Autumn snapped upright in the stiff bed. She woke up to find a a tear-streaked face looking back at her. Autumn’s sister, Abira let out a shriek when she saw her move for the first time in hours. She put a gentle, warm hand on Autumn’s shoulder. She murmured something about lying back down. Autumn pushed back and refused.
“Ab, don’t,” Autumn’s voice was weak as she looked around the grey hospital room. The hospital smell was familiar. Like mild yet toxic cleaning product.
“Autumn... do you remember why you’re here?” She sounded tense, though she meant for it to come out in a calm tone. Autumn ripped back the sleeve on the crisp, dry gown she wore. It revealed raw cuts up and down her arm.
“ Of course I do,” Autumn said, gesturing to her arm. Depression began to set in again. “Is Mom coming?” she asked, not really caring.
“ I- I think so. She’s at a meeting with a client. I’m going to call for a nurse. I think it’s best if you’re asleep right now,” Abira responded.
A nurse entered the room shortly after and gently asked Autumn if she wanted to sleep. Autumn opened her mouth in response and swallowed two little white pills forcefully. She focused on a red squashy arm chair until the room began to disappear as she fell into a deep sleep.


Autumn heard a voice in the blackness of her own mind. Do you want to be happy? Yes, she said. Are you willing to be happy? Yes, she said, raising her voice. Will you let yourself live if you’re happy? Yes! Autumn yelled.

Autumn walked the familiar, yet somehow different concrete halls. The noises of the morning surrounded her, but they were distant. She heard the slamming of locker doors and the incessant teenage chatter. Autumn walked alone as usual. She preferred it that way. She saw a few friends from her old school, giggling carelessly as they walked by. Autumn made her way into the dark, dank locker room for gym. As she opened her locker, a small scrap of paper floated gently down to the ground. She picked it up and unfolded the note. She was in the middle of considering how weird and dream-like the whole situation felt, before reading a scrawled message:

Meet me in the east hallway outside the physics lab at 12:15, don’t be late.

Autumn read the note a few times. She looked at her watch and realized she had two minutes to get across the school. Remembering the voice in her head, she sprinted down the halls and arrived outside a classroom breathing heavily . Her eyes swept the hallway briefly but found nothing-- no one. Autumn scolded herself. Of course it was a joke. Another cruel joke. She sat down, frustrated but not sad. She felt a burning anger she hadn’t in years. It felt good. It wasn’t the same vulnerable and defeated feeling she normally felt. Autumn got up, her fists clenched. She crossed her arms, and stood defiantly. She waited two minutes. At this point she heard a voice from behind her.
“ Wow, look at you all tough and strong,” the words were taunting but the tone of voice was pleasant. “You probably barely need what I came to give you, but it might come in handy.”
Autumn stared at this girl. She didn’t recognize her. She had a blurred figure. Her face looked overexposed, and the faint sunlight filling the hall nearly washed out her features. The girl moved swiftly towards her in a graceful manner, she pulled out a marker and commanded her to put her arm out . Autumn hesitated at first, but eventually gave in. The girl grabbed Autumn’s arm and as she did this, Autumn lept back in surprise.
“ I know, It’s a little cold,” the girl said, as though she knew that’s how Autumn would react. “ That’s what happens when you die.”
“ You’re- you’re dead?” Autumn responded. The girl threw her head back and laughed. It was an eerie, yet beautiful sound.
“ Of course! Now give me your wrist. I have something for you,” she said, suddenly serious. Autumn held out her arm and barely flinched when the girl touched her this time. She expected the cold. She did not, however, expect the faint burning and warmth she felt when the marker touch her skin. It wasn’t painful, it was a nice feeling. It reminded her of the anger and power she had felt a few minutes earlier.
The girl stepped back, admiring her work. Autumn looked down to see a shiny semicolon on her wrist. It still felt warm.
“ What’s this supposed to mean?” Autumn said, feeling frustrated by this girl.
“ Your story’s not over. Just remember that,” the girl said as she capped the marker and turned on her heel.
“ Wait! What’s your name?” Autumn shouted.
“ River. River Lassin .” With that, She was gone.

