Gnome-Napping | Teen Ink

Gnome-Napping

February 27, 2015
By Anonymous

So here I lie, bound up by a new race of intelligent beings that have not yet been discovered by other people, wondering how my simple walk in the park turned into such an eventful evening. At first, I had thought there was a dog hiding in the bushes, but when something else ran away when I got there, I had to follow it to figure out what I had found. It was fast, whatever it was. As it darted from bush to bush, hiding behind trees every now and then, I struggled to keep up, wondering if I would ever see this strange creature for more than a glimpse. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, I was surrounded by these little gnome-sized beings. Trapped. Speaking in their own language they came in on me, making the arena I was in smaller and smaller, till at last they tied me up with a rope-like material and carried me ant style back to their cave.
  But a little about me, my name is Anders Olsen. I’m 27 years old and I live in a condo in the southern part of Austin. I have a fairly normal life, or at least I did before today, working as a private landscaper with a few other friends from college. We get along well which makes the job almost more fun than work. By marketing ourselves here and there, we find ourselves typically busy during the week with family houses that need yard work, landscaping, or if the person needs help planting and setting up a system for watering their yards. I was suddenly brought back to reality when they brought me a little too close to the rocks and I bumped my head.
After what seemed like hours, I came to the assumption that these creatures are what sparked the idea for garden gnomes. They were about the same height and complexion as the art found in the front of people’s houses. I thought to myself that maybe someone else had discovered the gnomes and made statues of them to warn people that we are not alone in this world. But I digress. They had brought me down into this hidden cave in the park. I couldn’t help but notice the lost dog toys on my way down. The owners must have been quite confused at their dog randomly barking at nothing and then not returning with the toys they threw. As we went further, the cave seemed to level out a little until we came to what seemed like a small village in a cavern. The lights in the houses made it look like a Christmas scene without the fake snow on the ground and the train driving around the course of the town. By the looks of it, we seemed to be a step behind them when it came to technology.
Finally reaching our destination at the headquarters of town, I was surprised to find out that they were talking to me in English. They must have also taken an English book or two in addition to their dog toys in the park. They introduced me to the head gnome, or at least the one in charge of the security of the place. He seemed quite agitated that I had discovered them in their little hideout. Deciding to strike up a conversation with me to see what I knew, he was actually a pretty cool guy. Life for them was fairly similar to life on the upside, except they were in a constant battle between staying hidden and keeping the gremlins out that tried to raid their village every once in a while. He untied me seeing that I wasn’t too big of a threat. We talked for at least another hour before a siren went off. The gremlins were coming. They had been in a feud for years. It seemed that the gnomes were more of the settling down type, whereas the gremlins were a nomadic group. The gnomes had unfortunately settled down in one of their many campsites while the gremlins were away. The city had gone into lockdown it seemed, the security gnome quickly rushed off to his office where he could monitor the little TV screens.
Deciding that even though the gnomes were pretty cool to be around, I thought that now would be the best time for my escape. Quickly running back out of the cave, I got away during all of the commotion the gremlins were causing. After reaching the end of the cave, I looked back over my shoulder and decided to myself that I would visit the gnomes again soon, when I didn’t have work the next day.



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