Lost within the Mind | Teen Ink

Lost within the Mind

July 2, 2012
By samj97 SILVER, Deerfield, New Hampshire
samj97 SILVER, Deerfield, New Hampshire
9 articles 5 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It dosnt matter how many times you fell, it matters how many times you got up"


The morning dew glistened through my window as I breathed for the last time. No one can save me from within...... within my heart. As I held up my hand I saw a bare palm with blood trickling down my arm. Life time is wasting in my last days as I dream of being there with everyone I loved as friends. Why won't they come and save me? As I rose up my head to look at the disappearing light a shadow crept toward me. A arm reached out to me. Grabbing my blood stained arm he grabbed me. I tried to scream but no one heard. Why was this happening I wished it was a dream that I could snap out of. But it was not going to be true not now not ever at least for me. The shadow darkened as it dragged me to the world outside. I heard a voice inside my head saying “run! Run It is your last chance!” I started to struggle but then a gust of air banged me in the head. My eyes shut slowly nothing to be heard I felt helpless for once for once I felt hopeless......


“Isabella...come follow me to the way out....” I looked up to see nothing but darkness. “Hello is anyone there? Why won't you answer?” I looked around all I saw was white? Why wasn't there trees,grass or lakes. Where was my home and friends? Something tickled me but when I looked down a small creature was crawling over my leg. It had a back of yellow gold armor with black spots covering it. Where am I? A voice echoed in my head saying: It is okay you’re going to be fine. But I couldn't feel my whole entire body why was I dreaming or was I dead? Suddenly a brutal shake woke me up. “Isabella! My darling welcome home!” I looked up to see a woman towering over me with a cold wet towel wiping my face. “You probably don't remember me but I'm your aunt Charlotte.” She also said it with a smile showing a mouth of brownish white teeth. I made an effort not to talk to this abomination, from who knows where she was from. As she got up she handed me a pile of clothes.”You might want to change before you go do chores don't you?” Then she left the room with the door slowly closing. As it closed a silent creak followed it. As my eyes looked around the surrounding old dusty western horse features hung around. I looked outside wondering how did I get here? Then I heard a awful screeching noise as if someone was getting a bloody murder present. The nerves in my body begin to shake violently as the noise got louder and louder. “Isabella....Come to me. You belong with me.” “Who's there! I command you come out!” I shouted as loud as I could but nothing answered. Why were they calling me? Did I have something they wanted? Suddenly a boy rammed down the door. He had said something to me but I could not understand him. A wild wind blew windows were breaking I screamed nothing came out. Suddenly a hand grabbed me by the arm yanking me out of the bed. “Hang on nothing is gonna happen to you.” I tried to look behind me to see who was saving me but all I saw was the back of their head. “Isabella Do not follow the unseen.” The unseen? And why are all these people calling me Isabella? Suddenly everything disappeared into thin air even the darkness was no longer to be seen. I sat in a corner with my hands covering my head. I looked over my-self to make sure there were no cuts or scars. As I looked the blood stain on my arm remained there in the long line of cold blood. A calm reassuring voice said for me to stand up. “Please stand you are okay now.” I slowly pushed my-self up and when I did I came face to face with the boy. “Hi I heard you are not much of a talker.” I just gazed at him. Who was he to be saying I never talk? He held out his hand, Ha! Like I was going to shake his disgusting hog-shaped hand! I hope he knows how much I did not need his help. “I don't need your help. I was perfectly fine until you out of all things came in here.” He gave me a glance then he proceeded his gaze around the area as if he was to the destroy the empty room. “If you didn't notice YOU were the one who screamed like a little baby. Now if you please.....” He held out his hand once again. I did not return the favor not like I was going to ever to this rude dude! I stood up to the full standard of my ability. Ignoring him I walked past to the door way out to the hall and suddenly stopped. There was no hall way or even a house. Okay think straight I am just dreaming of a half house like we are standing in outer space. Of course who could believe that? The boy walked up next to me breathing nice and calmly. How could he be fine? How can any one be fine?! “Where is everything”? He just looked at me like I was from a different planet. “Hi my name is Jake and your welcome for saving your darn life that is a life time of waste!” I was so appalled by his statement,although the thing about my life was true had to cut him some slack there. “Who are you to be telling me anything or even saving my life for me?You know what don't even answer!” Jake gave me a scold of a lifetime. “Well sorry let me call back that darkness so you can go and go get judged by the Lord him-self! I was called by you or do you not remember?” I looked at him. What did he mean? “You do not remember do you? Come on Isabella,He meant , he meant he hated you...” He slowly walked away mumbling and cursing under his breath. The cold wretched breeze blew at the timing of confessions. “I thought it was a myth a total mistake. I should been there with you to not let this happen.....Curse his soul!” Okay I do not understand a thing he just said. “What do you mean? I don't even know who I AM!? This is just a dream nothing is real ever here not ever” “Don't say that Izzy! I know somewhere your body there is something that he could not erase from you or me.” When a fist of anger he banged it against the only wall that stood. With a loud crack the wall protecting us from the cold that was attacking us from all sides. I felt an urge to say it was going to be okay but I held back. I mean I