.” I said. I looked at her and smiled. “But that’s okay because we were at Nightness and nothing could ruin this night.”
“I will second that.” Mikey said lifting up his cup. “To the ones who rule the night.”

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This article has 1 comment.

on Apr. 20 2012 at 4:12 pm
WSwilliams GOLD, Toronto, Ontario, Other
12 articles 3 photos 95 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you keep writing, you will pick up structure. You will pick up form

- Richard Matheson

I enjoyed this story very much. However, I am a bit ticked off for the use of the word, "flashback", at the beginning. I think you should get rid of that because it might confuse the reader and find another way of introducing the flashback. (But its your choice). I also think you could've joined some sentences together, to say more things using less. All in all, it is a really good story. Just try saying more with fewer words and keep it short.