“Be careful.” She whispered into his shoulder as she hugged him for the last time. His uniform was rough on her cheek but she paid little attention to it, deciding to inhale his scent once more before pulling away. The people around them, although neither was paying attention, were staring at them pitifully, their feelings only escalating when he took the time to touch her stomach. It didn’t take much of a brain to realize she was with child.

“How many times do I have to tell you?” He smirked, bending over to kiss her forehead the way he always did when she worried. “I got this.”

“I’m serious, Ryan.” The way he made a joke of everything normally made her love him more but at the moment she just wanted him to stop. “Keep your head low.”

The cringingly high voice of a lady who sounded no older than thirty echoed throughout the terminal informing everyone that it was the last call for the flight to Dallas, Texas. It was finally time for him to leave and the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach only intensified when he took a step back and started to turn around.
“I’ll be back. I promise.” He assured but she knew better than to believe him. She had watched her dad leave the same way, never to return back home.
She watched helplessly as he handed his boarding pass to a woman with light brown hair brushed back in a tight ponytail. He turned around briefly, offering her a small wave before disappearing behind doors of the gangway. It took her all of five seconds to grow bored of standing there waiting for the plane to take off, but she stayed because it was the only thing keeping her from breaking down. Glancing down at her stomach, she sighed before resting her arms on the bump that seemed to grow exponentially each day.
* * * *

“Only one month until daddy comes home.” She cooed, bouncing her son up and down on her knee. It had been nine months since she had seen Ryan off at the airport and so far he had missed out on two months of parenting. Pursing her lips when her black shirt was suddenly covered in vomit, she stood up and made her way to the bathroom with Ben on her hip.

There was a knock on the door and she imagined whoever it was who was at her door was now drenched from the exuberant amount of rain they had been receiving. Placing Ben gently into his pack-n-play, she rubbed her hands on her jeans before opening the door. Standing in the doorway was a man she hadn't seen since she and Ryan had gotten married.

“Come in.” She said briefly, searching her brain for any recollection of a conversation she had where she invited her husband’s brother over. Clearing her thoughts, she shook her head and followed him into the kitchen, leaving Ben in the living room. “Do you want anything to eat? To drink?”

He shook his head as he plopped himself onto one of the kitchen stools. Gently, he muttered, “We got the call. Yesterday.” She must have looked confused because when he looked up at her, he sighed and decided it’d be best to elaborate. “Ryan. His plane was shot down four days ago.”

She couldn’t see straight as her brain worked vigorously to try to process what information she had just been given. The promise he had made that day in the airport made a forceful reappearance into her memory. Almost as if they were in some overly dramatic Nicholas Sparks novel, Ben started crying, probably wishing to be played with. Clutching the cabinet, she allowed her head to hang in between her arms, hair now covering her face.

“I’m really sorry.” He mumbled, standing up and walking to the other side of the cabinet. She cringed when she felt him touch her back as if that moment of contact would make all of her problems disappear. “I’m sure he’s-.”

“Don’t.” She commanded, suddenly feeling more strong than she had just moments ago. “Get out.”

Surprisingly, he did as he was told and left her there alone with Ben. She supposed it was better that she was alone because she needed to prepare for the rest of her life of solitude. Perhaps she’d buy a cat and allow her sanity to slip away day by day. She couldn’t do that, though, because Ben was still in need of her care and she knew that Ryan had given up so she’d have to fight for the life he left behind. She just wasn’t sure how.
* * * *

Years had passed since that day in the kitchen, six to be exact, and it was harder than she ever could have imagined but her renovating the house helped a little. At least with the pictures down she’d only remember him when her mind desired and not just because she passed a lousy picture.

“Honey, where do we keep the trash bags?” A male’s voice asked from the kitchen. She rolled her eyes remembering all of the times she had told him they were under the sink. Still, she answered his question and continued cleaning up the living room. It was their night to host book night and they were currently reading The Things They Carried, a book she would have preferred never to touch. “Thank you!”

As she finished her tidying, she stood up and walked into her bedroom, retrieving the box she only looked at on certain occasions. Every memory she and Ryan had was stored neatly in the tiny box and she had tried on several occasions to dispose of it. There was no room for him in her new life but a tiny bit of her knew that if the memories died, a part of her would as well.

