Freak | Teen Ink

Freak

July 14, 2015
By PraireDog BRONZE, Aberdeen, South Dakota
PraireDog BRONZE, Aberdeen, South Dakota
3 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you want to see in the world&quot;<br /> -Mahatma Ghandi


I’d always been afraid of mirrors
Not in the normal way that most Americans scurry past their reflection at night, but in a senseless, terrified way. When I was nine, I stopped looking at my reflection almost completely, terrified that it might be a stranger. When I brushed my teeth, I always did so with my back facing the medicine cabinet that held the mirror, I also rushed through showers or anything else involving the restroom. My fear remained a secret until I was ten years old, playing Truth or Dare with my longtime best friend. I mistakenly chickened of a dare out and chose Truth.
“What’s your biggest fear?” Tasha asked.
I contemplated lying to her. It’s only Tasha, I thought. I’m sure her biggest fear is just as silly. So I told her.
“What?” she laughed. “You’re such a freak, Charlotte oh my God!” She kept laughing and I snapped. “It’s not that funny!” I stormed off.
The next Monday, everyone at my school knew about it. Tasha had told everyone my secret because I had lashed out at her. I didn’t worry very much because I thought my classmates would forget within a week, but a week went by. Then two weeks. Then a month. Then two months.
Approximately ten weeks after my secret was let out I sat in my school desk, drawing an elephant to pass time. By then, most teasing had stopped, so I thought I had nothing to worry about when I rushed to the bathroom at the sound of the lunch bell.
I was so occupied with counting the tiles in front of me that I failed to notice Tasha and two girls whom I didn’t know well following me. When I opened the bathroom door, the two girls rushed in and shut off the lights while Tasha, my old friend, held the door closed tight. They grabbed my face and forced me to look at my reflection while laughing and chanting “Bloody Mary.” I started to cry and scream but they didn’t release me until a teacher opened the door.
“What in God’s name is going on in here?” Mrs. Meyers yelled. The girls froze and I could hear Tasha’s footsteps sprinting away.
“Uh nothing,” the thin blonde girl said. “We were just playing a game, right Charlotte?”
I didn’t want to get in trouble, and I certainly wanted the bullying to stop so
I shook my head yes.
Mrs. Meyers looked unconvinced. “Well,” she said, “All three of you need to get to lunch immediately and quiet down. Next time I’m sending you all to the principal’s office and phoning your parents.”

That night, I decided to do something about my irrational phobia. I was tired of having to look away from mirrors in school restrooms, clothing stores, even my own bathroom and hallway and most of all, I was tired of being a “freak”. I looked up Ways to reverse phobias online. After approximately an hour of searching the web, I finally found a helpful website.
The site contained an old legend that said “those who fear their reflection only fear themselves. And therefore fear what they are capable of” It went on to say that people with phobias similar to mine had killed someone, or done something equally horrific in their past lives. It said that the only way to cure the fear was to take your weakness, allergy, or something that makes you ill and hold it in front of a mirror. If your reflection stands still then you are safe and cured. But if it shies away or moves, you’re done for. No one knows what happens to those unlucky few. Just gone without a trace.
Being a superstitious person, I decided to give it a try. The next morning my allergies were acting up so I picked flowers filled with pollen from my yard after my mom left.
I took a deep breath as I walked to the full length mirror outside my parent’s bedroom and held the flowers in front of me. I looked at myself for a while and noticed things that I hadn’t before. Freckles, zits, bruises on my elbows. Focus, I thought. I tried to resist the urge to sneeze or cough.
Thankfully, I did.
I let out a sigh of relief and walked to the couch. I was cured. I was invincible. I was no longer a freak.
I was so relieved that I almost didn’t hear the loud sneeze come from the hallway and the laughter that followed.



