Why won't you see me? I ask myself this every day. That along with the much favored question, do you even know I exist? Today is the day. Today is the day I muster up every ounce of courage I have and sit next to you at lunch. Not only that, but I will open my mouth and speak to you as if you don't make my hands sweat or butterflies erupt in my tummy. Here I go, three tables to the left and two deep.

"Hey." i smile and wave. You look up breifly and send me a small smile. It's not much, a breif tilt to the corner of your lips, but it's something. "I'm Nicki."

You nod, not bothering to look up. "I know." I am shocked. I didn't think you knew anything about me, not even my name. "You're in my art class, history too." I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

"Right." You look back up at me and give me the look I'm so used to to. The look that screams 'freak! You don't belong here!' I know the look and you see it on my face. I look away and you go back to your book. Why won't you see me?

"So, what are you reading?" I ask, I'm trying to make conversation. You sigh and break your eyes from the page for a moment.

"Treasure Island." I nod, not wanting to bother you further. You sigh again and go back to reading. I take a moment, just a moment, to look at you. You're so peaceful. And handsome too, but why won't you look up and talk to me? It's no use. I sigh and take my tray to the bathroom, leading myself to the very last stall where i sit on top of the toilet tank and eat in silence.

Why won't you see me?