This is the story of me accomplishing what everyone dreams about, this is the story of when I killed my sister. We never got along very well, we always fought. I do remember one time when we were actually nice to each other. Whenever I look back at that moment I can’t help but cry because I know that I love her.

We were very different, Maria and me. I was the tough one, the tomboy. I got into all sorts of trouble. I was reckless and dangerous and just enjoyed having fun. Maria on the other hand, she was a goody two shoes. She was always so prim and proper, so careful and calm. Maria was no fun; she never wanted to do anything.

It was my tenth birthday, the day we finally got along. She was a few years older than me but I was always the instigator. I asked my parents if we could go to Port Seranth, a bustling city that held wonders for a little girl but they wouldn’t allow it. I argued and fought with them until they had finally had enough and I was sent to my room.

I gazed longingly out my second story window toward the sea. It had been years since we had taken the short walk through the trees to the beautiful ocean. I remember my mother dipping my feet in the water and letting the waves lap against them. The sea reminded me of myself, untamable, and that’s why I had fallen in love the first time I’d seen it.

“I’m going anyway,” I told myself climbing up on the ledge of the window. I caught my breath as I looked down; it seemed like a far drop even if it wasn’t. I closed my eyes and willed myself out the window. The landing wasn’t very graceful but it didn’t hurt anyway. I smiled as I got back to my feet and started in the direction of the forest, “Who cares about them anyway?”

I had already spent most of the day with my family and now the sun was beginning to set. They wouldn’t check on me, they’d probably think I was already asleep. It would be dark by the time I arrived but it didn’t matter to me, maybe I just wouldn’t go back.

The locals warned children not to go into the forest at night; they said that it was dangerous. This had only made me want to go more, now I had a chance. I wasn’t brave enough to stray from the path, not yet. I smiled back at my home town and then plunged into the forest.

I thought it was cool at first, the twilight shining dimly through the canopy. It cast a faint glow everywhere. Then I heard the low growl and my stomach dropped and my heart raced up my throat. I slowly turned in the direction of the sound and held my breath.

A silver wolf stalked through the forest and watched me curiously. It bared its fangs at me and slowly stepped in my direction and I stepped back. If I just leave it alone it will leave me alone, right? Not this time.

The wolf pounced at me and I dove behind a tree. I began to panic as I heard it readying for another attack, I had to think. There was a large branch a few feet from me. Maybe if I fought back then it would think I was more trouble than I was worth.
I broke from cover and picked up the stick. Then I turned back and brandished it at the beast. When the wolf attacked I slammed my makeshift weapon into it and it snapped in two. Even it had to understand I was weaponless so I ran.
When I finally stopped I figured I had lost the wolf. It probably found something a little less difficult to hunt but now I was completely lost. I had no idea where the path was or how deep in the forest I was.
I sunk to the ground with a tree to my back and began to cry. Then I heard the howl of a pack of wolves somewhere not too far away and my crying turned into unrelenting sobs. My body shook and my nose ran and I was a mess. Then I heard a twig snap just to my side and I stared into the darkness, trying to discern the intruder.
“What are you doing so far out here?” I sighed in relief as I realized that it was Maria, “Mom and Dad are going to kill you.”
“I wanted to go to the ocean but there was a wolf and then…,” I broke down and started to cry again. My parents were going to be furious and Maria would never let this go by. I could have died and everything was rushing into my head at once.
“Hey, it’s alright,” Maria put her arms around me and just sat with me and let me cry. She stroked my hair comfortingly, “I’m here now, everything’s fine. There aren’t any wolves to get you. Your big sister will protect you.”
“What about mom and dad?” I asked, blinking the tears away. I’d never been like this before. I had never needed my sister.
“Oh forget about mom and dad,” Maria smiled at me and I was shocked. Those words were the last words I’d ever thought would come out of her mouth. I wasn’t sure if I believed her, “Trust me, we’re sisters, we have to look out for each other. Just think of it this way, I have your back this time and you’ll have my back next time. This’ll be just between us, our little secret.”
“Thanks,” I murmured.
“Good, now come on, let’s go home,” Maria stood and extended a hand to me, which I gratefully took. I looked down at my shoes and stood about a foot away from her. She wrapped an arm around me and pulled me to her side, “Happy Birthday Leah.”
From that point on Maria and I had an understanding. We didn’t always get along but we did always have each other’s backs. The first time I caught her kissing Jason. The time she stepped in when I’d gotten in a little over my head. The first time she snuck out and went to a party and I had to cover for her. The first time she caught me kissing Apollo. We never ratted each other out, everything was our little secret.
Now my older sister was lying in my arms, clutching at a wound that I had inflicted. There was blood everywhere, and the only explanation I could give: Syvimara told me to. He told me to destroy my hometown and I hadn’t even thought twice about the action until afterward. Now tears were streaming down my cheeks like the night I got lost in the forest.
“I’m sorry,” I pleaded to Maria and a weak smile crept to her face. The smile only served in making me sob even harder, “I’m so, so, so sorry.”
“Oh, Leah,” Maria stroke my face gently, wiping away the tears like she had in the forest exactly seven years ago, “You have such beautiful eyes, don’t blur them with your tears. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes.”
“Not like this,” I held her hand in mine and wondered how she could be so calm right now, “No one makes mistakes like this. It’s your life, your life that I have taken away. How can you possibly be so forgiving?”
“We’re sisters,” She coughed as she spoke and I could see that she was fading, “We have to look out for each other. This’ll be just between us, our little secret.”
“Maria…,” I couldn’t think of anything to say, I just desperately clutched her hand for support. I thought that I was somehow holding her to this world and if I let go she would die.
“I have to go now,” Maria somehow seemed content but I wasn’t. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end. She reached out and placed a small box in my hand, “I know how much you like them. Happy Birthday Leah.”
“No!” I shouted at her as her eyes glazed and the last breath left her body. I shook her violently and cursed her, “Come on, come on you little priss! You can’t do this to me! Please, stop it! I’m sorry, cut it out, just please cut it out. You were always there for me when we were little. I know that I was never very nice to you. Just please can you do one more thing for me? Please don’t be dead.”
“Come on Raven,” Apollo grabbed my arm to help me to my feet. His voice was hollow and distant, “It’s time to go. We need to leave this place.”
“Let go of me!” I screeched at him as another volley of sobs raked my body. I wrenched my arm away from him and he stepped back. I glared down at Maria, “Why did you have to be so nice to me?! Why did you have to be so nice to everyone?! Why couldn’t I have just hated you? I never meant anything I said, anything I did that hurt you. I can’t take any of it back now, now you’ll never know. I’m sorry I left, I’m sorry I ran away from you and mom and dad.”
“Raven,” I knew Apollo was only trying to help but I didn’t want to hear anything from him right now, “She’s dead, please just leave it. I can’t see you like this.”
“Then leave me alone!” my voice didn’t seem to belong to me. It was so distorted and borderline insane, “Why didn’t you stop me?! She’s my sister and now I killed her. Come on Maria, Maria!”
“You can’t just stay here all night,” Apollo’s words were getting less discernible. All of my focus was on my sister, “Raven!”
I didn’t move, I just sat with the body of my sister in my arms. I pressed my forehead against hers and began to cry again. Why had I killed her if I was just going to react like this? It didn’t make sense. Then I felt a small pain in the side of my neck. When I touched it I realized that Apollo had injected me with something.
“I’m sorry Raven,” I heard him say before I faded out of consciousness.

