I have always been alone. Sure I have had the odd friend or two but something always happens and we go our separate ways. I do however have two older siblings; one brother and one sister; but they never take any notice of me especially after mum dies. Probably because I was with her when it happened. They never forgave me even if it wasn’t my fault; there wasn’t anything I could do. He came out for nowhere and just shot here and disappeared again. She died instantly.

Now two years on, Matt and Elisa both have nothing to do with me and dad works constantly so he doesn't have to see me. I never did recover from the accident; even now I still have nightmares about it. But two years on and I can't take it anymore. I have to get out of this place. There once was a tree down by the stream that Matt, Elisa, mum and I use to play when dad was at work. We would climb the tree and jump into the river, there was also a rope that we used sometimes.

Now two years on since mum dies and Matt and Elisa don't go to the river anymore, but I still do. Everyday I put white flowers there, everyday I say a prayer that there would forgive me. Mum's favourite place is the rose garden. Every birthday, anniversary, holiday I go there with white petals and say a prayer that everything will be okay.

Today it has been three years since mum died. Today is my last visit to the rose garden. I don't bring white petals, I bring black. I say my last prayer. I go to the river as I do every day. I don't bring white flowers. I bring black. I don’t say a prayer and I don’t cry any tears. I climb my last climb, just my last jump

It’s been three years today and I get to see my mum again.