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This article has 9 comments.


on Dec. 25 2015 at 2:12 pm
PraireDog BRONZE, Aberdeen, South Dakota
3 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you want to see in the world&quot;<br /> -Mahatma Ghandi

Thank you very much! I'll keep this in mind when i edit the story, @SkippyPeanutbutter

on Jul. 30 2015 at 12:55 pm
SkippyPeanutbutter SILVER, Utrecht, Other
9 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Happiness can be found, even at the darkest of times. If one only remembers to turn on the light.&quot; -Albus Dumbledore<br /> &quot;We&#039;re all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?&quot; -the Eleventh Doctor

I like the way you write, however I do think you could use more details. Especially in a thriller story, details could create suspense. The idea was also really interesting and I think you should just give this story another try because this is a really promising story. Keep up the writing!!

stenova BRONZE said...
on Jul. 26 2015 at 10:57 pm
stenova BRONZE, Trumbull, Connecticut
4 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;&#039;Tis not in mortals to command success, but we&#039;ll do more, Sempronius- we&#039;ll deserve it.&quot;

I agree with a lot of what others are saying, the idea is awesome but could use a little more detail and refining. Perhaps you could use some more- and sorry for sounding like a teacher- "show not tell" as you say a lot of things. I think with some metaphors and symbolism, this story would really be improved, along with a stronger theme. However, you have a LOT of promise, and I think you will really improve as a writer as you practice more. I can't wait to read more of your work, great job!! :)

on Jul. 21 2015 at 11:48 pm
PraireDog BRONZE, Aberdeen, South Dakota
3 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you want to see in the world&quot;<br /> -Mahatma Ghandi

Thank you!

Beila BRONZE said...
on Jul. 21 2015 at 3:30 am
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.&quot; -Mark Twain

I'll just chime in on what Jc543 said: flesh it out. I especially agree that more vivid descriptions--imagery and significant details--would add a lot of character to the story and move it beyond just the "predictable" nature of the basic plot. Good luck in future writing!

on Jul. 19 2015 at 10:59 pm
PraireDog BRONZE, Aberdeen, South Dakota
3 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you want to see in the world&quot;<br /> -Mahatma Ghandi

Thank you I'll try to use your suggestions for my next story or even editing this one. Thank you for your help :)

Jc543 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 18 2015 at 3:20 pm
Jc543 BRONZE, Bronx, NY, New York
3 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man&#039;s character, give him power.&quot;

To begin with, the story needs to be "fleshed out." As the other commenter mentioned your premise is indeed interesting, yet it lacks engaging characters that move the story forward. The relationship between Tasha and the protagonist could have had more depth which would have allowed Tasha's betrayal to be a bit more interesting. In addition, to make this story more creepier and scary, vivid descriptions can prove to be a helpful tool. The story has a solid idea, but it needs to be executed in a more engaging way.

on Jul. 17 2015 at 10:22 pm
PraireDog BRONZE, Aberdeen, South Dakota
3 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be the change you want to see in the world&quot;<br /> -Mahatma Ghandi

Wow thank you! Thank you so much for giving me honest feedback. Now that I read your comment I agree with what you're saying about it being pretty unoriginal. I'll certainly work on it. :)

on Jul. 17 2015 at 9:09 pm
KatalyticReaction GOLD, Frisco, Texas
17 articles 1 photo 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;We need more completely sane people doing completely crazy things.&rdquo; -Hank Green

While the premise is vaguely interesting, the plot is predictable and not at all surprising in the way that horror stories tend to be. Horror is supposed to be mysterious and haunting; it leaves marks on readers long after it has been read, even if the story itself is forgotten. The idea of mirrors and reflections being separate from their people isn't original and has been overused in so many overlapping myths and stories. The fact that you included the two ways the story could end- one being a more cliche horror trope and the other being a perfectly normal thing to happen- didn't make it hard to predict what happened next. I think you have a lot of potential as a writer, and I suggest that you keep on doing it. You'll get better as you write more and get more feedback. I also suggest reading more books, because a great writer reads. Anyways, good job for your first article(?). And good luck in your future endeavors.