His stomach was in knots, it felt like an endless string of yarn tangling and weaving together, every step that he took a new one was formed. It wasn’t something that usually happened to him, it wasn’t something he hadn’t done a million times, but no amount of rationalization had been able to calm the tidal wave in his chest. His breath quickened, his steps grew shorter, he knew he was wasting time, he knew that no matter how long he put this off, it would just torture him more in the end. He knew that with the finality of his beating heart, but still it felt like he was jumping off a skyscraper, and his parachute lever was gone, it felt like his body was plummeting to the ground only the air keeping him from dying on the cement. It was his biggest fear, it was his only wish, it was the whisper on his lips as he slept. It was the sweat that clung to his skin as he ran; his thoughts running as fast as his feet.

So here he was, stuck in a fantasy, stuck thinking about the things that will never be, things that can’t ever be he walked to nowhere in particular, he knew what he had to do, even if his legs felt as if they would buckle beneath the weight of the world on his shoulders. His world, but still a world. So he walked, and walked to the point he wasn’t really sure where he was, not that it mattered, the knots in stomach began to untie themselves every step further, the anxiety that flowed through his veins, never really seemed to subside. He knew that he could only go so far, he knew the minute he left that there would be consequences would weigh him even further down. So he blocked the meteor shower, called thoughts out. Here he was thinking of how much of a coward he was, how long he had denied every warning sign, how ignorance was better than the truth. He knew that no matter how badly it hurt him, no matter what she had done no matter what, that what the promise was. He promised that no matter what he’d be there, he’d support everything she did and everything she was. He hated what he knew his life would be without her. He-

“You look lost.”  He was startled, he hadn’t even realized he’d stopped walking, he didn’t know how long he was leaning against the railing, he didn’t even know where he was, he took in the landscape around him, the gray clouds still danced in the sky, teasing the storm that was welling above them, the trees swayed- their emerald leaves rattling with it, there was lake behind him, the semi-clear water moved with the little drops plopping against the surface, it was scenic, silent, even with the wind roaring whipping his hair in every which way, it felt like the world had stopped around him, it was a desolate wasteland other than this woman and himself of course.

“And what does a lost person look like?” he asked with more edge then he intended. Her hair looked like cinnamon and sugar, it was a brown of sorts or it used to be, it was streaked with bone white, it was like like looking at Rogue from x-men fifty years later. She was about average height, wrinkles lined her eyes she was a woman who he could tell had lived, known things, done things. He didn’t know why, but it was comforting, in one way or another.

“Well, you look like you have no idea where you are, but you also don’t really seem to care. Which would be fine, normally I would leave whiny teenage boys alone to wallow in their own self-pity if it wasn’t for the storm coming,” she said.

“I’m not wallowing in anything. I’m just walking, it’s none of your concern what I do or don’t do.” He said venom lacing his words.

“I can’t imagine being as arrogant as a boy who just had his heart broken, I can’t imagine what it is that you're going through exactly, I just know in my 60 years of living, what loss and cracked and broken spirits look like. I don’t care about your situation, as much as I care that you’re not here in this storm that’s about to hit. I know you look like a lost puppy with a broken heart, but if you don’t get somewhere safe, you’ll be a lost puppy with pneumonia-”

she paused, breaking her soul-crushing gaze.

“I get that it feels like, nothing will change, that this feels like all your life will ever be, it feels permanent, but it isn’t. Life is the most temporary thing there is, there’s no such thing as forever, not even for stones, eventually everything withers and weathers away even sand disappears, with nothing more than a thought. We’re a millisecond of time, in the midst of eons and vast rivers of time, we live as milliseconds, nothing more than whispers in the air; make yours count, boy.” she breathed in one deep slow breath and looked up from the lake, his body felt numb beneath her words, the weight of them never really hitting him completely, he knew if they did, he would be crushed.

“I’ll be fine.” was all he could say, as he spun on his heel turning back the way he had come, he loosed a breath he didn’t know he was holding in, all he could do was think, he had no idea who that woman was, he didn’t know what to say to her, he didn’t know if he would even thank her, all he knew was that he’d let someone in, he knew that he did exactly what he said he never would, he fell in love. His biggest fear, he let her in. His whole life he’d seen deceit, distrust, and betrayal, he’d seen what love had done, he’d seen what cheating did to a person, he’d watched his mother become the shell of a person that she’d used to be, because she loved his father, because even though he hurt her, time and time again, she loved him despite it all, and it broke every piece of her spirit along the way. He promised himself that he wouldn’t fall in love, and along the way she broke down every wall he put up, she broke him down and she broke his heart and he let her.

He let this fear that pulsed through his bloodstream lead him to god knows where he still wasn’t quite sure where he was, his surroundings were unfamiliar, nothing but swaying trees, and long grass, and the road beneath his feet. The old woman was right, the storm was moving fast, the wind grew faster and colder, it whipped around his face, entwining through his fingers, even if his black hood covered his head he felt the cold trickle down his neck. He felt the blood rush to his cheeks, the gentle drops of rain falling atop his head, the soft patter on the street and his own footsteps were the only things he heard as he walked. He felt his heart race, he felt the yarn begin to tangle itself again, the little knots growing with each heartbeat. Each little piece of reality setting in slowly, each bit weighing him down. The rain started to fall harder, the drops coming down faster, his clothes gradually became heavier as he walked further and further, closer to the problem, closer to her, or what was left of them. There was a hollowness in his chest, he wasn’t sure if it would ever stop aching, he wasn’t sure if he would ever feel whole again. He wasn’t sure if it mattered. Maybe nothing did anymore.