didn't even know him. His dirty blonde hair covered his light blue eyes. I felt a feeling I could not describe but it felt like something we had in common. “You..I mean we were did everything together you have to remember. He did not erase it all I just know it! Please just say my name for one last time.....” A tear of sadness swelled up under the eyes of hope the only hope I felt I could trust. He looked up at me a small smile cracked from under the face of sadness. I really wanted to smile but I did not say a word why can't I say it to him? He made me feel right and understandable. “Please Isabella I beg of you out of everything in this whole world!” His face welded up with sadness. “Please just say my name one time..” He reached out a hand towards mine. “I thank you Jake for the things you have done but for now I want to find out who did this to me. I want to remember I really want to I mean it.” I slowly moved my hand toward his. He moved it away,a pain of anger and a flow of sadness filled his eyes, also I could feel it. “I wish I could believe you...But I wish I could but my heart says you meant it my soul says you are just saying it to be affectionate.” My soul was pierced with words of lies. Bloody,evil,and misunderstand-able words of a tongue of lies. A shrill high voice came from a long distance miles from no where. “Isabella! Come my darling Auntie is coming!” Oh no not this clown! “Jake I feel terrible about the way you feel......” There before me before me like I was talking to a ghost. The ghost of my terrible past. A cold hand rubbed my shoulder a shock of security came over me. “Why didn't he stay..I felt like I could....Trust him.” She turned me around so I could see her majestic brown eyes. “He will be back my dear But for now you need to rest that is enough self-searching for now.” As the sun's light died out all the bright things turned to dark. As I slowly got ready for bed I found a red velvet colored rose laid on my bed on top of my dark red blanket. The stem was as green as a pasture the petals felt like silk on my finger tips. My eyes noticed a little note attached to it As I picked it up the pricks of the stem pricked my finger. I pulled back the pain felt like a sense of nothing like nothing had even touched me. The truth had struck me like a power of strength I had known forever. I had finally felt powerful for once life had given me a meaning. I walked to the burrow where I left the rose when it had struck me with life. I looked into the mirror to find myself staring at my-self for the first time. I looked like a lost child from dangerous car crashes where the parents die. My dark green eyes gave the feeling of shame,terror and a skinny twig from h*ll. My hair was as long as anything the color was the scariest thing it was the darkest thing ever. The black hair covered my tan skin. As I held the rose to my chest the then I noticed it. The single strand of blackish blonde hair. “He was here...” I whispered to my self wishing he could come back so I could learn more about my self. My small figure showed nothing but failure to my self. I walked on the cold ground to my bed. One wall stood as the wind blew it creaked back in forth making a threat to fall on top of my aunt and I. My mind was soaring with wonder. Why could I not remember anything? Swirling with questions only one was answered and that was my name. My name was Isabella Sanders. Daughter of the famous Leroy Sanders the famous inventor. But where was he? Why can't I remember about him or my mother? My life was so unreal like I never existed to anyone or thing. Small skittish noises rounded into my ears. I could hear small creaking noises coming up the stairs in the darkness. The walk of a stressed body walked up the steps of life. My Aunt stood in the no longer to be door way acting like she needed to knock she quietly taped on the wall. “May I come in?” I turned my head in the direction where Jake was standing for the time I had with him. “Sure nothing to go against that.” With a mighty “I think your a terdball' sigh she came in setting down a tray. The silver lines of design glittered in the moonlight such beauty found in small places. “So Isabella how was it seeing Jake again? You two used to do things together always.” She said, and then sighed as she picked up a cup of tea. She sipped it like it was her last thing to drink so she had to drink it very slowly. “It felt like I knew him forever he felt like the only on who I could trust. Life is wasting he said I do not get it.” My heart pounded when she looked at me with eyes of rage. “He is just confused about his own life. You were the only thing in his life until you left. When you left he was very depressed about it.” My eyes stared at the rose then to the north. Why was this a hard thing for him? “He never said anything to me about it. You are lying about him that is all lies!” My heart pounded at my own rage of anger. How could she sit here and say that to my face after I just met him. “Life is not always what it seems after you left he went a search to find you. When he found out that you were taken he could not hold himself together.” I could not take it any linger. “Stop it just stop. It is not the right time for me to be hearing this. Jake is my favorite friend in the whole world I just can't believe any of this.” She slowly got up and I got into bed. “You will find out sooner or later but that is enough for today. Oh and don't forget. You have school tomorrow bus comes at 7:30 don't forget.” I slowly close my eyes to dream of him the only one for me. The one who cared for me. I could hear the small animals crawl into their homes for the winding ending for the night. A small crack of a tear rolled down my cheeks as I dreamed of the very words he said: “Please say my name for one more time....Please Izzy.” The words echoed in my head taunting me. I had made a wish a wish that may never happen a wish for him to come back in my dreams of hope. Isabella Keep dreaming of the one thing you love...... My head had dreams of the one thing I loved until the well known darkness came to me. The darkness that has held me captive inside for 13 long years. Years I had wished I had back.




