You know that moment in a situation when you realize that the problem is eating you alive? That moment when you are so lost, that you don't even trust yourself to know the difference between right and wrong anymore? It's like you have two general options, and  those two options have about twenty varitations to choose from. And you can't even decide between the two options, let alone a variation. And one moment you say yes, and the next you say no. This problem is destroying you, and the people around you don't get it at all, no matter how many times you try to explain. And in the dark, in your empty room, you say yes, even though you know deep down that you will never be able to go through with it, you say yes anyways. Because that's what everyone else wants to hear. So in the dark, with all your bad, dark thoughts, you say yes. But that is at night; in the daytime things are different. Awake, moving, breathing, around people, in the light, you say no. You want to do the right thing. So the answer is no. You have two friends; one supports the yes, the other supports the no. But neither support you. One friend knows heartbreak, the other knows you. But that doesn't change anything. You are alone in this. Always alone. And it seems that the only person who could help is the one you are running from. And this isn't a problem you can just hide from, that won't make it disappear, because it already knows all your hiding spots. And no one gets what you're saying, no one understands the conflict that is going on inside of you. And you understand, now, those people who drink, and smoke, and use drugs to run away from their problems, you understand because all you want to do is forget, too. And this problem has occured before, but you were just a bystander then, and you laughed at how stupid the participants seemed, because you thought that this was a simple fix. But there is no simple fix for this. And you know that now. But you can't take back what you once said, just like you can't remove yourself from this situation, because you are in the heart and soul of this problem. And then, suddenly, you realize you are the problem. If only you just would say yes, this could all be over. But it is still daylight out, so you are still stuck saying no, terrified that this problem will never end, and that you are currently living what is and always will be your future. And knowing that kills you.