My eyes were closed the whole time. I could feel my heart racing and my palms sweating. “Laura, just relax,” I heard. I am not quite sure who said it because my eyes remained  closed and I was holding my breath. I feel myself turning blue and I open my eyes. Sitting in a hospital room with a dying grandfather is not fun. “Laura, that is your name… right?” the nurse asked me. I nod my head yes. “How'd you know?” I questioned. “Your grandfather talks about you a lot. He says you're bright- like a star. I smile.
   While leaving the hospital, I feel unsure of my decisions. I do not know if I should go through with my plan. It is all to save my grandfather of course. I am only stabbing a hole into my soul to save his. His presence is the light that keeps me sane and he can not be just a memory. Time is slipping and I do not feel okay. I can not feel okay knowing he is not okay. I am bright, he says. I am weak, I say. I can not just let him go but I can not risk losing all.
   My lips go numb. I am doing it. It has to be done. He is suffering. I can not let him feel this pain. But what if I am caught? I could be arrested. I could be killed. This is all for the man I adore so much. This is all for the man who means so much more than the world to me.
   Looking in retrospect, things could have been different. I could have been a better granddaughter. I could have blown his coffee more often. I could have bought him more Christmas gifts. I could have remembered his birthday more often rather than remembering after seeing his birthday cards. The trips to the store that was 2 miles away were too fast. We could have spent more time walking there, picking out what we needed and then walked back home slowly. The conversations we had could have been deeper. We used to talk about the effects of diseases and cancer. We always wanted to fight to find a cure but look at us now. I am fighting for my own life. I am fighting to remember everything I can before he turns into star dust. His body will fly and never return to see me again.
   I close my eyes once more. I am willing to do this to benefit the both of us. I will dress in black and prepare myself. Sneaking around will be the hard part. Cameras in focus all pointing towards me. I will be the threat. The threat threatening the disease in my grandfather’s body. I will be the threat tonight.
   I reopen my eyes. The deed has been done. I feel a cold rush flowing through my body. I feel my phone vibrate. I tap the screen and pick up the call. “Laura… I am terribly sorry for your lost.” My heart stops.