He simply walked past the girl. He never turned back to look one last time. He doesn’t want to be reminded of the pain that she left for him. His eyes almost cloud over with new found tears. She didn’t call his name. It comes back as a reminder and a slap in the face. He had loved her with the love that people wish they could feel. His love was the greatest, the happiest. Nothing could overtake his love for her. Even then he still loved her with as much force as he wish he didn’t have.
She saw him brush past her without a glance to the presence of her lingering scent as she moved out of his way. Her heart pounded with all the love she needed to sacrifice to him. Why did she leave? She never could figure out the answer. Something told her he needed to have a wonderful woman, someone better than she could even figure out to be. Her hand ached to reach out to grab him. It froze near her side at the thought of the emotions that might cross his face. Nothing mattered but him.
He walked quicker in the piercing cold morning. His face was going numb with the wind blowing against it. He could still smell the perfume he had bought for her last Christmas. Did she still wear it? He wished he could find out the answer. Something deep inside of him told him to run back and ask her. Another part told him to forget her. But how could he? How could he forget a woman as magnificent as the green-eyed beauty behind him? He remembered staring into them the first time he met her. They shined as if a flashlight were behind them. He remembered her laugh. Oh, her laugh. The melodic way it ringed in the air as corny jokes passed between the ears of friends. Please come back. My dear love, we have wasted so many days without talking. I miss you.
She missed him. She missed the late phone calls. She missed the nights they spent together curled up on the couch. She missed the picnics at the park, eating chocolate covered strawberries while sipping champagne. She missed the very being of him, the very essence he held. She had to get him back. Nothing was the same, nor could it be without him. She raced after him.
“John?” her voice was breathless and barely audible yet still he turned with utter shock on his face. The minute their eyes met she could feel the guard he raised up.
“Yes?” he had no emotion. He didn’t want her to see he was near tears with her being there right before him.
“Can we talk?” she didn’t want to go straight to the point but hopefully work into it. He would run off if she bluntly stated that she missed him. After all, she did leave him.
“I have a job to do. I’ll call you when I can,” he wanted to go with her now. He wished he would be able to call her the first minute he could. He knew it wouldn’t happen, yet she looked so beautiful with her rosy cheeks against her white skin. She looked cold and he wished they could curl up in each others arms in front of a fire. None of this would happen.
“No you won’t John. You won’t talk to me after this. We’ll go on like we have been the past few months. You don’t want anything to do with me but please just talk to me. For old times’ sake.” Her voice sounded desperate and she saw the converging emotions pass his face as he slowly descended the steps of his office building. He wanted to go with her, but then again he didn’t know if he could go. Was it possible to hate and love someone at the same time? He’s heard of the saying that hate is just the denial of love. She looked so lovely. He reached her side and looked down in to her eyes.
His face was blank but his eyes held all the love he was holding back from her. He motioned for her to lead the way. She started walking in front of him but he caught up and walked beside her. He left enough distance so they wouldn’t brush one another. She longed to reach for his hand. The coffee shop was in view and they quietly walked towards the entrance. He held the door open for her and she smiled at him. He looked away and before he could wipe it away a small tear left the corner of his eye. Her heart broke in half. He looked at her then and she wanted to soothe him, to wipe away the tears that kept coming from his eyes. Instead, they just walked to a booth and sat down while the waitress poured them coffee.
“I miss you and simply going on without you is getting harder and harder the more I try. I didn’t mean to walk out on what we had but it just seemed so unreal. I’ve never loved someone so much before and the thought of getting hurt was first in my mind. I’m so sorry for hurting you. I thought me leaving you would realize that you can get a woman so much more –“
“You honestly think there’s a woman better for me than you are? You were the love of my life and still are if you want to be. My heart was meant to love you. Even if we don’t see each other after this I’ll be happy just hearing your voice one more time. I love you, Rachel. Don’t try to change that.” His voice caught. They were both smiling and crying with each other. She reached for his hand across the booth. He took her hand and added a gentle squeeze.
“I still love you, and the harder I try not to the more deeply I fall for you. There is no one else whose heart molds perfectly with mine. I love you, John, and never again will I turn away from that.”
They sat quietly together, gazing into each others eyes. He loved her and she loved him. Just that simple statement made living all the better.