Once upon a time in a place called school otherwise known as a juvenile purgatory, there was a little girl whom was very petite and small for her age. Everyone she came across had some opinion on her size, opinions in which she thought were positive, but in fact they were just insults hidden behind a fake smile. Upon realization of what her "friends" were doing to her she began to crack. She just kept cracking, and cracking, and cracking until she was the glass of a shattered phone. Everyday she cried and cried when no one was looking because all of her cracking had left her open for a bacteria to enter in her. The bacteria grew and grew under the cover of darkness until it finally turned into a virus. A virus that is invisible to the naked eye and tears one up from the inside. Ripping out any feeling that is currently in the soul and replacing it with a dark pit of anger, anguish and despair. She couldn't understand why she got stuck with it, and she tried so hard to ignore it for as long as possibly could. Luckily for the little girl she made friends and they told her that everything was gonna be alright, causing her to be able to persevere through the bullying, forget her virus, and make it out alive. Her largest bridge had finally been crossed. The bullying had ended and just in time for middle school. 6th grade. The beginning of a new 3 part chapter of the young girl's life. New experiences, old friends, new friends, new teachers, new things to learn, and above all else a new and fresh start from the terrible dive she had in elementary school.


But if anyone who's anyone knows what a virus is, they'd know that they always come back. Unfortunately, not all was fine and dandy as she hoped it would be for the rest of her days. Yes she had new experiences, but none were positive. Some of her old friends came back to save her from herself, but most of her friends whom she cherished more than she cherished her own life...were leaving her causing her to break down. She even found a new friend. She wanted more, many more, but for her it was "One friend who actually gave a crap about her existence was better than all of those jerks who mocked her for who she was." He was the light of her life, and he was the one thing that kept her going in her dark days, which was pretty much every day. She loved him to the moon and back, but he sadly did not feel the same. The love she had for him was an internal and possibly eternal infatuation. His love was more like a brotherly type of love instead of a relationship type. Eventually, she realized that it was better that he loved her in the brotherly type of way then him just plain old not loving her at all.

Her teachers were amazing and she liked each and everyone of them, no matter what she said to her "friends." Soon even her teachers were starting to catch on to the fact that everyday she was getting skinnier and the circles under her eyes were getting darker and darker. She was drifting farther and farther away from what was considered normal and average, and was entering what was considered horrific science fiction to the point where she barely even looked human at all. The ways of learning for her was always simplistic and beautiful, academically at least. Life-lesson learning was more of a mental struggle, and less of a simplistic bliss than she had hoped.

Every time the cruel and unforgiving creatures called life, and reality came for a visit she always shut the door on them. Twas only then that she realized that was causing another whole entire world of problems. She had contracted the virus again, the constant sadness came back and it came with a new found mental disease. Depression is what they labeled it. But that's exactly what it was, a label. For how could they understand what it was that she was going through when she herself didn't even understand. No matter how hard anybody else tried to help she would curl up and hide back behind her wall where nothing was clear, but then again somehow, it came about that everything was. Her wall was a happy place for her... Well not happy but it was like a happy place just completely take out the word happy. It was more like eternal closet where she could shut her doors, a place where she could go when she wanted to think.


Unfortunately that's what was killing her, her thoughts. Her constant sadness that the idiots at the "Mental Hospital" which was a nice way of saying "A place where we send people who we think are going to become psychopathic murders when they grow up or hurt themselves in an act for attention.” But she wasn't psycho. She was just, disturbed. Mentally ill. But she wasn't like the typical “Oh look over here! Mental nutcase on the loose running around naked screaming Hail Satan,” type of mentally ill, she was just upset, Permanently upset with everything that was anything. It was unfair, then again everything was unfair to her. Her life was unfair, school was unfair, society was unfair, her friends were unfair, her “friends” were unfair, and above all else she herself, was unfair.

Everyday she was looking for solitude behind her walls but could never find what she was looking for. She was always searching and searching for what her heart yearned for, but every time she went looking. She could never find it. Her heart ached for something… But she had no idea what it was or where to find it. It was a craving that she couldn't remove from her life. A craving that turned into a starvation, a deprivation. But even that eventually just turned into nothing, just like everything else. She searched for anything that could make her feel… It didn't even have to be happiness, but it would've been nice if that's what she found. She then began searching for what could make her feel again, but just like all humans of this world she failed, and she had given up looking for whatever it was she was searching for.

