The Unthinkable | Teen Ink

The Unthinkable

January 20, 2015
By Joelle12345 BRONZE, Brookfield, Wisconsin
Joelle12345 BRONZE, Brookfield, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

“How do you think we could have solved this in an easier way… let’s see, Maya?” I suddenly realized my snotty math teacher was actually asking me this question, and decided I should probably make something up quick.
“Uh, I don’t know, add it to the other side first?” She seemed to think my idea was quite bright or least decent, so I went back to daydreaming. I looked over at Leah sitting next to me, who was scribbling down what seemed like every word Ms. Parker said. She always seems to be enthusiastic with everything she does, from simply walking her dog, to even doing her homework. I honestly don’t know how we are best friends, considering her free time is spent reading, while mine is spent sitting in front of the TV. Somehow, we seem to just get each other.
When the bell finally run, I poked Leah on the shoulder and asked her what she was doing this weekend. I would’ve texted her in class, but Ms. Parker has been super picky about us using our phones lately.
“Not much,” she said, “Maybe we can hang out Saturday night or something.” I knew by or something that she meant we would get together at my house for our usually frozen pizza, popcorn, and chick flick. We both knew what my answer was to that.
After wishing her a good weekend, I fast-walked to my locker, keeping in mind I had a bus to catch. The bus drivers were always more antsy to leave on a Friday night so they could be done with their job. Not thinking, I stuffed my backpack with my history textbook, old water bottle, and hat and gloves, but only remembered that I needed my bulky math book for a Monday test after I closed my locker. And by that time, of course, it was too late.
After dodging a few straggling students in the hallway, I finally made it to the front doors on my way out. Before this point, I never really knew what -10 degrees felt like. But, as I pushed open the second set of doors, a gust of wind rushed in and slapped me across the face, with what felt like an icicle. For the first time that day I noticed how dark it was outside, almost like a heavy blanket was laid on top of the earth as if to close us off from the rest of the universe. Thick chunks of snow were spiraling down from the sky on this freezing December afternoon, and I could tell there were mysterious spots of dangerous ice when I almost fell. I was struggling to even make it to the frozen door of the bus through the bitter cold, demanding winds, and blinding snow. If only I wore my hat and gloves.

***

My parents were always trying to be too close to me. They never seemed to get the hint that I really didn’t want them to be my friend. “Honey, your father and I will be driving Gracie to her birthday party soon. Is it alright if we eat dinner around 6:30? I’m making your favorite, chili with noodles!” my Mom asked, as if I cared. As sisters, Gracie and I used to play together all the time when we were little, but now we barely see each other around the house.
“Sure, ma,” I replied, being disinterested, and quickly plopped on the couch for some TV, avoiding the talk about how my day went. Dad and Gracie came downstairs, and I tried really hard to show them I’m not in the mood to talk. Maybe if I just pretend they aren't even there, they wouldn’t see me.
On their way outside to drive in the snowy tundra, I gave in and returned a sloppy wave goodbye as I trudged upstairs to my room, not thinking about much besides giving Leah a call. Little did I know, that would be the last time I would ever hear my family’s words.

***

“Your family, they got in a car accident. I’m sorry, sweetie, they didn’t make it.” These peculiar words did not mean anything to my dumbfounded brain. I sat there, breathless, unable to blink. It must have been obvious to the police officers by looking at my face that I did not register anything they had just told me. As they sat in my living room that night, they explained what happened. They said my father drove on black ice, lost control of steering, and flipped off of the road. Dad, Mom and Gracie… they all died on the scene.
My face was motionless. I felt my head begin to throb as I was trying to comprehend what was going on. All I could hear was they didn’t make it, I’m sorry, they didn’t make it. My stomach churned, and I felt as though I would throw up. After minutes of silence, the words finally began to sink in. I could think… somewhat. What does this mean? There’s no way they all just died like that! How can a teenager possibly live a life without a family? What’s worse?
Memories began to flow through my brain as I was realizing what I had lost. I remember competing with Gracie when we were young on who could hold their breath longer underwater at grandma’s pool. And after Gracie and I built snowmen outside during the winter, we would cuddle up with our toasty blankets at home and sip hot chocolate that Mom made us for hours. I can remember when Dad first taught me how to ride a bike when I was seven, and when I fell and scraped my knee, he worked as fast as he could to clean me up, as if he was the best doctor. My Mom held my hand the entire time, and her warm palm and assuring smile made me relaxed. I trusted her.
But, this was gone. Everything, just gone. No more memories to make. No more laughter. I would never be able to teach Gracie about high school. Dad could no longer pat me on the back when I needed encouragement. I will never smell Mom’s fresh, homemade blueberry pie again. And now, I will never hear my family’s voices calling Bye Maya!

***

It has been 3 months now since my family’s accident. Ever since then, I have grown so much I feel like a totally different person. Losing Mom, Dad, and Gracie has made me realize how much I actually loved them, even though most times I didn’t show it.
On that Friday night of their accident, I wish I was nicer. I wish that instead of blatantly ignoring them, I actually showed interest in talking with them. If only I could tell them how sorry I am and how badly I now want to just be around my family. But, my mom always told me to look on the bright side and to stay as positive as possible. And, this is the situation in life that I was given, and it’s never going to be undone, so might as well make the best of it.
This has made me want to love on others now, like my grandma. She has always had a hobby of baking and asks me every time she bakes if I want to join her. I used to always respond with a shoulder shrug and moan. But one day, I gave it a try, and figured I had nothing to lose. Grandma taught me how to crack eggs perfectly, press the fancy buttons on the mixer, measure ingredients, and even decorate our desserts. I soon realized that I was baking with Grandma almost every weekend, and it quickly became my favorite hobby, as well. Rather than lounging on the couch doing nothing productive, I now spend time with my Grandma, talking, laughing, and making a mess.
Leah and I seem to be spending a lot more time together, too. One time I asked her how I can be more diligent in school, because I figured my parents would be proud. Her face lit up as soon as I asked, and I could tell that she was basically proud of me. Ms. Parker, my math teacher, doesn’t seem to bother me that much anymore. My mind used to be cluttered with thoughts about how harsh and grumpy she was, but now I’ve found things in her that I like, like her love of Mickey Mouse. I never saw her countless amount of posters on the back wall until I forced myself to look around. Mickey Mouse has always been my favorite, and I guess Ms. Parker’s, too. It has given me more respect for her, knowing that she is more than just a grouchy lady.
I guess sometimes when bad things happen in life, there’s usually good that comes from it. If my family hadn’t died, I would not have become close with my grandma, and math class would be even more of a drag. I’ve realized sometimes life gives us terrible things to teach us a lesson or remind us how we really want to live. Like my mom always said, persevere through the hard times, then enjoy what’s good.


The author's comments:

This article was written to reinforce the fact that life is a fragile thing and can easily be snatched away from us. This is why we need to treat every day like it is our last, and I hope the reader can get a sense of this through Maya in my story.


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