Birds and Butterflies | Teen Ink

Birds and Butterflies

August 3, 2011
By SocialPariah GOLD, Laurel, Maryland
SocialPariah GOLD, Laurel, Maryland
16 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
A dream is just a recycled memory.


Tears dribbled down her rosy cheeks and a low sob escaped from her throat. "But I love you Lea. Why are you doing this to me?" Beth cried. I couldn't find my voice. So I just stood there with my head hanging down. Staring at my toes digging in the steaming hot dirt. We had met each other here by the lake. And here again is where we'll end.
Beth was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen in my entire life. She had pure golden hair that flowed freely down her back, and emerald eyes that always shone in the sunlight. I fell in love with her at first sight. And she had fallen in love with me. That was the first tiime I'd felt such strong feelings for a girl. I'd never loved anyone like this before. But that was before I met Mike. Mike lured me into his arms the minute I fell for him. The first time we kissed, I felt guilty for an entire week. i couldn't stand lying to Beth anymore. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was still head over heels in love with me.
"Mike doesn't love you the way I do Lea! you know that don't you? Men can never love a woman the right way. Guys know what a girl wants. But only a girl knows what a girl needs." She stepped closer to me and ran her fingers gently through my hair. I winced and pulled away from her. "I'm sorry Beth but I just can't feel the way I used to. I'm in love with Mike and he loves me. Can't we just be friends?" I begged softly.
She let out a frustrated scream and I cringed. "No! No! I don't want to be JUST FRIENDS!" she hollered. "I want to love you. I want to hold you tight and kiss you and...I want it to be like it was before." She cried and took my hand. Her green eyes stared fiercely into mines. "Remember that night we spent here by the lake? You told me you loved me and no one else. Remember when we kissed and fell asleep into each others arms? How it felt so right together?" My eyes were brimmed with tears. I nodded and a tear ran down my cheek.
But I no longer felt that way anymore. I loved Mike and Beth was just friend to me. "Beth i love you but I don't feel the same way. I love Mike but we can still be friends okay?" Then she broke down crying. I couldn't stand watching her anymore. I turned around and walked away into the woods.
I headed home stumbling over scattered branches, my own tears blinding me. Somewhere far behind me I could hear Beth moaning and sobbing in agony. The night had begun to settle in as I arrived home. In my bed I tossed and turned, my mind stuck on Beth. "Lea you're only sixteen. Long term relationships don't exist. You did the right thing." I whispered to myself. But I remember going to sleep with Beth's name on the tip of my tongue.
The next morning I was awakened with the sound of my bedroom door barging open. My mom's figure was standing in the doorway, the expression on her face was terrifying. I sat up in bed and asked what was wrong. She frowned and said "Your friend, Beth. They found her in the Lake. Lea I'm so sorry." Tears immediately ran down my face and I cried terribly that day. It was all my fault. Now Beth had to spend her eternity in hell because of me. My life was never the same. I still loved Beth and i didn't mean to hurt her. Now she's gone and a part of me left with her.
Her funeral wasn't so grand either. Not many attended because her death was reported as a suicide. But indeed it was a murder, because I murdered Beth. I murdered her with my words. I murdered her soul. After she dided, I never spoke to Mike again. My love for him was n othing compared to what I felt for Beth. And as I stand beside this lake remembering that day, I remember this lake where we both met. And where we both ended. And as Beth took her life for me, I will do the same for her. Life isn't the same without her. I don't care about damning my soul for eternity. I'd rather spend my eternity in hell with Beth, than to be in this empty world without her. So Beth if you can hear me, I'm on my way. I've come to be with the true love of my life...for eternity.



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