“Hey babe!” I leaned in and kissed Josh. Well, I guess it was a bit more than a kiss. More like a mini make out session, but hey, what’s wrong with a little PDA?

“Get a room!” Someone yelled. I pulled away from Josh and laughed. Comments like that were always flying my way. They bothered me a little, but I figured it wasn’t bad if people noticed me. So maybe my skirts were a little short and my tops were a bit tight. But I had the body for it, and they made me look hot. Smokin’ hot.

“So I missed you yesterday. And the school missed your cute little half of the hottest couple at school.” Josh said in that way that makes me get butterflies inside.

“Awwww” I smiled before leaning in for another kiss.
I, Taylor McMuy, was the luckiest girl in the world. I had everything. I was dating the totally cool, totally hot Josh Landak. I was one of the most popular girls in school. People liked me. That was all I needed. I pressed my body even further into Josh’s.

“Hey Tay! Hey Josh! How’s the happy couple?” A girl with milk chocolate brown hair and a flawless perfection walked up, interrupting my make out session.

“Hey Tam!” I plastered on a bright, cheerful smile that would have outdone any cheerleader, prom queen, or school president in the country.

“I love you’re skirt Tay!” Tammie exclaimed, motioning to my brand new black and white mini skirt that was about four inches long. It was very sexy and very expensive.

“Thanks Tam. I like your shirt!” At least that’s what I said out loud. In all honesty I hated her shirt. But if Tammie didn’t like me, then what would people say? I had to be very careful if I was going to keep up my social status, and that was a tedious game. It was all about who thought what about who. I couldn’t let people talk about me. Not again.

At that moment I really wanted Tammie to leave. I wanted to get back to Josh. Or rather, get back to Josh paying attention to me. Right now he was eyeing Tammie’s cleavage. I needed to regain attention fast.

“Joshie,” I ran my hand through Josh’s hair, “Will you please go get me a non-fat mocha latte?”

“What? Oh, sure.” Josh ripped his eyes away from Tammie and walked off.

“So Tay,” Tammie said in a freakishly chipper voice, “You’re coming to the party tonight, right? I hear it’s gonna be epic!”

“Actually, I can’t. It’s my mom’s birthday. Ughhh. Actually, I’m already late for the celebration.” Josh walked up with my non-fat mocha latte. I grabbed it, then thanked him, and explained why I had to go.

“You’re gonna leave me already?” Josh complained, sticking out his lower lip. He kissed me goodbye for about a full minute. Tammie, I noticed, wasn’t too upset to see me leave.

*
*
*


I walked up the steps of a huge house that had muted music coming from the inside. I knew that once I stepped inside the music would be so loud that the walls would shake. “Perfect” I said to no one in particular, “Glad I didn’t miss this party”

My mom’s celebration had ended early, and she let me go. I was about 2 hours late to the party, but it still had about 4 hours left before things would wind down. I would just be fashionably late. Really fashionably late.

“Hey, have you seen Josh?” I asked some girl in a black sequined skirt after having scanned the main rooms. She told me he was upstairs.

I walked upstairs and found two closed doors. Not knowing which one held Josh, I took a guess. Behind the first one was an empty bedroom with a bunch of country band posters on the walls. I used to like country.
I opened the second door to find Tammie and Josh in full on liplock.

The next thing I knew I was running down the stairs and out the front door. My vision blurred as I was practically blinded by an avalanche of tears. Images flashed through my mind as things started to fit into place.

Josh eyeing Tammie’s cleavage

Josh and Tammie studying for Spanish together (Why did I have to take French?)

Tammie missing movie night on the same night that Josh “forgot”

Josh and Tammie kissing in an upstairs bedroom

As I cried and fumbled for my keys I heard someone yelling my name. I knew that voice. It was the voice of a traitor.
“Taylor! Taylor, please! Listen to me!” I had a feeling he had called my name several times before I even processed his voice.
I suddenly whirled around to face him. “How long?” I demanded.
“Excuse me?” He seemed taken aback.
“How….long!!!!????” I repeated between sobs.
“I thought you weren’t coming tonight.” He said softly. He seemed suddenly incapable of looking me in the eyes.
“ANSWER ME!” I screamed, now on the verge of hysteria.
“About 4 months, but-” I didn’t hear anything after that, I was too busy processing what he had said. Four months? Four whole months?!?!? He and I had only dated eight months and 11 days! He had been cheating on me for almost half of our relationship! I had to get out of there.
I finally found my car keys. As I opened the car door, I felt a strong hand close around my arm, stopping me. It was his.
“Taylor, please!” His voice was soft and gentle, but it still cut through my heart, “I’m sorry Tay. I-I love you.”
I stumbled. Love? LOVE?!?! I had been waiting to hear those words for months now, and he chooses to say them now? It was more than I could bear. I got in the car, turned on the engine, and drove away. As I drove and drove to know apparent destination, I cried. I cried for the voice that had once given me butterflies that now made me sick to my stomach. I cried for the lips that I thought were reserved for me but were now stained with the kiss of Tammie. I cried for the four months I had thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. I cried for the way I’d changed myself to fit Josh’s circle of friends. I cried for the shallowness I had given into to be accepted. I cried for the loss of all real happiness in my life. I cried for the fact that I had to cry alone, with no real friends to comfort me. I cried for the way I had failed at being the perfect girlfriend. I cried for the fact that I couldn’t erase this night, that I couldn’t start over. I cried for the name that would forever haunt me. I cried for the desire to turn around and accept Josh’s apology. I cried for the fact that Josh had never loved me, just the person I pretended to be. I cried for the reason that I could never hate Josh, even though I wanted to. I cried for those three little words that smashed my heart into pieces.
Finally I needed to stop driving, so I pulled over onto the side of some road. My hands, stained with the mascara that had been wiped from my eyes, picked up a picture of Josh and me that had been put in a cute picture frame that hung on my rearview mirror. It was taken on our first month anniversary. He had taken me roller-skating. It was the day we first kissed. I smiled at the memory, even though I was hurt inside. I knew then that I would forgive Josh, but I wouldn’t go back to him. And even if I did go back, I knew that things would never be the same between us.

“I love you too, Josh.”

The picture fell to the floor.