Red as Coals, Black as Night Prologue | Teen Ink

Red as Coals, Black as Night Prologue

June 1, 2010
By OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch


Her feet pounded the streets made of the wide, aqua blue and purple rocks Afalia was famous for. As her urgent footsteps echoed around the narrow alley, she couldn’t have cared less about the beautiful rocks. She couldn’t care about anything but the nearly invisible sound of her pursuer’s footsteps, unheard unless you knew they were there.
As she rounded the corner, her heart stopped. She had come to a dead end. On her left and right were houses, in front of her was an immense, blue stone wall, at least twenty feet high, and behind her was the narrow alley her pursuer walked down calmly at that very moment.
She looked around frantically. There was nothing, nothing to move. The small corner was spotlessly clean and hopelessly empty, except for a few giant rats hiding in the shadows.
Then, all of a sudden, he was there. The man who had chased her all the way from the main square, six miles from here.
But was he a man? He was a giant, around nine feet tall. His entire body was covered by billowing robes. A large cowl obscured his face. But as she stared intently at his shadowed head, she saw something. Glowing like the brightest coals in a high-burning fire, pure red eyes shone through the blackness. They were so unerringly red, so impossibly bright…And then something else glinted in the darkness, something silver. A silver dagger with a beautiful, shining black hilt with a large sapphire embedded in it. He tilted the dagger so the waning, red and orange light glinted off the blade.
She screeched, eyes widening in terror. “What are you?” she cried hoarsely. The creature was advancing quickly. As a surge of fear swept through her, it occurred to her to try to move the rats. Suddenly, she felt a sharp, biting pain in her neck, and her vision began to grow hazy. Through the fog she saw three of the cat-sized rats flying at the creature, spitting their rage. It snapped its neck toward the rats and suddenly, they fell to the ground, mildly stunned. Once they had recovered, they scurried into the shadows. The shadows…
Cold breath, smelling of mint, meat, and smoke stung her burning cheek. His lips were mere inches from her ear. “Sorry ma’am,” he murmured, “Just doing my job.” And then, Ojilia passed into the peaceful oblivion of death.


The author's comments:
The prologue itself is not romance, but the story it is a prologue for is, so I categorized it as that.

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This article has 87 comments.


on Jul. 8 2010 at 8:35 pm
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 430 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)

This prologue definitely caught my attention. It makes me want to read more and find out what that thing was.

 

Also: I love the weird name, Ojilia. :P


on Jul. 7 2010 at 11:06 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

It's no problem:)

We-R-3 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 7 2010 at 9:58 pm
We-R-3 BRONZE, Orlando, Florida
1 article 0 photos 344 comments

Favorite Quote:
A picture is worth a thousand words, however it takes a real artist to turn words into pictures.

Have you heard about the new Lebron Iphone, you have to set it on vibrate because it doesn't have any rings

okay I gotcha. That explains a lot. I don't really read prolouges, so I dont know much about them.

on Jul. 6 2010 at 8:52 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Lol, I love to think of there being background music when I say or type something dramatic or anything like that:)And while I know the prologue doesn't make sense, the point of the prologue is to catch your interest and lead you into the story, the readers make their own assumptions in the prolouge that are either proven or disproven in the actual story.

We-R-3 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 6 2010 at 8:42 pm
We-R-3 BRONZE, Orlando, Florida
1 article 0 photos 344 comments

Favorite Quote:
A picture is worth a thousand words, however it takes a real artist to turn words into pictures.

Have you heard about the new Lebron Iphone, you have to set it on vibrate because it doesn't have any rings

Hmm the characteres are very alive however I do not understand what is happeninig, i look forward into finding the answers in Chapter one. (Awesome Backround music) Woohoo

on Jul. 3 2010 at 1:03 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thank you!  Yeah, I'm pretty visual too, that's why I try to describe things as vividly as possible.

courteycat said...
on Jul. 3 2010 at 11:40 am
courteycat, Lompoc, California
0 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
interesting...

I Love it. It was amazing and you really can visualize whats happening in your head which I am partically good at. Amazing keep writing :D

on Jul. 2 2010 at 8:02 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thank you!:)

LeahD GOLD said...
on Jul. 2 2010 at 6:16 pm
LeahD GOLD, Tepito, Other
16 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him -Voltaire

This is amazing, and very well written! I like it a lot ;D

on Jun. 30 2010 at 10:06 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thank you:)And I know the prologue isn't very descriptive, but it just enters into the story, the rest of it is more descriptive.

on Jun. 30 2010 at 9:55 pm
AwaitingRescue SILVER, Butte, Montana
9 articles 2 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
It takes both rain and shine to make a rainbow.

You had alot of details, but you can use more. What did the character/corner/giant/city look/smell/feel like? Still, great story :)

on Jun. 28 2010 at 2:56 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thank you:)

on Jun. 28 2010 at 9:08 am
starxoxo23 PLATINUM, New Hampshire, New Hampshire
21 articles 0 photos 97 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself."
- Alan Alda

Great work! I really like this (:

on Jun. 27 2010 at 3:52 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thank you!  Glad you like it:)

MeganHearton said...
on Jun. 27 2010 at 8:58 am
MeganHearton, San Franciso, California
0 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The best thing about life, is doing things, toher people say you can't do," - Anonymous

This story absolutely blew me away! This is terrific!

on Jun. 25 2010 at 8:47 am
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thank you!:)That's really nice

on Jun. 24 2010 at 11:45 pm
littleleyah SILVER, Ozona, Texas
9 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When one doesnt belive nothing good can com from that." (ME!))

very well written although i couldnt stop reading it i just wanted to tell you try to get a better cliff hanger other than that i was blown away I have no idea why they didnt publish your work!

on Jun. 24 2010 at 5:28 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

:)Yeah.  Sometimes, the prologue is an excerpt from the story that gets them interested, and sometimes it sort of enters them into it.  Mine is the second type.

yellowbunny said...
on Jun. 24 2010 at 4:39 pm
yellowbunny, Windsor, Vermont
0 articles 0 photos 23 comments
I never thought about it that way but that's so true!

on Jun. 24 2010 at 9:52 am
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thanks!  I think that in the prologue, the reader is supposed to make their own assumptions, which can be either proved or disproved in the story.