It’s been sixteen months that I have lived with this horror so I have to tell someone about this.

Throughout my whole life I had never experienced love and never understood what love meant. I was neglected as a child from my own parents and did not bother to help me in anyting. I never had a girlfriend my whole life which means that I never knew what the comfort of someone real felt like. I never had a friend except for one; her name was Sarah. There was only one difference from her and the rest of the people, she was always shy and people never really noticed her. That was because she was imaginary.

Sarah was beautiful, dark brown hair and caramel skin. She came to me and became my only friend when I was at the deep into my own darkness.

As soon as I entered the tenth grade, people began acknowledge my existence; I made new friends, real friends. When I became more well-known and I was finally experiencing what happiness felt like, then Sarah disappeared.

Then, one night Sarah came to me and told me, “You know that they are not your real friends, they will one day leave you and you will become lonely all over again.”

“Be quiet Sarah,” I told her. “I am finally happy, they truly do care about me!”

She stayed silent then responded, “Just know that I will always be with you,” and disappeared back into the depths in my mind.

A few months passed and I did not see nor hear Sarah which made me feel as if she understood that I was happy.

Back at school one of my friends, Joshua told me, “Dude, to be honest you’re not the ugliest kid around. You’re actually an awesome guy. We need to find you a girl.”

I was shocked that he told me that and it also boosted my self esteem. I was invited to his party that he held in hopes of inviting a girl that I might have a chance with. At the party I met a girl named Joanna. She had light brown skin, a beautiful smile, radiant green eyes, and dark brown hair. She was the most beautiful girl that I have ever laid my eyes on. She set her eyes on me and walked towards me.

“Hello, you’re Kevin right?” She asked me.

“Yes. you’re Joanna right?” I knew who she was because back in school I have seen her around but not as close as how I was with her at that moment. We talked all night and the next day we continued talking. She was the most amazing girl that I have ever met. I did not feel alone when I was with her.

“Is this love?” I asked myself. One day I finally got the courage to ask her out. To my surprise she said yes. Two days into our relationship she kissed me and my life went uphill from there. I had more friends and the world?s greatest girlfriend at my side, I just loved my life.

One night, Joanna and I were at her room alone and told me that she was “ready”. I was surprised to hear this because I did not know that we would reach that point so soon. I mean, it had only been six months! Regardless, we did it and I fell asleep with her that night. I woke up at one in the morning, I looked at Joanna and to my horror I saw something that I would never have imagined to see. Joanna was drenched in blood with a deep wound in her chest. On top of her was Sarah holding a bloody knife, she looked different from before. She had pale skin, black hair and piercing red eyes. She looked back at me and told me, “Kevin you do not need her… You only need me. Me and ONLY ME!”

“NOOOO!!!!” I screamed at her and tried to grab her, to kill her, but she disappeared. That night I held Joanna deep in my arms. The shock of her death made me go unconscious. As soon as I woke up I was laying on my bed. I turned to where Joanna’s body was at but this time the bed was empty. There was no blood. I heard her bathroom shower go off. I ran to see who that was. I opened the door and saw Joanna with a smile on her face, unhurt, alive. I ran to her and held her in my arms and sobbed my eyes out.

“Oh my God, Joanna!” I screamed with joy. She looked at me with a worried look and asked me what was wrong so I told her about my nightmare excluding the part about Sarah. I did not tell her about Sarah fearing that she might call me a freak and leaving me. She held me tight and told me everything would be OK and nothing will tear us apart. I looked towards the mirror and I saw Sarah’s reflection behind mind. Her red eyes looking right at me.

“Leave me alone,” I told her silently.

“I am the only one you will ever need, Kevin,” she said, then disappeared.

After that moment I began to see Sarah everywhere; out my window, in my classes, in my mirrors I could not stop thinking about her, I could not stop thinking about how horrible she looked, so menacing, so malevolent. She would not leave me alone, constantly looking more horrific than before and always saying those words. “You do not need anyone. You only need me and only me.”

I was slowly drifting away from my friends in fear that if they knew what was wrong with me they would label me as a freak and would abandon me. Then Joanna invited me to her house because she needed to talk. I feared the worst, that she would want to break up with me. As I fearfully walked to Joanna’s house, Sarah appeared next to me.

“She is going to leave you, Kevin. Do not go and break up with her later.” She told me.

“No. I will not break up with her maybe she will want to comfort me like how she always does. Not break up with me.” I replied.

She stopped in front of me and said, “Listen to me, Kevin! I want to help you from being lonely again!”

“Shut up and leave me alone!” I scolded at her. As I reached her house, she was gone. I went inside and there was a note on the table. the note read. “I will be home soon, baby. Just wait around okay?:) I love you very much. <3?. This calmed my nerves. As I sat down Sarah appeared behind me. She walked towards me and sat on top of me.

“Kevin, listen to me! She does not love you. She does not know you like how I know you! Leave now!” She began to hold me tighter and tighter to the point where she was crushing my lungs.

“Get off of me!!” I pushed her away and she slammed against the table. She became tangible now

“This is my chance” I told myself. I grabbed one of the legs of the table, broke it off an headed towards the witch, Sarah.

As I got near her, voices in my head began to yell, “DO IT KEVIN! FINISHED HER OFF AND YOU WILL BE FREE FROM HER!” I did not need to hesitate. I smashed the blunt end of the leg straight to her head. She fell to the ground and Sarah said, “DON’T DO THIS. YOU NEED ME!”

I ignored her and struck the final blow. She fell to the ground emotionless.

Then, he black hair and pale skin blurred away. Her skin turned light brown, her hair went dark brown. She looked like… like… JOANNA!

I screamed to the top of my lungs, “OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE!”

I just killed the only person that loved me! The last person that cared for me!

I rushed to her tried to wake her up but to no avail! She laid there motionless, dead, just like in my nightmare but this is real! What have I done?!

“This was all Sarah’s fault she made me do this! Where is she?!” I told myself.

My screams alerted the neighbors because the police showed up shortly after I was sobbing near her, hold her in my arms. I was taken into custody and put into questioning. I told them that I had no idea what happened. They took the bait and believed that I walked in on Joanna’s motionless body. But I know the truth, the real truth. That I killed my first and only love! Ruined my life and hers. The police placed me into psychiatric help to prevent any further trauma. When I was in the room the doctor was holding my medical records.

“So how is the schizophrenia?” The doctor asked.

“Schizophrenia?” I replied.

“It says here that when you were five you were diagnosed with schizophrenia.” He showed me the record and it DID say that I was diagnosed with it and was reportedly known for me to talk to myself. My parents did not tell me, I was never under any medication which only progressed it. Sarah was created from my own mind. She became more horrific because I was never treated for my illness… She was and always has been a part of me.