Nightfall | Teen Ink

Nightfall

May 24, 2010
By itsdariannnn BRONZE, Pensacola Fl, Florida
itsdariannnn BRONZE, Pensacola Fl, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your journey starts with your first step


I look at the world and observe the behavior that comes with night fall. Little children snuggle up to their stuffed companions, young adults spend hours laughing and enjoying themselves at parties, adults fall asleep knowing their bills have just been paid. For everyone, nightfall can bring some form of happiness. Not me. The time that light leaves the earth, my body experiences a feeling that no one can ever possibly bare. But I bare it. When the stars illuminate the sky a pain comes that no one should endure. But I endure it. Although I don’t have the slightest memory of what goes on during the hours of sunlight, I imagine that I pray that night never comes.
Its 6 o’clock now. My torture begins. No one can hear my screams where I live. No one dares to come in the woods at night. No. It’s just me in this cabin. I’m not sure how I got into this endless loop of pain, passing out, waking up at 5; death at 6. I can never escape. The worst part is it is an outer body experience. I watch myself torture…myself. I inflict the pain that I fear every night. I cause the agony that leaves my body mangled, bruised, and lifeless. It begins now. Someone save me from this misery.
I see my long skinny legs walking over to the trunk in the corner of the room and pull out what seems to be a long climbing rope. Before I can fight back, the evil part of me wraps the rope around my neck. I hear myself beg for mercy but evil never shows remorse or signs of being human. She wrapped the rope around my neck and choked me until no words could ever leave my pale lips again. Before life leaves my motionless body, she revives me.

All night I am tortured. Not once am I let alone to die. Dawn comes and I use my last bit of strength to crack a smile for I know the torture stops when the sun hits the earth. Light breaks threw the windows and I expect for my body to fall into a deep sleep, as it does every morning after a long night of torture. But this morning is different. I’m awake. Does this mean the loop is broken? Am I finally free to leave this God forsaken cabin? My thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door. Opening it I see a young woman with long red hair greeting me with her smile.

“Hi I’m lost and I stumbled upon your cabin” said the hiking beauty.

Something in me snapped and I grabbed the poor girl and I sat her in the chair I had just spent my dreadful night in. I walked over to the trunk in the corner and pulled out a long climbing rope. I wrapped the rope around her neck. I herd her beg for mercy but I didn’t show remorse, I wasn’t human. I choked her until no words could ever leave her lips again. Then darkness swept over me.

Its 6 o’clock now. My torture begins. No one can hear my screams in this cabin. I cause the agony that leaves my body mangled, bruised and lifeless. It begins now. Someone save me from my misery. I watch myself take a knife from the trunk in the corner of the room. I stab parts of my body that will bleed but won’t kill me. I laugh at the tears that run down my face. By time dawn comes I am tired, bloody and I lost a lot of appendages. But I’m not dead. The sun beams into the window and I hear a knock at the door.

A young boy with curly brown hair sees that I’m hurt when I answer the door. But something snaps and I sit him in the chair that is stained with my own blood. I walk to the trunk and get a knife.

I cause the agony that leaves my body mangled bruised and lifeless. It begins now. Someone save me from…me.



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This article has 9 comments.


lamelola GOLD said...
on Aug. 27 2010 at 11:25 pm
lamelola GOLD, Wichita, Kansas
14 articles 19 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
The problem is, you think you have time.

This. Is. Sooooo. Good :D *applauses*

on Aug. 26 2010 at 12:21 pm
NeverFallTooHard PLATINUM, Hartford, Wisconsin
24 articles 5 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
Reason is powerless in the expression of Love.~ Rumi<br /> Realisim, in painting, is what one wants to see, not what they really see. ~ Janet Fish

This is really good! Amazing! And i understand, the despair, the pain, it's all described so beautifully! Please make a second one!

Diana101 GOLD said...
on Aug. 21 2010 at 3:11 pm
Diana101 GOLD, Grove City, Ohio
13 articles 0 photos 107 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;God&#039;s delays are not God&#039;s denials&quot;

Oh my, this story was incredible! Amazing! Wonderful!

I really want to read a Part 2! You have great talent. If you write a novel someday I want to buy it!!!!


TerraTAZz GOLD said...
on Jul. 12 2010 at 1:57 am
TerraTAZz GOLD, Sapulpa, Oklahoma
18 articles 3 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody goes through life without a scar.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> -carol burnett

I love it! You had me hooked from the first line. I love the way the story flows. It's amazing! You have talent. Keep writing, I am a Big Fan!!

on Jun. 11 2010 at 8:36 pm
irrara12 BRONZE, Columbia, Maryland
3 articles 2 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
not all who wander are lost-jrr tolkien

wow, really good, and unique

on Jun. 7 2010 at 9:47 am
Authorgal98 GOLD, Frankort, Illinois
17 articles 0 photos 194 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Let your mind sart a journey through a strange new world...&quot;

This is really good. But why is he bound to the cabinb? The pain? Beuatiful job describing it, by the way.

on Jun. 7 2010 at 9:25 am
Secret_Love_Tells GOLD, Harrisonburg, Virginia
15 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love you more than the sun loves the sky and the moon loves the stars&quot; --my best friend<br /> &quot;Do it for love.&quot; --sark<br /> &quot;One does not succeed in never falling but in getting back up evertime they do so.&quot;- Confucius

This is really really good! I can't write stuff like that... I'm not good with describing pain... ha. yeah not at all...

on Jun. 6 2010 at 3:00 pm
itsdariannnn BRONZE, Pensacola Fl, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your journey starts with your first step

omg thank ypu for the feedback. but yeah i understand it is depressing but thats what i wanted to convey. it was her HEL. or atleast my take on it you know? thanks

on Jun. 6 2010 at 11:29 am
livtheawesome BRONZE, Evergreen, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
There&#039;s nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein. ~Walter Wellesley &quot;Red&quot; Smith

Wow. This story is completely enchanting, and definitely gets my attention. I like the way the girl is put into separate positions of the story, and the way that she feels that she is stuck in a cycle. However, the reason that I didn't give it five stars is because it is so depressing. That may be the way the story is, but it leaves me feeling sad and droopy. You may want to change the ending to show that she has made some progress, and that she is at least beginining to break the chain. However, every person has a different writing style, and you are free to create it however you feel like it. Overall, great job! I really loved how hooking the story was! It made me forget where I was, and I felt as if I was in her position. You have an awesome talent! :-)