Eyes shut tightly, but tears leaking down his cheeks, Xavier gasped, trying to regain his composure. What if he doesn't love me anymore? A dull ache permeated from his chest outward at the thought of losing everyone he cared about.

No, he thought, I have to do this. It was like his throat was filled with  glass shards that had been ripping at him for sixteen years. He needed to spit them out, even if it meant hurting those who he loved. Expression plaintive, tears still creating miniscule rivers down his cheeks, Xavier rose from his bed, clenching his fists in determination. He pushed away the creeping, predatory thoughts that hid in the shadows until he was alone, and began the prelude to his terrifying moment.

Wiping away his tears, he grabbed his keys from their hook on the door and turned around, taking what could be a last look at his bedroom. Walls plastered with band posters and soccer players, clothes draped over every surface, this felt like home.

With the  image still lingering in his mind, Xavier made his way down the stairs to his parent's bedroom. Knocking on the sturdy wooden door, he told himself, This is the day I do this. No more backing out. It's happening NOW. Hearing his father's gruff voice from inside muttering, "Come in." Xavier steeled himself for what was to come and opened the door. His father was combing his thick brown hair, tie hung untied around his neck, dressed for work. "What is it, Xavier? I have to leave in a few minutes, champ." Behind the brusque, peremptory exterior, Xavier could see his dad's warm heart. He opened his mouth, but the words caught in his throat, fighting their way upwards. "Dad, why don't you sit down?" His father grunted and plopped himself into his armchair, making himself comfortable as Xavier carefully lowered himself onto the bed, as if the chair was made of glass. "Dad… I've been seeing someone…" His father's expression softened, and he grinned. "Yeah, that Lizzy girl… she's a good kid."

Xavier felt his ears reddening, but he persevered.  "No, dad… actually…" His eyes filled with tears, but he fought them back, refusing to show weakness in front of his dad. "I'm dating her brother, Eli." The words leaving his mouth felt like chains being severed, granting him a type of freedom he had never had, like he was soaring miles above earth. Then he looked at his dad and came crashing down. His face was tightened, eyes bubbling with rage, jaw working underneath leathery skin. "You aren't gay. You can't be. You dated Sydney!" His voice was grating, nothing like the comforting rumble Xavier was used to… "Dad… I'm not gay." His father's faced morphed to relief, then confusion.  "I'm pansexual."

He turned away from Xavier, steepling his fingers and touching them to his lips like he did when his students lied to him.

After a moment of Xavier clenching his fists so hard his nails left marks, his father turned around, lips tightened into an impartial expression. "I gave you a chance. No insolent teenager going through a phase will live in this house. GET. OUT." He lashed one finger towards the door, the others jammed into his pocket as if he feared he was going to hit his son.

Xavier felt himself break. The delicate strands keeping him connected to the only family he had left were severed. Running out of the room, then the house, he felt hot tears begin to roll down his cheeks, blurring his vision until he crashed to the curb, shaking and wheezing. Looking up, he saw that he had taken himself to Eli's house. Standing on shaky legs, attempting to leave his grief in a puddle on the curb, he walked to the front door and knocked, the noise so similar to the one only minutes before, but the premise so different. After what seemed like hours, Eli opened the door, brow creased in confusion and concern. "Xavier, I'm gonna see you at schoo-" He halted in his sentence, looking over Xavier, then enveloped him in an embrace tighter then he thought possible. Xavier shook, his sobs muffled by Eli's sweatshirt. "It's going to be okay…" Eli murmured, stroking Xavier's hair. "You can stay here." Eli's arms felt like home.