It has been my greatest misfortune and worst regret to have ever had the inescapable fate of meeting the likes of you. If fate ever smiles upon me, I would go back in time and destroy every event that has led to the knowledge of your existence. If I ever wondered in my years before your arrival if life was cruel to me, now it has been evident that is has. Life has chosen me to be a pawn in a horrible game of cruel, unreliable, relentless, malevolent confusion. I utter, and emphasize self-pity in which would fill me at the mere thought of you. However, if anything goes right, our paths will cease to meet and no longer shall I have to endure the feeling of cold ice trickling down my throat whenever, against my will, your finicky and ludicrous existence returns.