A Victim Of The Gun | TeenInk

A Victim Of The Gun

April 7, 2013
By Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light" --Dylan Thomas


Please. Don't call me a hero. Don't say that I am lucky. Don't allow your parents to use me as a dinner-time topic. And when you see me on the news, name and face under a heading like " Local Girl Saves School from Shooter", don't assume that I'm happy I lived, because we all lost something that day. Unfortunately for me, it was my heart.

I remember hearing the first shot during AP art. We all sat, shook shaken trembling in our desks, teachers marker poised at the board. Waiting. This period of waiting lasted a short while, and the silence spell was broken with the crackling sound of the loudspeaker. Principal Green's voice echoed around the tiny, windowless room. " this is a lock down. I repeat, dangerous personal in th-".

Second shot.

The teacher herded us like sheep into the supply closet. The 21 kids with stricken faces tumbled over numbed bodies, fighting for a place in the back. Paper and crayons shoved haphazardly to the floor. Ms. Levin closed the door, finger to her lips. We shook. Silence ate away at the tension, and for a fleeting minute we were given a present of false hope.

Then the third shot
And the fourth.
And the fifth.

Standing, pressed against Ms. Levin's arms and Emma's hip I counted 19 more shots followed by countless screams. Then,

Silence.

We heard the classroom door creak open and a girl squeaked. Hollowed footsteps brought walking death to our closet door.

Silence while the masked man turned the handle.

Silence, while lips trembled, noses ran with snot and faces quivered in hands.

Silence when he drew the gun and fired two shots.
I watched in slow motion as the bullet entered Ms. Levin's head. Watched as she thudded to the floor.

I watched in slow motion how the bullet flung itself into Emma's stomach, catapulting her backwards into a tub of markers. Watched as she placed small hands over the wound and drew them back red.

So when I turned my face back to the man, who had drew his gun on me, I decided I couldn't die. I wouldn't die. And when he said "sorry", finger on the trigger, my hand was already clasped around a clay knife, making way to its target.

And when I woke up in the hospital screaming. I felt the blood that was no longer on my hands, and searched for a heart with a now broken pulse.

So please. I am not a hero. Just another victim.



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This article has 17 comments.


on Jul. 7 2013 at 5:54 pm
dragonfly95 SILVER, Argaon, Georgia
7 articles 0 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
'' there is nothing to fear but fear its self''

This is a very interesting and pertinent work. I like it though there are a few grammatical errors, you can tell that your heart was in this peice. The last line was the best part. Good job :)

Diana101 GOLD said...
on Jun. 19 2013 at 8:14 pm
Diana101 GOLD, Grove City, Ohio
13 articles 0 photos 107 comments

Favorite Quote:
"God's delays are not God's denials"

Wow, this was incredible . Very well written . I liked it :)

ephemeral GOLD said...
on May. 27 2013 at 1:44 am
ephemeral GOLD, Park City, Utah
17 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All that is gold does not glitter/Not all those who wander are lost/The old that is strong does not wither/Deep roots are not reached by the frost"

This is the second time that I've read this and I've liked it both times. The satire is made even more poignant by the fact that it's first person narrative in the viewpoint of the girl herself. The trauma of the event pokes through with the almost exhausted tone of the narrator and the disatisfaction with how her deed is being treated. This is a really emotionless retelling of the events, as though the victim is still experiencing the shock and trauma of the event (in denial), but at times it's too void of emotion. I would suggest trying to inlay something that betrays how distraught the narrator really is, to get people tp synpathize with her and not treat her as the hero by recognizing how she was affected in this whole ordeal. There could be work in the middle to convey even more dreaful fear, because in this type of situation you know that your heart would be slamming through your chest and your adrenaline's going to go crazy. Other than that it;s a truly fine piece.

on May. 24 2013 at 7:24 pm
StarlitSunrise DIAMOND, Clemmons, North Carolina
56 articles 0 photos 253 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing." ~Camille Pissarro

