The darkness engulfed me as I tried to make sense of where I was going. The road set out for me seemed to be cracking; on the brink of falling apart. What purpose was I sent to serve in this world? I had lost the one entity which meant more to me than anything in the world and beyond ever could. Everything was supposed to happen for a reason- yet, no reason spat out from any mouth or scrawled from any ink-filled pen could satisfy my question; Why?
I would go to every corner of the world and sail across every ocean that flowed. I would turn over every rock sitting untouched in this world I couldn’t call mine; I would search every drop of water for a reason. Even then I am sure nothing could satisfy me. The only person who could give me a reasonable answer is probably up above in the heaven, watching me struggle to make it through the darkness I have lost myself in, with a sad smile on his face.
Love had no meaning for me before I had found you. People wondered if I would stop believing again; now that you were gone. People are stupid, senseless creatures who have no idea what’s going on in this pain-filled head. Anguish and agony grips at me at every turn, luring me into the depths of insanity. My retina takes every image and turns it upside down into a tunnel of memories and flashbacks. I would say I have gone blind; yet I can still see your face, behind the curtain of blackness which has conquered every bit of me. I can still see your face everywhere; behind every palm tree looming in the distance, smiling from beneath the silvery silk I would imagine the moon to be covered with as a child.
They say I am the only one who can see you; they assume I have gone crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once upon a time. With you by my side. Who would not be? I wish I could go back to being crazy. At least you would be beside me, running your hand through my hair like you loved doing so much, instead of being buried so far below the earth. Why there? Home is here. You promised me you would never leave. I know you will come back. I feel calmer already, knowing you’re on your way. The clock is ticking and I will not stop waiting as long as is does.
The sun is slowly rising in the horizon; how beautiful it is! The glint of its rays reflects on the water below; barely discernible. Why is the water so blue? It’s taking my breath away; it’s killing me- the brightness of it all. I'm not far off now; I'm nearly at the edge of this cliff. Oh, how tall and wonderful it is. The cool wind that brushes past me exhilarates me and I look down. The water is so far away, and so welcoming. Is that your reflection I see in the salty water? How is it that I can taste salt water when it is so far off? My cheeks feel damp for some reason. I look up but it is not raining. How beautiful this world is- and oh! There you are, gesturing to me from afar, from the depths of the glistening water below. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, letting the cool morning air engulf me until I have lost myself in nothingness. I’m coming, love. I’m nearly there. And so I put my foot forward, with a smile on my face which had ceased to exist since the day you left me because of the horrible car crash people had assumed had taken you away forever. They don’t know anything. I'm coming.