It is currently April 26th and there is nothing I would rather do then stay in my bed with my headphones in and shut the world out for the rest of the day. I've always found music to have that effect on me. It seems that no matter what it just allows me to completely shut my self off from the rest of the world. Don't get me wrong! I enjoy interacting with people just as much as the next girl, but there are times where I prefer to be alone. I can spend all day lying under my covers listening to music and I wouldn't mind one bit. Let me repeat that, I wouldn't mind. My friends and family seem to have other differing opinions of what I do with my free time. I guess they just don't really understand what it's like to want to be alone.

The sun shone bright through the window on a rather quiet Saturday morning. Quiet for 10:22 in the morning that is. I decide to try and get up, but I realize that getting out of bed and being a productive human being is the last thing I feel like doing right now. I reach over to check my phone and see any messages I may have gotten from anyone this morning. Nothing.

"SERENAAAAAA!" My mother yells from the kitchen. "COME DOWN AND EAT BREAKFAST. YOU NEED TO LEARN TO WAKE UP AT A NORMAL HOUR AND EAT WITH THE REST OF US SO YOUR FOOD DOESN'T GET COLD AND..."

Every time my mom goes on one of her 'I'm going to yell for absolutely no reason just because I can' yelling sprees, I choose to tune her out after about the second sentence. I do decide to mosey my way downstairs though and grab my plate of pancakes and sit down next to my younger brother at the table.

"Hey squirt! How're you doing on this fine Saturday morning?" I said.

"You know, I'm fifteen years old now so I think you can stop calling me squirt" he retorts back to me.

"Nah, Scotty you're always going to be squirt to me, even when you're sixty-two!"
He flashes a bright smile at me and continues eating his breakfast. Over the sound of Blink-182's blasting song Feeling This in my right ear I hear my mother asking me all sorts of questions.

"So sweetie, what do you plan on doing today? Are you going to spend time with your friends? Or Scott? Or someone? Please tell me you're going to be interactive with some part of the human race today." She stares at me with disapproving eyes obviously because she doesn't agree with my concept of spending time by myself.

"I don't know," I said. "I wasn't exactly planning on it. I was kind of just thinking of going back up to my room, curling up under a blanket, and listening to my music."

"Serena Eileen Yagerwoods you are going outside of this house today! In the name of all that is cream cheese you live in the beautiful state of California, enjoy it for once!"

"Mom, I really don't see your problem with me spending time by myself every once in awhile. Some peace and quiet does the soul and body good. Ask anyone!"

Hastily I get up and run up the stairs into my bedroom. I rip off my pajamas and put on my typical weekend wear - swimsuit with high waist shorts and a tank top. I slip on my flip - flops grab my headphones along with my IPhone, run back down the stairs and out the door. I could never be more grateful to live a block from the beach. The light wind moved softly over my face and I smelled the salty sea air. As I climb down the wooden steps of the boardwalk I continue to think about this habit I have of being alone. I just can't seem to grasp why my mom thought this was such a bad thing. I thought it just made me a calmer and better person, but I guess not. My thoughts seemed to have gotten the best of me because all of a sudden it seemed as if I had forgotten how to walk. One foot went in front of the other but this was awkward. Time seemed to stop and for a brief moment I realized what was going on. I was falling. I tripped. How fantastic is this?

I sensed the warm grainy sand on my face and tongue. Slowly rising off the ground I looked around me. All I saw were uneasy glares, and a few snooty kids a couple hundred feet from me laughing at my misfortune. Flipping my hair over my face, I had not one thought. I was no longer thinking about being alone anymore. I realized that maybe I am never alone, and this is why my mom wanted me to go outside and experience something other than my bedroom door. I glance off into the distance again and see the same kids still giggling over my tragic fall. Steadily I get up on my knees and then rise onto my feet again. This time I thought out loud and I said,

"And this is why I never go out in public."