I awoke sometime later with Apollo sitting on the edge of my bed. “Get away from me,” I growled at him. Then I noticed his eyes, he hadn’t been crying. Apollo never cried but they were tired and sad.
“I’m sorry Raven,” he swallowed hard as he handed me the gift from my sister, “I’m sorry that you had to go through that. I’m sorry that you lost your entire family in that raid.”
“Why did we have to go?” I started to cry again. I thought I had cried all I could but apparently there was still more, “It was out of the way, it was deeper in Nifaria, it was dangerous. Why did Syvimara make us go?”
“You and I, we’re popular here,” Apollo answered softly as I rested my head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and I listened to him and sobbed, “He wanted to show the soldiers exactly who is in charge. You had to kill your family because Syvimara is afraid of us.”
I opened the box that Maria had given me. Inside was a silver necklace with a raven pendant. The raven was shaped from onyx and there was a tiny ruby in its eye. It must have been expensive, especially for her, and I wondered where she had found it. The thought of her taking so much work to get me a gift only made me cry more.
“Listen, Raven,” Apollo finally said after a long stretch of silence, “I’ve decided that I’m leaving. I’m escaping from here tonight and I’m going to find my own way. You can come with me. After yesterday I don’t know how I could stay.”
“You saw during that raid what Syvimara is capable of,” I answered hollowly, “Do you really think you can escape from that. At some point the price will be too high for you to just run away. I don’t know what he could do to me after yesterday but I can’t believe he would have just played his hand. You can’t beat him Apollo.”
“Does that mean you’re staying then?” Apollo seemed to have ignored the content of my response and it only made me angry with him.
“Yes,” I pushed him away from me and he seemed confused at my sudden change of mood. I was glad he was leaving; he was only making me mad anymore, “Now get out of here.”
“Okay,” he seemed taken aback a little and he headed toward the door. When he reached it he turned back, “Goodbye Leah. Maybe we’ll meet again under better circumstances.”
“No,” I answered as I put the necklace around my neck. My face was emotionless, there would be no more crying. Not now, maybe not ever again. I was going to shut myself out, like Apollo seemed so good at doing, “Not Leah anymore, never again. Leah was my old life. Leah was the little girl who got lost in the forest. Leah was the tomboy who was always getting herself into trouble. I’m Raven now, always. Leah is dead, she died with her sister.”