The Enlightening Hour | Teen Ink

The Enlightening Hour

May 19, 2013
By Pendragon BRONZE, Westphalia, Kansas
Pendragon BRONZE, Westphalia, Kansas
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart." - Winnie the Pooh


He ran his hand through his light brown hair while staring at the blank computer screen in front of him. The soft tick of the clock hanging on the wall seemed to mock Alan’s own thoughts, repetitive nothingness. With a sigh, Alan leaned back in his chair and tried to block out every sound and distraction in his office, but it was useless. The more he tried to obstruct the world around him, the more his frustration grew. Alan rose from his chair and walked toward the window in his office, staring at the scenery outside. He tried searching for any signs of muse, anything to spark his interest, but the inspiration wasn’t there. A feeling of defeat filled the deepening hole that had forever been molded into Alan’s heart, and a familiar hollowness washed over him. Was this it? Were all of those endless nights dealing with stress-induced headaches and writer’s block going to be like the dreams he had one followed avidly? Thrown away and forgotten?

“That’s right,” murmured a portentous voice. “Give up. You’re a failure, just like you tell yourself all the time. You will never follow your dreams. It’s useless, Alan! Useless!”

“Who are you to judge me?” questioned Alan, not sure who he was asking exactly.

“Really? You’re going to ask me that? Wow, you really are gullible.” The voice chuckled. “Do you want to know who I am? Ponder it for a moment. Who would know you better than yourself, Alan?”
Feeling like he had lost a few marbles of his sanity, he backed away from the window. Alan moved toward his chair with stiff movements and sat in it as pale and concrete as a statue. He listened as the voice inside his head and the clock on the wall begun to resonate through his mind in mock unison.

Tick-tock. “Failure.” Tick-tock. “You hear that? Your time is ticking away! Hurry, before your dreams vanish!”

Alan would’ve been driven to a mental breakdown if a soft knock hadn’t broken the vexed trance he was in. He looked toward the door and saw Bianca, his wife, standing in the doorway with a concerned look on her face. Bianca slowly made her way toward Alan and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Alan,” she said in the gentlest of voices. “It’s eleven o’clock. Why don’t you come to bed and start on your book when you’ve had some rest?”

“I can’t,” retorted Alan. “I have to start writing this book now. If I don’t think of something now, I’ll lose everything I’ve been working for.”

Bianca tucked a few strands of her blonde hair behind her ear. “Just what are you trying to prove, Alan?”

The aggravation Alan felt at himself bit at his soul like a hungry beast, and it only prompted the reply that answered his dear wife’s question. “Nothing.”

“I don’t believe that,” she said while gazing at Alan as he watched the illuminant computer screen, searching for answers that would never come. “You’re trying to prove to yourself that you’re not a failure.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but shut it after a second later. Alan had nothing to say because, even though he didn’t want to admit it, Bianca was right.

As if reading his mind, she ran her fingers through his brown locks and answered his thoughts. “There’s no reason to feel angry at yourself, Alan,” she said, “You’re a terrific writer, and you’re not a failure. I believe and God believes in you too, no matter what you may think.”
Quietly, Alan let Bianca’s comforting words sink in. Had he been so caught up in himself that he forgot the people who actually cared about his dreams as much as he did? Had he forgotten about God?
An unexpected feeling of warmth rushed over Alan’s body as a sudden realization hit him. He couldn’t believe how long it had taken him to figure it all out when it was staring him right in the face all along. There were people who believed in him, people who would reach to the ends of the earth to cheer him on as he chased his dreams. Not only did God have unwavering faith in him, but Bianca did as well, and that was all he needed to move forward. Life wasn’t about pleasing himself or others; it was about traveling the distance between all of the doubts and worries formed inside your mind, and making the lifetime God gave you last until it was rewarding and fulfilling. Alan was surely not a failure. In fact, he was a winner, and a road full of promise and hope lay right in front of him to finish.

Alan stood up from his chair and wrapped his arms tightly around Bianca’s body. “Thank you,” he whispered into her ear, “I would’ve never woken up again if it hadn’t been for you.”

She hugged him and said, “It was all God’s doing, not mine.”

“Then thank you, God.” He let out a small laugh and kissed his wife tenderly on the lips.

Bianca kissed him back and placed her head upon his chest. “I love you,” she whispered while closing her eyes to savor the moment.

“I love you too,” replied Alan in a soft tone, his hand caressing her hair.

They stayed there in each other’s arms for what seemed like hours until she unwrapped her arms from Alan’s frame and slowly pulled away from his embrace.

“I think I’m going to bed now,” she said, heading toward the door. “Don’t stay up too late, okay?” She paused at the threshold of the door and gazed at him. “And Alan… I hope you found what you were looking for.”

“I think I did,” he mused with a smile.

Her smile reflected his as she turned to leave. “Alright then, good night, and I’ll see you in the morning.” Bianca left the room.

With his smile still lingering upon his lips, Alan sat down in his chair and placed his hands upon the computer’s keyboard in front of him. Even though Alan was the only one in the room again, he didn’t feel alone. God was there, and He was uncovering the words Alan had so desperately tried to create. The blank screen that had held so much emptiness before was now being filled with the story that was buried so deep within his heart, and it started like this:

Sometimes, we just have to be brave enough to take that first step toward the finish line. We’re not always guaranteed a safe journey to our destination, but it’s the little things in-between that mean the most. Before I met her, I wouldn’t have believed any of that, but, the more I fell in love with her, the more my eyes started to see through the fog that clouded my vision. This woman is the reason I am the way I am today, and I have God to thank for giving her to me. This is my testimony to others that no matter how bumpy the road may be, it always becomes a little brighter when you have someone walking beside you.



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 0 comments.