Red as Coals, Black as Night Prologue | Teen Ink

Red as Coals, Black as Night Prologue

June 1, 2010
By OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch


Her feet pounded the streets made of the wide, aqua blue and purple rocks Afalia was famous for. As her urgent footsteps echoed around the narrow alley, she couldn’t have cared less about the beautiful rocks. She couldn’t care about anything but the nearly invisible sound of her pursuer’s footsteps, unheard unless you knew they were there.
As she rounded the corner, her heart stopped. She had come to a dead end. On her left and right were houses, in front of her was an immense, blue stone wall, at least twenty feet high, and behind her was the narrow alley her pursuer walked down calmly at that very moment.
She looked around frantically. There was nothing, nothing to move. The small corner was spotlessly clean and hopelessly empty, except for a few giant rats hiding in the shadows.
Then, all of a sudden, he was there. The man who had chased her all the way from the main square, six miles from here.
But was he a man? He was a giant, around nine feet tall. His entire body was covered by billowing robes. A large cowl obscured his face. But as she stared intently at his shadowed head, she saw something. Glowing like the brightest coals in a high-burning fire, pure red eyes shone through the blackness. They were so unerringly red, so impossibly bright…And then something else glinted in the darkness, something silver. A silver dagger with a beautiful, shining black hilt with a large sapphire embedded in it. He tilted the dagger so the waning, red and orange light glinted off the blade.
She screeched, eyes widening in terror. “What are you?” she cried hoarsely. The creature was advancing quickly. As a surge of fear swept through her, it occurred to her to try to move the rats. Suddenly, she felt a sharp, biting pain in her neck, and her vision began to grow hazy. Through the fog she saw three of the cat-sized rats flying at the creature, spitting their rage. It snapped its neck toward the rats and suddenly, they fell to the ground, mildly stunned. Once they had recovered, they scurried into the shadows. The shadows…
Cold breath, smelling of mint, meat, and smoke stung her burning cheek. His lips were mere inches from her ear. “Sorry ma’am,” he murmured, “Just doing my job.” And then, Ojilia passed into the peaceful oblivion of death.


The author's comments:
The prologue itself is not romance, but the story it is a prologue for is, so I categorized it as that.

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This article has 87 comments.


yellowbunny said...
on Jun. 24 2010 at 9:47 am
yellowbunny, Windsor, Vermont
0 articles 0 photos 23 comments
I love how you dontdon't explain everything, you leave it to the reader to figure it out  

on Jun. 23 2010 at 9:50 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thanks!  And actually, this novel is a romance, it just doesn't start until later in the book.  My favorite part of writing it:)Trust me, I love romance too.

on Jun. 23 2010 at 9:47 pm
ashkash95 SILVER, New Hyde Park, New York
9 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:8

this was great even though i'm more of a romance girl! but i love it and i can't wait to read the other chapters you posted! :)

on Jun. 23 2010 at 4:33 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thanks!  I'm really glad that you like this, since this is the first thing people read.

on Jun. 23 2010 at 11:08 am
Love1321 PLATINUM, Harrisville, Utah
21 articles 26 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart that understands." Anonymous

That was really cool! I love it!

on Jun. 23 2010 at 8:57 am
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thank you:)

Coffee BRONZE said...
on Jun. 23 2010 at 8:53 am
Coffee BRONZE, Tallahassee, Florida
4 articles 5 photos 184 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your Face.

Yeah, it was pretty good.

on Jun. 22 2010 at 4:08 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thanks!  I'm glad:)After all, the first thing people read is the prologue.

on Jun. 22 2010 at 3:44 pm
CheerfullyBlue GOLD, Santa Clarita, California
14 articles 9 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Forever is an awfully long time." -Peter and Wendy
"To die, would be an awfully big adventure." -Peter and Wendy

Wow, that was amazing! I love it!

on Jun. 21 2010 at 7:20 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thank you!  I'm really glad that you like my work:)

on Jun. 21 2010 at 2:18 pm
ValenciaJett BRONZE, Cape Elizabeth, Maine
4 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Wanta change the world?
There's nothing to it

There is no
Life I know
To compare with
Pure imagination
Living there
You'll be free
If you truly wish to be

sounds like the beginning of a great fantasy novel to me!

_Mags_ SILVER said...
on Jun. 20 2010 at 6:26 pm
_Mags_ SILVER, Somewhere, North Carolina
9 articles 7 photos 436 comments

Favorite Quote:
- I stare danger in the face and giggle
- Never argue with an idiot, people might not know the difference
-R.A.P (Retards Attempting Poetry)
-Tip Cologne ryhmes with alone

   Thankss

on Jun. 20 2010 at 5:53 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Of course!

_Mags_ SILVER said...
on Jun. 20 2010 at 2:53 pm
_Mags_ SILVER, Somewhere, North Carolina
9 articles 7 photos 436 comments

Favorite Quote:
- I stare danger in the face and giggle
- Never argue with an idiot, people might not know the difference
-R.A.P (Retards Attempting Poetry)
-Tip Cologne ryhmes with alone

hey, can you check out some of my stuff?

Babie PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 19 2010 at 11:43 pm
Babie PLATINUM, Modesto, California
30 articles 0 photos 58 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I Hate Kid's I have to many realitives.....ahhhhh!"

I loved it keep it up >_<

on Jun. 19 2010 at 10:52 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Definitely.

_Mags_ SILVER said...
on Jun. 19 2010 at 10:34 pm
_Mags_ SILVER, Somewhere, North Carolina
9 articles 7 photos 436 comments

Favorite Quote:
- I stare danger in the face and giggle
- Never argue with an idiot, people might not know the difference
-R.A.P (Retards Attempting Poetry)
-Tip Cologne ryhmes with alone

Lol, same here. It gets annoying

on Jun. 19 2010 at 9:40 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Yeah, and the only people who had read it before were my family, and they would tell me it was great even if it was s*** just to spare my feelings

_Mags_ SILVER said...
on Jun. 19 2010 at 9:37 pm
_Mags_ SILVER, Somewhere, North Carolina
9 articles 7 photos 436 comments

Favorite Quote:
- I stare danger in the face and giggle
- Never argue with an idiot, people might not know the difference
-R.A.P (Retards Attempting Poetry)
-Tip Cologne ryhmes with alone

yeah i know what you mean, how are you supposed to know if you barely even know what people will think about it

on Jun. 19 2010 at 7:48 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thank you!  I'm glad you like what I wrote.  The whole reason I posted my novel on Teenink was for some feedback:)