A loud beeping noise had awakened me from my peaceful dreams of my life before I came to here. My life was changing faster then what I could learn in a heart beat. My eyes slowly targeted on the small horse alarm clock ringing in the beat of a African sacrifice drum. My legs kept saying “No I will not move” But I made them make an effort to get out of bed. My black hair dangled from side to side over my face. Greens eyes stared through me as I looked into the mirror trying to comb out my hair. The clothes laid out on my bed were a pair of holed denim jeans [Just the right size thank you] and a blue tank top with a green sleeveless sweatshirt to top it all off. Soon after I after I got dressed I slowly walked down the stairs with no railing or wall to lean on. The smell of baking cooking on the stove thrilled my taste buds. “Good morning Isabella how was your sleep? The bus will be here in 20 minutes it will take you at least 15 minutes to walk down the road to the bus stop, can you handle that or do I need to drive you down?” I quietly examined the almost cooked pig meat called “bacon.” “I am perfectly capable to walk down there alone don't you think. Or am I not qualified?” My aunt gave me a small red messenger bag and a brown paper bag containing food. “I trust you but I think you can figure out the rest.” I slowly opened the door before I left I had on more question. “Wait Aunt Charlotte what grade am I in or what school am I in?”

“Your in 7th and you should obviously know the rest my dear.” She said with a weak smile. I sighed and closed the screen door behind me.


The road was such a long road. It seems like it will never end. I listened carefully to the birds singing and the ground making noise beneath my feet. Suddenly I heard another voice behind me. I looked around quickly, I saw a close shadow behind the woods nearby. I grabbed a rock and yelled. “Come out if you dare!” bushes rustled and I turned every which way prepared to throw at any given time. Suddenly a voice arose from the tree. “Put the rock down,then I will come out.” I hesitated. “I don’t think that is a choice. But I will lower my aim instead” I lowered my arm and still kept my eyes locked on the target. The shadow swooped down from the tree, and landed still in the shadows behind bushes. “You will have to do much better than that..because Isabella Sanders I know your every move.” the shadow began to creep closer to the sun light. I made my arm launch into action, I threw the rock into the air towards the creeping shadow.

Silence filled the air, as the rock flew through the sky. SMACK! The rock landed onto the hard gravel. “See my little savage, I know your every move...” The shadow emerged from the protection of the bush. A tall girl stood before me. Dark skin camouflaged her body from the light, her bright blue eyes resembled icy rivers with every intention to kill. She had long golden hair, carefully braided into a long single braid hanging down her back. The girl stepped forward with her body towering over me. She held her hand out.



“I am Sajara, but everyone calls me Sara-J.” I stared down at her hand then at her dark skin,her light hair and threatening eyes. She gave me a sly smile. “Have you never seen a black mix before?” I nervously shifted from side to side.

“Possibly, anyways that does not matter. You need to tell me why you are trying to ambush me.” I stared deep into her eyes.
She simply pulled her hand back and grabbed a bag from behind the bushes. “Well, jeez no need for the jumpy attitude.” She raised a brow and started to walk away. I couldn’t let her do that I had to get information from her, after all she was the one to start this whole meeting.

“Well excuse me for being a little cranky from my “Alice in Wonderland” trip” I started to jog to get beside her.
“Huh,..” She just kept walking. What is up with this girl?

-To be continued...



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