I slammed my door, not wanting to be aware of the outside world. I just wanted to stay inside my bedroom, lying on my bed trying to escape. I was tired of the drama that high school was sending me. I was tired of fighting.
I told myself that I didn't care if I was giving up a year's worth of love. I was done with the drama, and getting rid of that part would put an end to over half the drama.
I had given him a year's worth of love. A year's worth of kisses. A year's worth of nights that I cried on his shoulder. A year's worth of nights where all we did was stay up late talking. A year's worth of "I love you's". And a year's worth of memories.
Then my mind began to race. I went back to when I first met him, I was at the store, I couldn't reach something on the uppermost shelf, so he got it for me. He was a gentleman and he helped me. We got to talking and we hit it off. Maybe it was then I should have realized that there was something about his gray eyes held too many secrets and too much pain. But maybe it was then, I also realized that there was something more to him.
I remembered our first date. He took me to a baseball game. We had nosebleed seats, not many people were sitting around me. He bought me cotton candy and lemonade. My favorite candy and my favorite drink. That was the greatest first date ever. We didn't even pay much to the game. It was fun to just sit and talk. Maybe it was then I should have realized how much he was going to mean to me in the long run.
I remembered our first kiss. We were at the park downtown with that pond. The sun was setting, we were standing on an arched bridge that went over the pond. He took my hands and drew me in closer, he then laced his hands around my lower back. His lips touched mine gently, it was like he had just let me into his world, we both at the same time laid down our arms in a surrender to allow each other to know each other perfectly. Everything felt right. All my doubts had disappeared.
Fast forward, everything had seemed right. Until suddenly we started fighting. All this drama began. Someone would say something bad about us being together, then we would take it to heart, instead of just letting it go away like we should have. Our fights got worse. Sometimes we wouldn't talk to each other afterward. Our love was deteriorating. Now it was gone.
I lay there on my bed, I realized I hated admitting this. I blinked back tears. "Love doesn't just go away," I heard my mom's voice echo in my mind. I still love him, I told myself. And with that thought I sprang up on my bed and got on my way to his house, praying it wasn't too late.