She didn’t know if she was mean enough to do it. Alice’s plan for payback was simple yet too dastardly for her to feel okay about it even in the moment. Still, she opened her little brother’s room making her way to their shared bathroom stealing his can of antiperspirant. She held the nicely scented can in her hand and continued to think about her plan long and hard. The question, “was it too far?” rang through her head like a church bell. All Jake did was squirt her with a little fart spray. Of course, there was the time he stole her makeup and she remembered when he broke her piggy bank and took her money. After careful consideration she decided he deserved what was coming to him. She wanted to teach him the hard way to stop pestering her. She broke the can of deodorant open letting the fumes fill his room, just a little of the deodorant smell was potent, but the aroma from the entire can became pungent. She coughed a little and escaped back to their shared bathroom where she used the fart spray to fill the empty deodorant container. A whiff of the aerosol caught her nose, and her face became one of dismay, but also excitement. She knew she was going to ruin his day when he reached home. After leaving the bathroom through the door connected to her room she went to sit on the couch. Her heart raced from expectancy and the anticipation of her brother’s homecoming.

Approximately thirty minutes later, trying to hid her mischievous grin, she heard the front door swing wide open and looked up to see Jake step inside. Jake thought it odd to find Alice on the couch since she typically preferred to stay in her room or the attic. He smirked as he approached, “Why are you down here? Couldn’t wait to see me come home or somethin?”, Jake replied in his typical informal tone. Alice rolled her eyes.

“Something like that”, she snarkily responded. Of course, it could have something to do with what I found in your room earlier!” Jake liked to hide things. He had numerous secrets and hated when anyone tried to find them out. “What? Jake muttered nervously. His entire demeanor changed from one of confidence to one of concern. He ascended the stairs to his room wondering what she could have found. Was it the pictures he promised his friends he would never share? The cassettes of vulgar songs he listened to on occasion, or maybe; just maybe, she was toying with him. He continued to climb the stairs praying she was teasing. As he entered his bedroom, a wave of what could only be described as ‘overstimulation of the nostrils’ poured out the door and attacked him. Coughing he said, “I. AM. GONNA. KILL. YOU. ALICE!”. Alice felt his words could have shaken the house had he not been hindered by the smell. She began to giggle as he stomped down the stairs. Once Jake appeared in the living room, he stood behind her and said, “it is so over for you”. Then in a quiet malevolent voice he said, “I’m gonna tell mom what you did.”

Alice retaliated by spinning on her heals and replied while still chuckling, “No you will not! If you tell her what I did I will tell her about the music, you listen to.” Deep down she knew she would get in worse trouble for what she did, so she banked on his idiocy to bluff and deter him from snitching.

Jake looked flustered. “Fine, I won’t tell. But I am not gonna forget this”, he sneered. He returned to his room hacking as he opened the window and flipped on the fan attempting to fumigate the space. A light smell of the antiperspirant lingered but could be tolerated compared to the initial odor. He made the decision to sleep in the guest room while Alice pranced upstairs to her own room feeling victorious.

The next morning in the bathroom while brushing their teeth and preparing for school, Jake picked up the can of deodorant. He trusted there was a little left in the can as he aimed toward his arm pit. As he sprayed, he sniffed. The fart spray enveloped the room and Alice immediately started laughing. Jake responded with hate filled eyes. Unbeknownst to Alice, she had initiated the Great Johnson Family Prank War.

That afternoon, Alice thought about what she did to Jake. Guilt washed over her like a tsunami. She realized she had to apologize to her brother. They had expressed regret to each other often and it was a bit of a tradition to create an apology card. Alice scrambled up the stairs to her mom’s art room. As she approached the room, she noticed the door was cracked open. Usually, the Johnsons kept the entrances of unused rooms closed so she assumed someone was inside as she crossed the threshold. She could not have been more wrong. A bucket filled with expired school chili hit her on the head and coated her body. A trace of it oozed into her mouth. The rancid smell, feel, and sight of the debacle caused her to vomit. Fresh school chili was not appealing and expired had to be radioactive. Alice retched a second time adding to the chaos. Trying to maintain her balance she pivoted and dashed to the bathroom to cleanse herself. She entered the bathroom no longer thinking about apologizing but plotting. “If that is how we are playing, game on,” she muttered in a raspy breath. He had ambushed her the way Canada attacked enemies durring World War one and this blow declared war.

