Fitting In | Teen Ink

Fitting In MAG

By MonicaMS BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
MonicaMS BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

I wouldn't ask for a dressing room. My mom always asked for me.
The evening before I had repeatedly risen from my seat and piled on excess noodles suffocated in meat sauce. Then I licked my bowl with the buttered garlic bread, leaving no evidence of the four servings I had inhaled. In the morning I would be forced to lie on my bed and suck in my stomach just to button my jeans. I dreaded school shopping. The sale rack, with its slender size markers, knew my number continued to bloat.

I learned how to eat from my dad: fast and without thinking. In our house, the dinner table involved battle, with the children on defense. One false move and our dinner would be snatched off our plates without warning and gobbled up by our father faster than we could blink. We soon learned to keep a hand up while devouring our chicken strips, and if Mom decided to cook that night we needed to hurry and get seconds before it was gone.

Only one pair of jeans I tried on fit. I lied and told my mother I could button every pair but only needed the jeans that lay guarded in my hands. We walked to the checkout.

I kept my head down as we passed a group of girls. They whispered. I glanced up only long enough to know my place. Their eyes cut at me, hands cupped over their mouths in secrecy.


The recess bell rang and I followed two girls in my third grade class out past the monkey bars to the fenced grassy area. We all wore the same clothes that year: khaki pants and polo shirts. Everyone was the same, or that was the idea.

“I like your pants. Where did you get them?” Marcy asked Alicia. I nodded in agreement, thankful they had removed their cupped hands and I could hear the conversation.

“Really? I like yours better,” Alicia replied.

“We should trade. What size are you?” Marcy asked.

“I don't know …” Alicia said, finding the tag in the back of her pants. “Seven.”

“Me too,” Marcy said.


I hid in line as I held the jeans, tag folded in so nobody could see the number inscribed on it was 12. I am not a size seven.

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This article has 348 comments.

on Sep. 18 2010 at 5:34 pm
Sophia-Lynn Ellis SILVER, Mattapoisett, Massachusetts
7 articles 0 photos 3 comments
Wow! this was such an amazing peice! I look up to you to be brave enough to talk about how uncomfortable you feel about yourself. but please do remember everyone is beautiful in there own way :]

gabbers88 said...
on Sep. 17 2010 at 8:02 pm
I had a similar problem when I was in 4th grade. I am really tall 5 foot 2, taller than all the girls in my class. I was a size 14 and cautious about that my size was different from everyone else's size. They were all 8's and 10's and i felt like i was a fat freak. But now when i look back on pictures i was really skinny but just tall, I shouldnt have let that problem consume myself. Everyone is different.

on Sep. 17 2010 at 7:11 pm
freewriter_123 SILVER, Miramar, Florida
6 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door." ;)

You shouldnt feel so self concious! Even though I havent seen you im pretty sure that your wright isnt as bad as you say it is. Even though I cant realte (I cant even fit into a double zero yet and i'm 14!) I have friends who have similar problems.

on Sep. 17 2010 at 4:34 pm
deus-ex-machina14 BRONZE, Stewartsville, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 439 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There are two main tragedies in life. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." -Oscar Wilde

Don't get down on yourself about that!! Anyone that laughs at you or anything like that is below you and not worth your time. Great job writing!!

on Sep. 6 2010 at 1:37 am
LiveItUpGodsWay SILVER, Tomball, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Fall for someone that wont break your heart. (i made that up)

thats really goood!

on Sep. 5 2010 at 6:42 pm
meganwagner21 PLATINUM, Old Bridge, New Jersey
42 articles 0 photos 139 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sometimes good things have to fall apart so better things can fall together." -Marilyn Monroe
"Nobody can go back and make a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." -Maria Robinson

i can really relate to this. i had trouble going pants shopping, and to hear that im not alone is incredible. u r beautiful. it comes in all shapes and sizes. great job

HaleyHottie said...
on Aug. 30 2010 at 4:05 pm
I was a size 12 in 7th grade. I'm the skinniest person you'll ever meet. Youre not fat, dont let anyone tell you otherwise. Remember that the people that treat you this way have to be jealous of something they dont have and you do. Know in yourself that you are beautiful no matter what anyone tells you. Love yourself for you. {;

on Aug. 30 2010 at 2:17 am
shayna101 SILVER, Carlsbad, California
5 articles 0 photos 35 comments
amazing writing.. it was truly inspiring. I really loved who you described the battle at dinner time with your dad stealing your food before you could blink. It made you realize how she had insecurities to begin with. I also loved the scene at the mall when she felt like the girls were talking about her. I could feel her insecurity and pain. I could feel her longing to be accepted. Absolutely brilliant. Keep writing