As the days grew longer,the nights grew darker, and her happiness became obsolete, all she could think about was what wrong with her. MPD, Depression, her size, her looks. Her. Everything was wrong, so why should she be perfect? “There's no such thing” she thought over and over again… and then it hit her. It hit like a tsunami hitting land for the first time. This was her trigger, she had finally had enough. She was sick yes, but this wasn't an excuse for all the negativity and all the harsh word/actions that she was receiving was her “friends.” It was the final straw for her. It's said that their is a dark before the dawn, but in her case, she wasn't gonna find it now.



She had painted on her most fragile canvass of all. Her wrists. It only hurt for a second but that was before she realized what she did. The second she realized what had happened, it stung like a thousand wasp stings. It wasn't the physical type of sting, after all she had been hurt before. How was this any different? What she wasn't realizing was the fact that she had cut open her own skin in an attempt to feel better. She opened up herself, in a way that none of her classmates could ever dream of doing. Unfortunately where there are one, many more will follow. And before she knew it one turned into 2, which turned into 4, and so on.

“What is this feeling?” She asked herself over and over again. But no matter how many times she asked herself that, she couldn't find the answer. Her mind had though. Her mind's answer was “It's an addiction, like smoking a poisonous drug and becoming hooked. So you know what that means…” She then sat down on her bed, and began to continue following what her mind said. Cutting over, and over, and over again until she couldn't feel her arm anymore. Eventually after this she couldn't feel anything. Not even pain, it's like she was officially a brick wall. A wall with no feeling, a wall that just won't come down.

She shed a tear, then made a tear. Next thing you know they were everywhere. There were promises that were not kept, and that felt like walking upstairs barefoot, However glass was placed on every step. She was falling apart at the seams, and no one could hear her silent screams. She went on saying it's okay like everything was fine, but the sad and depressing truth was buried under all her lies. The deep truth that no one saw, that no one cared enough to ask about. She beared the scars, both mental and physical. She showed the signs, on the inside and out. She wore the colors, the red and the black. But no one came to get her off this dark path. She sat all alone wondering and thinking, but little did she know she was slowly breaking. She couldn't keep going on like this you see. For as she kept going she was slowly disappearing. Disappearing into the darkness, that would consume her thoughts and take her whole.

“This isn't fair! Why does it have to be this way! Who ever passed this along had no love and appreciation for, ANYTHING! This isn't right! What happened to equality among everyone! What happened to freedom! Everyone deserves their right, so why is it that I am reprimanded of those rights! All I wanted was to be normal…”

And that's when it hit her. Normal. She could never be normal, even in the what now seemed like far past, she was never normal. Even when her parents were always joking around with her they would say that she wasn't normal. She had tried all her life to be the perfect human being, perfectly sized, perfectly shaped, perfectly weighed, and just all around perfect. But she could never be perfect, she had a disease. A disease that she didn't understand, and that her parents had ignored. Unfortunately she was bearing the side effects on her arm. The nasty and permanent side effects of a very horrendous, and life-ending disease that she was slowly letting tear her apart on the inside and on the out too.

While she sat and thought that she had no friends. Their was one who sat on his own wishing that she would notice him. Wishing that she would know that he cared. It was all he really wanted from her. He wanted her to be okay. It was all he yearned for. He was willing to go through any means, and was willing to go to extreme measures just to insure her safety. All he wanted was the non-disease filled little girl that he had known from the beginning. The little girl that he had fallen in love with. But alas she dismissed his feelings. Even when he told her again and again and again how he felt in regards to her. She said “Okay” but she acted like what he said meant nothing. She acted as though he was just a human plaything that she could alter to her will. Time and time again she messed with his feelings, drove him to near insanity, and tried to drive him away. Time and time again she pushed his limits, time and time again she hurt his feelings, and time and time again she drove him a little farther away.

Sanctuary. She always went to sanctuary. When she walked in she felt welcome and loved by all. She was greeted by smiling faces, warm embraces, and so much positivity the people residing there, might regurgitate rainbows. Her best friend was there. He was always waiting for her in sanctuary. She was happy when she was with him, they were happy together. No judgement, no angry ridiculous teenagers with no sense of respect, no bullies, no sadness, and no labels. It was all happy, all the time. Relief always found her soon after her visits. But after one day that all changed.

“War.” She thought silently to herself in her dark cold bedroom of sorrows “the most destructive and useless creation of all time. Men firing their single metal alloy cylinders comprised of lead, copper, brass, bronze, steel, and aluminum at other men, women and children. And for what? Because they disagree on political views? Or religious disputes because humans can't learn to apprehend the concept of freedom of religion? For revenge? Because one country decided to commit a mass genocide? It's funny the way war works in the real world… It certainly doesn't work out that way in one's mindscape.”