After scouring from head to toe, Alice returned to the battlefield to clean the debris. As she cleaned, she fought to preserve the remains of her stomach. Jake had exceeded the limits. This sort of violation was disgusting. How did he even manage to obtain an entire bucket of expired school chili? The foul smell of the chili and puke lingered. She knew it was the beginning of the end and she had to strike back quickly. The prank score was two to one, his favor. She grabbed a pencil and paper from the craft table ignoring the apology card and used the paper to brainstorm ideas for revenge. Suddenly an idea struck her. Her face manifested a devilish grin, the idea was perfect. Two days later her concept manifested, the trap was complete all she had to do was wait for the perfect time.

Waiting was difficult, but necessary. She carefully placed the apology card on Jake’s bed. She knew he would freak out as soon as he realized what she had done. She painstakingly camouflaged a small camera in his room focused on the bed and chest of drawers. The camera was somewhat vintage, and she was certain he would see it if attentive to his surroundings. She hoped for the best as she quietly exited and returned to her own bedroom. Jake arrived home later than usual. Tuckered out, after an evening with friends, he retired to his room. He viewed the apology card on his bed as he entered. He chuckled, not expecting an apology after the chili prank. He opened the card. “Hey, I feel bad for the prank I pulled on you even though you got me back with the chili. I say we stop trying to get back at each other and end this sibling skirmish. I left you a McDonalds gift card in the second drawer of your dresser. I hope we can get over this.” Jake smiled happily, he would not have to cogitate another hoax. Pondering what Alice meant by skirmish, he opened the drawer and found a gift card on his t-shirts; however, it was engulfed by five tarantulas busily creating a nest.

Jake’s arachnophobia surfaced causing him to jump back and scream like a little girl. He could hear Alice loudly amused in the adjoining room. She swiftly entered his room snatched the camera and made a hastily retreat.

“You little -” Jack started before he was cut off by Alice slamming the door. She continued laughing as she locked both entrances to her room. She replayed the video repetitively on the camera, giggling at the footage. The angle was perfect and recorded Jake’s every move. His screams and pounding on the door made it all worthwhile. She teased saying, “Oh Jake you have got to see this video, its hilarious!” “Maybe after I clean my drawer out I will,” He yelled back in an angry tone, “At least I actually got a gift card.”

Alice snickered yet again, and Jake brushed her amusement off, assuming it was from the video. Alice said, “You are welcome!” knowing the gift card was worthless.

A week passed and nothing happened. Alice was terrified of another prank coming her way. She opened doors and climbed the attic stairs cautiously. Before sitting she would inspect the seat of the chair. She was constantly alert, it was a terrifying yet uneventful time. She wondered if Jack had tried to use the gift card, perhaps that was the reason he had not initiated another prank.

Alice let her guard down, she did not want to continue the prank war. Then one Thursday afternoon Alice arrived home exhausted from a long day at school. She had to run the mile she missed in physical education when absent two weeks before. As she stepped inside the house, she saw Jake roaming the hall. “Hey Jake,” Alice yawned. “Hey Alice, you look tired,” Jake replied with fake concern in his voice.

“I am, I hate the required mile we have to complete every year,” she explained, “I just need to lie down. I’ll see you later.”

“See ya,” Jake said as Alice struggled up the stairs.

She opened the door and found the furniture disassembled. Dumbfounded, Alice’s jaw fell open. “I cannot decide if I am mad or impressed” she muttered. Turning she ambled toward the guest bedroom. To her surprise it had been dismantled too. Alice was done. She walked downstairs and collapsed on the couch. The prank war had become annoying. The following month ensued a series of pranks between the two siblings. Each one occurring at an inconvenient time.

One day Jake and Alice literally bumped into each other and plummeted to the floor. Neither were hurt but looked at each other and realized they were plotting the same prank at the same time. They were even carrying the exact supplies to execute the act. “Are you making a tripwire?” Alice asked.

“Yeah”, Jake said solemnly while feeling unoriginal. Alice began howling with laughter.

“We have to stop this,” she replied, “It is getting out of hand and honestly I am tired of thinking of pranks.”

“I’ll be honest I am too,” Jake answered sincerely, “agree to cease fire?”

“Agree to cease fire,” Alice said. After two months the prank war was finally over. They could return to normal life without being worried and anxious in their own home. “I’m sorry if I went too far Jake, I have felt bad for a few of the pranks,” Alice admitted.

 “Its fine, I went too far with a few of mine as well,” Jake genuinely replied.

“I’m glad it is over,” Alice stated. “Normal will be a nice change, for now.”