Atticus SILVER said...
on Aug. 26 2010 at 9:32 pm
Atticus SILVER, Wenatchee, Washington
6 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
She deserves to be written~

Very well put this entire scene. I like how you describe the dinner table and how you describe everything. I personally do not consider 12 as fat and it's sad when people believe it.

on Aug. 26 2010 at 9:15 am
Chakra,C. BRONZE, New York, New York
2 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." -Albert Einstein

Oh, sorry. i didn't realize that I had posted it twice. My bad.

on Aug. 26 2010 at 9:12 am
Chakra,C. BRONZE, New York, New York
2 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." -Albert Einstein

That was fascinating. I admire your straight-forward narration which gets the point across easily. Most people don't relize that they don't need to stuff in a lot of unnecessarily complicated words to tell a good story, fiction or not.

I liked your description of the family dinner time: "I learned how to eat from my dad: fast and without thinking. In our house, the dinner table involved battle, with the chilren on defense. One false move and our dinner would be snatched off our plates without warning and gobbled up by our father faster than we could blink." Great illustration of the cause and later its unfortunate effects

I just realized that the narrator is in third grade. That's sad, people shouldn't care so much about weight at such a young age. And yet they do.


fiteme said...
on Aug. 26 2010 at 12:38 am
fiteme, Kaneohe, Hawaii
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
This was amazing.  I'm ecstatic that someone has finally been able to capture how it feels to be ostracized because of size.  Good work.

on Aug. 22 2010 at 11:35 am
Katie_Potatie PLATINUM, Leavenworth, Kansas
36 articles 1 photo 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are no regrets in my life; because there is no time for mistakes. -(ME) Katie quote

Its perfect. Wow. Amazing. I...I love it..=)

on Aug. 8 2010 at 7:56 am
DifferentTeen PLATINUM, Seaford, Delaware
32 articles 2 photos 329 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There’s no such thing as true love, just spurts of insanity—falling over and over again, thinking that won’t happen to me"

I loved how its not a typical girls point of view, very different. Great Job, keep writing!

Check out some of my work?

on Aug. 4 2010 at 5:41 pm
MercedesXO DIAMOND, South Easton, Massachusetts
52 articles 0 photos 280 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I realize that life is risks. It's acknowledging the past but looking forward. It's taking chances that we will make mistakes but believeing we all deserve to be forgiven."
-The Dead Tossed Waves.

 I love this. I wish it were a bit longer, because I really appriciate your writing. great story with a lot of feeling and truth behind it.

id love for you (and anyone else reading this) to read and comment on some of my work telling me what you think! especially my poem

'Tortuer of a King'. appriciated:)

on Aug. 4 2010 at 4:25 pm
pageturner PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York
34 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's okay to daydream.. just as long as you get to do some of those daydreams.

Nice article. I know exactly how hard it is to find clothes that are right for me.


on Aug. 4 2010 at 12:17 pm
KourtneyBriann BRONZE, Niles, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 90 comments
This is goo. Great job! Plzzzzzzzzz everyone give me some feedback on my work. I really need and appreciate it!!! Thanx (:

on Aug. 4 2010 at 10:17 am
writergirl13 GOLD, Cherry Hill, New Jersey
11 articles 8 photos 261 comments

Favorite Quote:
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
Ambrose Bierce

It's very realistic and true, but it is also written with character and emotion. I like it. :)

on Aug. 4 2010 at 6:51 am
sarakate SILVER, Mechanicsville, Virginia
6 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I\'d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.”
Kurt Cobain

i like it :) it has a realistic edge on girl's body image, even at a young age. I would either up the age or change the sizes around a bit because that did seem a litrtle off, but overall it was very good. keep writing!

on Aug. 4 2010 at 12:59 am SILVER, Spring Lake Park, Minnesota
7 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Excuses are like BUTT HOLES, they stink and everyone has one." ~Mr.Bogle (my math teacher)

a size 7 is 3rd grade. now that's anorexia if u were a 12 in 3rd grade that's normal. You're not fat. My mom would buy me pants w/o trying them on. She'd be like, "you go up a size each yr until u reach junior sizes then we need to figure out ur size."

so Kindergarten size 6

first grade size 8

and so on...