There she was in her dark, cold, and clammy room sitting all alone in the corner with one singular led light shining as bright as a star from her tiny desk lamp. She was drifting from herself again, losing her contact with the human realm and entering the mindscape. Darkness covered the light bulb like storm clouds cover the sun. She was there, standing in the darkness all alone with no one to call out to for help. The darkness then lightened a tiny amount to reveal a battlefield. On one side was the darkness, shadowy figures that could be considered simple “nightmares” or “figments of one’s imagination” but in actuality were more like living and breathing terrors, in the form of the incubus and succubus. Standing on the opposite side is the little girl, she has a tiny little rainbow flag with the word “positivity” plastered in bright bold colored letters. She stands up proud and tall waving her tiny flag and fast as she can to hopefully get the Lilin-demons residing in her mindscape to leave the premises. Unfortunately it didn't work. The Lilin-demons charge forward in a fiery rage with intent to kill. Behind the demons are a tiny squadron of 45 actual shadow men, who were created with the sole purpose to break the little girl's mind, spirit, and body by any means necessary. The shadow men pull out cannons that spew darkness, and set them down and aims their sights right at the little girl. There is nothing she can do, it's over for her now. Inside the mindscape she slowly fades away, with the last thing going through her head are the words “It'll finally be over now” as soon as the shadow men fire CRACK. Her body drops down off of the chair, hanging. Slowly spinning around in a circle with her almost ghostly pale skin complexion, and newly found fractured neck. Her only friend came running up the stairs, tears falling down his face and he frantically dials 911 into his cellphone.

“911 what is your emergency?” The operator said.

“M-my friend. She, she..We need an ambulance.” He said shaking violently with every syllable that escaped his mouth.

“Sir, I'm going to need you to calm down and speak clearly. What is your location?”

“1816 Mireya street, in Galvan Township. Please hurry, I fear she isn't going to make it much longer in these conditions.”

“We have dispatch sending an ambulance to your location, it should be there within 5 minutes. We encourage you not to hang up, so that we ca-”

“I'm sorry lady. Needed to hang up, I need to be with her. Why? Why would you do this you stupid little girl? You idiot, you idiot.. Why? You're leaving me.. I don't want you to leave!” He shouted while pulling her close to him “I want you here… With me. We were supposed to go to college together. Now what? I'm losing my only friend.. This isn't fair. Why didn't you tell me something was wrong!”

“I..” She tried to speak, but after a word her voice was lost. She was losing her pulse.. She was getting paler by the second. If this continued any longer, she was going to die in his arms. While she was dying on the outside, she was fighting for her life in the mindscape. Doing everything she can to stop the shadow men, and the Lilin-demons. But she isn't doing every well. They are kicking her, punching her, shooting at her with cannons, pistols, sniper rifles. Everything they have. And all she has is a little brightly colored flag. She is spinning her flag furiously to try and get the demons to flee but it doesn't work, they keep pounding on her. Hitting harder with every punch, and stabbing deeper with every incision. She's losing the fight. And with one final wave of her colored flag, she drops it to the floor and lies on the ground. The battlefield, the demons, the shadow men all fade away. And leave her, and her flag sitting alone. Consumed by darkness. Slowly, her flag goes from bright to dark, fading away just as slowly as she was. With ¾ of her body having completely dissipated and faded away she shed one final tear. Slowly it rolled down her left cheek, and hit the ground. The second it made contact she was gone.

“Where is she!” He shouted while running towards her room. When he found it, he stopped dead in his tracks. Baffled. Not a single tear was shed in that room except for his. No remorse was show, no one was upset by her departure. “What happened!” He yelled at her mother with rage slowly filling up his insides. “What did you fools do!”

“We had to pull the plug.” Her mother stated calmly and with no expression on her face, “she was brain dead my boy, there was nothing we could do. She was of no use anymore, she would've only been a detriment to us, she was dying anyway. It's her own fault.” She then laid her hand upon his shoulder.

A fiery rage was pictured in his eyes as he jerked his shoulder away, “Detriment! Is that how you saw your daughter! The daughter you raised, your own flesh and blood a detriment!!!” He clenched his fist, then slowly opened his hands, and turned to face the girl. “You said you were going to the restroom.. Marie why..” He whispered, tears starting to well up in his eyes. Just as he was about to walk out of Marie's cold hospital room, he looked over at her lifeless body lying in her death bed one last time. He shut the door slowly and walked out looking down at the note she had written. Neatly printed in the center of the paper in red pen were the words, “I'm sorry.” As he walked away in silence, a single tear rolled down his face as he said “I am too.”

THE END