I can’t believe I was so stupid. I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was so ugly. It looked terrible, and I actually liked it when I first cut it. What was I thinking?
Ugh. The bell needs to hurry up and ring. I just want to go home already. The clock is moving so slow. I want to walk into my room and stare at the beautiful posters on my wall of ‘Four’ (Justin, Jesse, Steven, and Josh. Justin is my favorite.) I want to listen to that one song by them that’s always on the radio. It’s really catchy, and I’ve been listening to it for days.
“Hey, Carol!” I heard Noelle from across the room. She jumped out of her seat and came over to my desk.
“Wanna go to the mall after school? We can stop by like, McDonalds or something and eat. I’ll pay for you!” she exclaimed.
I like Noelle and all, like she’s probably my best friend, but right now, I just want to go home and listen to Four!
“Oh, sorry Noelle. I have to go straight home today, I have plans and stuff.” I replied, staring at the clock.
Noelle opened her mouth to say something but the bell rang & this time I jumped out of my seat, and I ran to my bus. As soon as I got onto my bus I noticed that my absolute favorite song in the whole world started playing! Then, I looked down and realized that it was my phone ringing.
Whoever is calling me is gonna have to like text me and all, cause I’d much rather listen to this song. I thought, looking out the window.
I decided to check my Twitter and one of the tweets really caught my attention. Justin said:
“Guess who got himself a girlfriend! Jdkafhiedlflk MEEE! You’re too cute - jennaaa”
This was such a surprise to me. The first thing that came to my mind was
Is this some kind of sick joke?
I clicked on the -jennaaa link and then clicked on her picture. It showed a shoulder length brunette with green eyes. The first thing I did was judge her, duh. I was just thinking about how she’s not even that pretty and Justin could do so much better. Then I started going a bit crazy, and saying how Jenna is ruining my life because me and Justin are supposed to be together, get married, and eventually have seven kids. I was actually really sad. When I got off of my bus, I dramatically ran home in tears.
I barged into my empty house, and ran directly to my bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror, then looked at Jenna’s picture on Twitter. I was just thinking about how, if Justin likes girls with short hair and bangs, maybe I should cut it like that? I didn’t even think anymore than that. I just yanked my drawer open and got some scissors. My hands were trembling as I cut straight across to form bangs, and as I tried cutting the back. In a matter of seconds, the hair that once went down to my lower back, was gone. I didn’t even think much of it, I just looked at myself again and lied to myself about how cute it looked.
People at school were giving me weird looks, but I just thought, or pretended to think, that they were just jealous. Now that I look back, I can be honest with myself and say that they were all thinking it looked gross. At least no one was rude. The only person to say anything at all was Noelle. She wasn't rude either. She just asked me what happened. I told her the whole story and when I was done, she just pursed her lips and shook her head. The same way my parents reacted.
“what?!” I yelled, the fury building inside me.
“ This is all because of Justin? Don’t you think that’s a bit much? Yes? No? ‘Cause I do.” she answered.
“No, Noelle, it is not ‘a bit much’,” I mocked her, making a face, “ This is great”
“ I don’t know I think it’s kinda weird.” she replied.
“O” I mumbled.
O meant i don’t care. It was kind of like saying K or cool. It’s like saying you’re stupid, bye. At the time, I just thought about how stupid Noelle was because she obviously didn’t get it. I mean I bet there’s so many other girls doing this. I was just glad that it was Friday and it was just me and Four all weekend.
When I got home, I did the usual, and started looking at all of Four’s updates. I was so excited to see that Four was announcing a USA tour. I was so happy. I imagined being in the crowd, and reaching to touch Jesse, Justin, Steven, and Josh. I got tingly just thinking about it and I went a little crazy in my seat. I clicked on the link that led to the website for tickets. I definitely had to get the VIP package. So I clicked on the link and saw that they were only $500! Wow, this is definitely a good price, especially since that night Justin will realize that me and him are meant to be. Its going to be like Train. The lead singer liked a girl in the crowd and told security to go and get her. They’re married now. It’s probably gonna go that way! Should I take anyone to the concert with me? Noelle? Nah, I’d rather have them all to myself. Well, might as well order these right now.