“There’s a phone call for you.” Someone said suddenly from behind her and she placed a hand on her heart in an attempt to stop its rapid beating. She could feel him peering over her shoulder at the contents in the box, but she shut the lid and shoved it back onto the top shelf. “What’s that?”

“Nothing.” She decided was a good enough response. He pursed his lips and peered at the shelf curiously, but turned around and walked out of the closet. “Who is it on the phone?”

“I’m not sure.” Her husband grumbled, shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders. “The guy just said he was some other dude’s brother.”

Sighing, she reached for the phone. There were many times that neighbors would accidently call her house when they were looking to speak with someone else. But as she looked at the caller ID she realized this was not one of those times. “Hey, Paul? Can you check on Ben?” When he nodded and left the room, she quickly and quietly spoke into the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey.” The man muttered, using a surprisingly happy intonation despite how their last conversation had gone.

“I thought I told you not to call me.” She muttered, looking around to make sure Paul or Ben was not in hearing range. “It’s too hard.”

“But it doesn’t have to be anymore.” He stated cheerfully and she ran through all of the possibilities of where this was heading in her head. “They found him. He’s alive.”

“They found him?” She asked incredulously, putting her hand to her head which was now suddenly scorching. “Where was he? Was he captured?”

“Yeah. He was with nine other men. ” He stammered out, seemingly distraught by the terrible news. "He suffered malnutrition and some broken bones, but I'm told he'll be just fine. They're holding him in the hospital downtown for observation but he should be home in a week. Isn’t that great!?”

She thought about ways to respond but ultimately was in a state of shock. Her thoughts were jumbled and she couldn't form words so she slowly hung up the telephone not allowing another syllable to escape her lips. anything else. Her head started throbbing as she thought about how once again her life was taking another change in course. On the one hand she could not stay here a minute longer to have Ryan come home and find out how easy it was for her to move on with another man. Paul, as well, could not find out that Ben's father was still alive and now reentering her life. But at the same time, she couldn't just leave the life she’d spent the last six years rebuilding behind. Still, the second option sounded more appealing so she immediately opened her laptop and started searching for a new place to call home.
* * * *


One week later, she sat in the passenger’s seat waiting for Paul to finally pull out of the driveway and start their long journey to the mountains of Pennsylvania. All she wanted was to be out of their neighborhood and away from the possibility that her new life could crumble around her at any minute. In the back of her mind was the notion that at any moment, he could be turning the corner, expecting her to be waiting for him to finally return to her. All that was gone, though, and she wished he would realize that.

So lost in her own thoughts, she hadn’t even realized that the car was now moving at a steady pace towards the end of the neighborhood. Staring out the window at all of the crows flying overhead, she allowed herself to become acquainted with the sound they made seeing as her new house would likely be infested with the creatures. Ben sat in the backseat, gawking at the animals and trying to reach out and grab them. He was muttering some elaborate story about how in order to save the day he had to capture them all. Now she was beginning to realize that permitting him to watch Indiana Jones was not the smartest idea she had.

With her lack of attention on the road, she didn’t realize the taxi cab speed around the corner and through the stop sign but she imagined that even if she had been actively paying attention to the road, the car would have virtually been invisible. Glass broke and her head banged against her window as the bright yellow car collided with the driver’s side of the vehicle. Thanking God that she had put Ben on her side of the car, she shut her eyes and allowed the pain to seethe through her like burning coal. As the car came to a stop a couple of meters in the grass, she opened her eyes and looked to her left. Even with no medical training, by the look of Paul’s physical state, she knew he wouldn’t survive. Frantically, as the tears filled her eyes, she turned to look behind her and almost smiled when she saw Ben looking up at her, rubbing his head.

“Stay still Ben.” She insisted, smiling when he nodded. “The police will be here soon. You’re ok.”

A few seconds later, she felt her door opening and a wave of relief coursed through her being. About to thank the paramedic for his help, she looked up at the man and instantly was taken aback because standing there was the passenger in the taxi, who was none other than Ryan.

As Ryan reached down to assist her out of the car, he brushed her hair out of her face. She could see the way he looked at her adoringly, but it wasn't the same as it used to be. She didn't want this life anymore. Taking her look of pure shock as a positive sign, he asked “Glad to see me again?” He smiled but those five words didn’t comfort her whatsoever but instead sent her into a darkness that she wouldn’t wake up from for days.