  I really liked the beginning of this. :) You put an interesting spin on a somewhat popular story, and the ending was definitely unexpected. Good writing!

on May. 23 2013 at 12:16 pm
Someone2know BRONZE, Council Bluffs, Iowa
4 articles 2 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dont let your insecurities ruin the beauty you were born with.(:

This was amazing.. :)

on May. 21 2013 at 7:44 pm
Rebecca.xx BRONZE, Springboro, Ohio
4 articles 3 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."
-Edgar Allan Poe
(this summarizes my life)

I love it! Chilling, twisted, yet hopeful. I wouldn't change a thing!

on May. 12 2013 at 11:20 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

This is fantastic!! So chilling......and ur such a good writer, u shld be proud! ;)

on May. 1 2013 at 1:53 am
Cutey-Beauty SILVER, Ulaanbaator, Other
6 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
Soli Deo Gloria.

WOW! Brilliantly written! You really have a talent for suspense and chose your words well to bring out all the emotions. :) Keep on writing!

on Apr. 29 2013 at 6:08 pm
JustAnotherOwl SILVER, Unknown, New York
6 articles 0 photos 379 comments

Favorite Quote:
"See, we don't really care who you are;
Everyone is capable of looking up and wishing on a star.
So catch it, so contagious, this day-dreamer's disease,
And hope can be your sword, slaying darkness with belief."

"Sanctuary"- Paradise Fears

I really really really really adore this piece. I love the way it's written- seriously, you're incredibly talented! The lay out is great and I love the fact that the piece is so short- it gets across the point really well. I especially like, in the very beginning, when you use the phrase "dinner-time topic. This piece is really incredible.

Hanban12 ELITE said...
on Apr. 27 2013 at 10:00 am
Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
133 articles 7 photos 633 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
Henry David Thoreau

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once."
John Green

OMG! I absolutely love this! it reminds me of the recent elementary school shooting... so sad! But i love how you first off grabbed the readers attention, not letting them go. I had to read this twice, and still got teh same affect. Awesome! :)

Makala SILVER said...
on Apr. 24 2013 at 9:18 pm
Makala SILVER, Three Rivers, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.
--Albert Einstein

Good job! I liked it!

on Apr. 24 2013 at 6:14 pm
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

OMG. SERIOUSLY. writing* not writter.

on Apr. 23 2013 at 8:21 pm
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

Liv! Liv! Liv! I love, love, love this! Your writter is always more impressive by each piece of work I read. I am so happy you wrote this.. seriously, this is AMAZING. The chills I got were like no other and it made my body shudder! (See what I did there?) Seriously, the emotion in here is CRAZY good. I love the title and the first stanza, sets up the beginning of something I'll never forget reading. The way the whole story is layed out is very good. I mean this is so spectacular. The emotions are sincere. Descriptions are visual. MORE PEOPLE NEED TO READ THIS. Great job. Perfect job.

on Apr. 23 2013 at 5:53 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

You have quite a few grammar errors, but WOW. This is fantastic. I love the drama, the emotion, and everything. This is so well-written. 5/5

on Apr. 22 2013 at 9:39 pm
IndigoElisabeth SILVER, Woodbury, New Jersey
5 articles 1 photo 171 comments

Favorite Quote:
John 1:1

Wow. That was breathtaking. Wow. I don't have any critiques for this. It was amazing.

on Apr. 22 2013 at 9:18 pm
Literature_Darling GOLD, Warrenton, Virginia
14 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To live is the rarest thing of all. Most people exsist and that is all." ~Oscar Wilde
"I am a writer quite by accident, the way one my fall and rip a hole in their jeans." ~Blogger H. B. Sachs

So brilliant that I have no words at all...I sat here staring at my screen for five minutes trying to find something to describe how I'm feeling....I just can't  

Mckay ELITE said...
on Apr. 22 2013 at 3:51 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

OMG!! That gave me chills. A cold sweat is running down my spine. This is something everyone needs to read. Great work.