Autumn had roamed the halls, not really knowing what to do with herself, for what felt like a very long time. Although she was lonely, she was in a good mood. She saw beauty in things she wouldn’t normally, from the mural painted on the wall, to the wood paneled windows in every hall. Autumn wondered why the bell hadn’t rung for her next class yet, but didn’t really let it bother her. Nothing was really bothering her right now. She thought back to the voice and blackness before she got to the school. She felt happy and willing to be happy. Even just from meeting and talking to River. The only thing she wondered was whether she would let herself live. If she was in that gym class, where the boy with the blonde hair wolf whistled at her mockingly, would she want to be alive? Autumn shook her head as though to push that thought out of her mind.
“Autumn! I haven't seen you in months!” a slightly rotund, rosy cheeked man shouted. He wore a grey custodian uniform.
“Hi Rick!” Autumn responded. Rick was a nice, happy man who had always been nice to Autumn. The first time they had met each other was when some people had managed to put four locks on her locker at the end of the school day, so she had no way of getting into it. She sat, crying for about an hour before Rick came along and asked her what was wrong. He told her after that he had lost his little girl to cruelty. Autumn had never understood what he meant. He always went out of his way to be nice to her after that though.
“ I’m just going to ignore the fact that you’re not in class because we have to catch up! Also someone told me to bring you to room 36 so I figure we can talk on the way there,” Rick said smiling.
“ Who told you to bring me there?” Autumn asked him. Rick thought for a moment.
“You know, I don’t remember!” They both laughed heartily because, though Rick was loved by staff and students alike, it was known that he was extremely forgetful. He would vacuum a room eight times in one day while forgetting to do the other seven.
The two walked and talked. Autumn felt happy, but wondered why on earth she was supposed to go to room 36. It concerned her a bit, but she tried to enjoy listening to Rick tell funny stories about the school. Finally they arrived outside the room. Autumn peered inside, but it was dark. She checked the handle; it was open.
“ I’ll walk you in… this seems a little sketchy,” Rick told Autumn. They both walked inside to the pitch black room. Suddenly, tiny lights popped up around the room. They illuminated pictures. These pictures were of Autumn. She crossed the room in two long strides and saw a picture of her in 8th grade. She looked upset and there was a girl standing next to her, laughing. She saw another one, she was about six. She was at her father’s funeral. And there was another one-- 5th grade where the boy she liked was holding hands with the pretty brunette who was spitting in her face. She didn’t understand; no one had taken pictures of these moments. They were memories.
A clicking noise and a movie picture was projected against the wall.
“ What the-” Rick began, but the a loud noise filled the small space.
Autumn cried. She talked about how mean they were to her. Her sister told her she was overreacting. Her mom yelled for her to shut up as she was about to take a conference call.
Autumn teared up. She remembered that day-- she was about ten.
Autumn saw the facebook page while sitting alone at home. Thirty-seven likes. It stated that she was ugly and useless.
Autumn gave a strangled yelp. She had been in 7th grade here.
Autumn was in her bathroom, she was alone. She was about to do it.
“No!” she yelled. It was the first day she’d cut. Autumn suddenly felt the semicolon burn. It burned warm and she felt sudden anger. She felt stronger.
The boy wolf whistled and his friends laughed cruelly. They made fun of her clothes.
“No!” She yelled again. “No!” She screamed it louder. The semicolon burned more.
“Why doesn’t she just kill herself? She deserves to die,” The voice of her old best friend said.
“No I don’t! I want to be alive! I want to live! I deserve to be alive!” Autumn screamed. She screamed with every ounce of energy she had. The heat of the semicolon on her wrist consumed her body until she felt nothing but strength. All at once,it stopped.
The next moments were a blur, she saw Rick’s face. He was sobbing, He went over to her and hugged her. He told her he wished his little girl could have been as strong as her. She disintegrated in his embrace and was in blackness.


Congratulations. You want to be happy, You’re willing to be happy, and you’re letting yourself live.
Autumn opened her eyes. Her sister and mom talked in hushed voices in the corner. She felt warm and looked down to see the semi colon on her wrist. Small writing had appeared underneath it: “Your story’s not over.” Autumn smiled and looked around. As she did this, she noticed a plaque on the wall above the red squashy arm chair.
In loving memory of River Lassin.
Love, Your daddy Rick Lassin.