We all have been in those school gatherings where our teachers preach to us that if we see bullying we need to speak up, get help, and that we can always trust an adult...but the reality is that...a small minority of people actually do that. Most of us deal with our problems our own ways...and sometI'mes its not the best choice, but its our choice.
I was the victI'm of bullying for years. Being told that I should just kill myself, and when depression finally got the better of me, my friends all deserted me. I was totally alone, and i had nobody to go to. This is the beginning of something that i was going to have no power over...no matter how hard i tried.
I resorted to cutting, and whenever i talk about it, nobody seems to understand, even former cutters who have done it before...its a complex thing to understand. The feeling of the physical pain seemed to dull the mental and emotional pain that i felt daily. I became somewhat of an addict to it. I began to cut whenever i could, school, home, anywhere. My parents had no idea, and i kept the evidence well hidden.
The constant feelings of not being good enough for my friends, for my school or even for life in general. Nobody at school seemed to know and they just added to the pain and pressure. I started hearing rumors go around about me sleeping with other guys, guys way older than me, and other peoples boyfriends. i was a virgin at the tI'me and dating was extremely hard for me then.
When i finally got the courage to try and get my old friends back, i was rejected like a disease. I was yelled at, told to kill myself, and there even was a blog on the Internet about me...
It felt like nothing was going to get better...I finally couldn't handle any of it anymore, and came up with my ultI'mate plan...when spring break came, I would be the person to not come back...ever. I had it all planned out, from the tI'me, location and even a note.

The thing that finally stopped me from doing my ultI'mate plan was when learned that there were people out there who weren't shrinks and therapists, who weren't going to give me medicine or tell me that I'm just going through a phase..there were people out there who understood my pain, and understood the reasoning for my ultI'mate plan. They saved me. I didn't have to write in a journal, i didn't have to tell my wrists and arms, and i didn't have to deal with it alone anymore.
I had people who had never seen me face to face, had never even heard my voice...they had just seen the print on their computer screens, and they seemed to know more about me than anyone else in the world.

When my friends had finally apologized for how they acted, they were shocked when i finally told them about my ultI'mate plan...they cried and told me they would miss me...

the moral of my personal story is this: If your friend(s) is going through a tI'me of depression, or anything like that...be their friend through it all, don't be judgemental, and be the best damn friend that you can be...because you never know when it will be the last tI'me you see them...and that can be when you realize just how much they mean to you...