Dear Jake....... | Teen Ink

Dear Jake.......

November 25, 2010
By Healing_Angel SILVER, Sydney, Other
Healing_Angel SILVER, Sydney, Other
8 articles 2 photos 509 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live for today, not for tomorrow

Dear Jake,

I’m writing this to tell you how sorry I am for being so stupid, especially after all the warnings you gave me about texting and driving. I don’t blame you for not visiting me. In your situation, I’d have felt the same way. How did it feel knowing you might never see me again? Lying in the hospital after the accident, I had a lot of time to think about my actions and how stupid they were, but of course they are my fault and I can’t reverse the past, only learn from my mistakes. I never thought I’d be hit by that car, after all, it was only a two-minute text to my friend and I’d be fine. Or so I thought... I’d just pressed, “Send” when the car came out of nowhere, I swerved to try to avoid it, but it was no use. Even with the airbags, the nurses told me I was lucky to be alive.

I could have waited to send the text, but I didn’t. I thought I was invincible. The nurse sitting next to my bed when I woke up told me that Nicole and Ben had made a card for me and got the year to sign it, along with a bunch of flowers. My room is surrounded by them, but I don’t deserve them. I apologized to Mum and although she was angry at first, she’s just glad I’m alive. I don’t want to face you, but I’ll have to sometime, I can’t hide forever. The doctors told me it will be a while before I’m fully healed and I have to keep coming back for physio twice a week.

I find it hard to talk about, even now, 6 months later. I’m living proof that things like this can happen to anyone. At first I thought if I didn’t talk about it, it might go away, but it hasn’t. I’ve gradually realized that I have to be honest with myself and accept what’s happened. I’ll never forget. I’ll always be reminded that my stupidity resulted in the loss of my left leg. I have to talk about it. Even if people constantly tell me how stupid I was, I’ve been silent long enough.

I wanted people to feel my pain, my loss. I wanted sympathy. I wanted them to be me, lying there with one leg missing and the other a swollen, red lump of flesh. I was lost. I didn’t know what I’d be able to do now, with only one leg. There were so many things I had to adjust to, but I didn’t make it any easier for myself. I was angry for a long time. Days would pass and I wouldn’t talk to anyone; not Mum, Dad, Nicole, Ben or any of the countless nurses or psychologists who tried to get me to talk about what happed. It was all a blur to me then, my mind refused to allow me to remember, no matter how much I tried. I would have given up if it hadn’t been for Tamara.

Tamara was my nurse and she wouldn’t let me give up. I hated her for so long. She refused to let me feel sorry for myself. If I tried to quit physio, she’d stand there, waiting for me to give in. Even if I ended up screaming, or pounding my fists on the floor, she’d never let me go back to my room. Sometimes she’d wait for hours, but I’d still have to do it. If I could have run, I would have and not come back. I understand why she was so harsh. I knew at the time, I just didn’t want to accept it. If she hadn’t been so demanding, I wouldn’t have made any progress and would still be lying in the hospital feeling sorry for myself. If it hadn’t been for her, I wouldn’t be back at school or joined the swimming team. When I went back to school, people treated me differently and I was angry. It took me a while to realize that if I wanted to be treated normally, I had to act normally and stop feeling sorry for myself, which meant accepting my injuries. I’m trying to move on. Sometimes it’s not easy, but I’m getting there.

I’m sorry I hurt you. I hope you can forgive me.


The author's comments:
This is the first thing I've written in a while. I didn't plan to write this, it just came to me. I hope the paragraphs don't stuff up. On all my other pieces the paragraphs are too far apart. Let me know what you think and how I can improve.

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This article has 5 comments.

on Aug. 3 2011 at 7:57 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Great article!  It's kind of cliche, but well written enough that readers should ignore that.  For not writing in a while, this was an excellent article!

on May. 30 2011 at 7:28 am
mudpuppy BRONZE, Orangeburg, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 475 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is like a box of cheese and flower petal sometimes it's soft and sweet, sometimes it just plain stinks. - M.J.

Sad, but it's good that Tamara was a positive influence on her.  As Elizabeth's voice 'speaks' you can feel her guilt and development! :) Stories like this one teach pain, but important lessons without being cliche'. Five out of five! :)

Annerdy BRONZE said...
on Dec. 7 2010 at 2:44 am
Annerdy BRONZE, San Francisco, California
3 articles 0 photos 52 comments
Since you were the first person to comment on my thriller/mystery fiction "Sleep", I figured it would only be fair if I reviewed some of your work. :] I really like the way Elizabeth expresses her feelings on paper. Even though it's something she's ashamed of and there is a chance of rejection, she still manages to face the truth, apologize for what she's done wrong, and hopes for forgiveness. This really shows how small mistakes could lead to big consequences, such as texting while driving. It's something that could've been done another time, another place and the accident could've been avoided altogether. You really captured the mood of Elizabeth's realization, regret, and hope. I like how her letter allows the reader to understand what happened prior to the current situation. As her feelings transition, I really got the idea that the effect from the accident really changed Elizabeth's mindset. Wonderful job. :]

on Dec. 6 2010 at 9:46 pm
Ellawind PLATINUM, Seattle, Washington
40 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

Dream like you will live forever, live like you will die today.

I like the way you're so honest about this character. If I'd written something similar I wouldn't have thought about the embarrassment of causing your own limb loss, or realized it's the general 'invincible' feeling of teens that leads to things like this. You went very deeply into her mind.

I love the description of Tamara- it's great that you explained how she stopped feeling sorry for herself instead of just acting like it happened overnight. One thing I'm not really understanding is the connection between hurting this Jake person and the accident. Maybe you could clarify that a bit? Also, who is Jake? Friend, boyfriend, brother? What might be interesting is to write a couple more similar letters, see what happens. Great work, though!

-Missy- BRONZE said...
on Dec. 6 2010 at 6:21 pm
-Missy- BRONZE, Ahhh, South Dakota
1 article 0 photos 75 comments
Very interesting. The things that can happen when driving while texting. A girl that I knew had died from texting and driving. She was only a sophmore.  Its sad how many people, teens more than adults, die.