“Go to your happy place. Go to your happy place.”
The words keep replaying in my head over and over again. Whenever I was sad, she would whisper those words. But now she’s gone. As I watch her being lowered into the ground, I fight to hold back tears. No one will have the satisfaction of seeing me cry. Everyone around me is shedding tears. But I know that the only people there that care that she’s gone are me and her parents. Everyone else is just there to pose for the photographer that’s doing an article on her. She was a person, not a story. They’re all just lying. They are the reason she’s gone.
They pushed her to her limits. They pushed me to my limits. They taunted us every day. While we were walking, at school, everywhere. They forced us to do everything even though we couldn’t handle it. They made us feel like we were unimportant, until we really believed it. We both decided to end it all. The pills were in our hands. But I said, “Wait,” too late. She started choking and vomiting, and before I knew it, she was gone. Tears started streaming down my face and wouldn’t stop for anything. I cradled her in my arms and screamed my head off. No one could hear me. It’s all their fault. Their fault. She was my only friend. The only one I could talk to. I couldn’t even talk to my own parents. They would’ve told everyone and sent me off to a shrink. I wasn’t crazy. I just didn’t feel like I mattered and neither did she. It was fate that we met and became best friends. But it doesn’t matter anymore because she’s gone. I don’t have anyone.
As the crowd disperses, I stay and just look at her coffin below the ground where it’s not supposed to be. I whisper a final good-bye and walk home. Once there, I start sobbing so hard, my stomach hurts. I can’t take this pain anymore. I am all alone. I must take the pills. I need to be with her. The white and blue capsules fall into my shaking hands. With a glass of water in one hand, and the pills in the other, I take slow, deep breaths. My eyes burn from all the tears that have leaked out. The pills touch my lips, but my cell phone buzzes before I can take them. It’s the hottest guy in school, and the guy I’m in love with actually calling me! I answer the phone.
“Hey there! I know that you were really good friends with Jenny. I’m so sorry about the loss! I know what it’s like to lose a best friend. My little brother was killed in a car accident when I was only eleven. I thought it was the end of everything, but things started to pick up eventually. Maybe we could hang out soon and talk about it?”
I don’t say anything. I throw the glass of water against the wall, and it shatters into a million pieces. Then I dump the pills into the trash.
I have someone. I’m not alone.
And you never are either. Don’t end your life too soon, because something good always comes from something bad.