Without hesitation, I grabbed my dad’s credit card and ran to my parents room where the desktop computer was. I typed the link into the search bar at the top. It seemed like five hundred words long, and I messed up at least 5 times, but I didn’t even care. I finally got to the website and ordered the tickets.
I didn’t really think much of using my dads credit card. So when they called me into their room to talk to me about it, I obviously acted like a little brat. Now that I look back on it, I just feel really embarrassed about how I acted. When I look at them now, I just feel bad for them, because they have to deal with me. When I heard them call my name I got angry. Honestly, I didn’t know what they wanted, but still, I got annoyed.
“Ughhhh, what do they want,” I groaned, standing up.
“Carol!”
“I’m on my way! Can’t you wait for a little bit?” I yelled.
“what?” I barked, standing in the doorway, annoyed.
“what the heck is this?!” exclaimed my dad, his eyes glued to the computer screen.
“Uhm, what the heck does it look like,” I mocked, rolling my eyes “Concert tickets, duh. It’s not rocket science.”
“One ticket to see Four, for 500 dollars? Carol, what’s wrong with you? We’re barely paying the rent! What are you thinking? I thought you understood this! It’s hard-earned cash, its not just anything! Your mother and I actually have to work for this”
“Oh my gosh, are you serious? It’s nothing, ” I replied, scrolling through Four’s updates on my phone. “ Don’t you think I deserve this?”
“Yes, honey, but we don't have the money t-”
“Just stop making a big deal out of all this. Stop giving me the same speech. Just stop.” I responded.
“ You just don’t get it, Carol” she explained, losing her patience, “ were cancelling this.”
What the hell. I screamed and left the room. I didn't even say anything. I was really angry. The things going through my head were terrible.
Wow, my parents are so freaking stupid! What’s wrong with them, seriously!? They ruin everything, all of my plans. I need this. Whatever, I’m not talking to them, like ever again! Never. I won’t forget this. I don’t even like them, it’s not like I need them anyways, they could totally go jump off like a cliff.
I spent the night, thinking about all of this, and the next day too. I do feel a bit dumb. My mother came into my room, and I was still trying to give her the silent treatment, but I kind of just knew I was wrong, and it didn't last. She sat on the edge of my bed and just asked one question. What is so special about Four. I didn’t even know how to answer. I claimed these boys were my life, but I couldn’t answer this simple question.I didn’t know. I looked up at the posters on my wall. I only have two. I only liked Four because all the members were super hot! After this went through my mind, I kind of tried lying to myself about how I actually liked them, but that didn’t work this time.
“You need to stop living in this little world where all that exists is Four, because in real life, there’s definitely more than them. Life isn’t all about these four really good-looking guys. I think they’re ugly, actually. Look at that blond one, he has a butt-chin,” she paused for a minute, then looked back up at me, “look at your hair, honey. Do you honestly like it?”
No.
“You’re pushing people away for these boys you don’t know. They might be jerks, you never know. I haven’t seen Noelle, around.”
I stayed quiet. I remembered not answering my cell phone just to listen to that stupid ringtone. I didn’t even know the words to that dumb song, I would just hum along to it. Then I remembered turning Noelle down when she asked if I wanted to go to the mall with her, she was even going to pay for my food! I realized how dumb I am.
“Carol, just think about it” My mom requested, hopeful
“No, yeah, I got it mom.” I replied.
“Are you saying this so I’ll leave you alone?” she replied, surprised,
“No mom, I totally get it. I’ve been thinking about all of this, and I can see that it was just a stupid phase, and as fast as it started, is as fast as it ended. It came out of nowhere, I was suddenly obsessed with Four, and now I suddenly don’t care anymore. I’m just glad it’s over and that it only lasted two weeks.”