James,

I love you.

Always have, and hell I probably always will. I can't really put a finger on the exact moment I realized you would always have my heart but I do remember the first time we met. It was in the begining - or end? - of 6th grade. You had those eyes, one blue and the other blueish green - I noticed those first, who wouldn't? Even now, everytime I look in those eyes I experience the wonder I felt the first time I gazed into them. You were special, and your eyes proved what I knew in my heart.

I was the "new kid" who was breaking into the popular group - it was unheard of. Somehow I did it though, I did it. Some hated me, some loved me, some didn't care. You cared though, I know you did. I could see it in your beautiful eyes everytime you peeked at me through your long, almost girl-like eyelashes. You were curious, curious about the girl who had disrupted the social food chain. I was filled in on you quickly though, I soon knew how every girl secretly crushed on you even though you never showed any interest back. For some reason I never figured out, you were interested in me though. I could tell you were, and apparently I wasn't the only one. I became secretly envied by a few. It didn't matter, you never acted upon it. We slowly became friends but that was it, we talked and laughed together - but only as friends. Just friends.

Over the years I watched you grow, and mature from the cute, short kid into a tall, devastatingly handsome guy I fell even more deeply in love with. You still have those eyes, framed by those eyelashes. You still are incredibly nice, even though your popularity has reached new heights. I still see that curiousity from 6th grade in your eyes when you peek at me from the corner of your eyes. What do you see when you look at me? Does your heart beat fast like mine does when I look at you? Or do you just see your good friend since way back when?

I wonder though...

Could we be more?

If I ask nicely could we be more? If I whisper it softly in your ear, and add a please as I stroke your face? As if, I would be that brass and brave.

So instead of asking you, and facing your rejection - I write this letter. I seal this letter away in an evelope as if I were sending it and tuck it away for the future. Maybe, just maybe in the future, I will be brave.

Love,
Me.