On December 22, 2014, my uncle remarried and I gained a new aunt. Not only was I upset but I was furious. I couldn’t stand to look Kodi in his eyes. Seeing my first aunt in the hospital was devastating. The room was freezing and all white walls with warm blankets to cover. She cried rivers all day long. She didn’t properly eat her meals. It had felt as if she had been hit by a bus. I was sitting in the room and all of sudden she leaned over and placed something in the palm of my hand. Then she began to ball my fingers up back into a fist positioned right over my heart. I slowly released my hands to see what the object was. A beautiful diamond silver necklace. One of those shiny glares you see in a camera; expensive.

“I can’t accept this” were the last words I got to say to her. My uncle had come and dragged me out of visitation. One of my family members had to call him to know my location. He approached me menacingly. As he spoke, his voice was cracked. He was so angry that I thought his skin was boiling. I turned to see my aunt’s expression. Her stare was deep and tears welled up out of her eyes. If the word was agony, nobody could express how she felt. Her heart was ripped out of her body. 14 years was down the drain. I looked down at the necklace and told myself “I am my aunt’s keeper”.

After that day I never saw her again. It had almost been 3 years. I don’t even know if it was her plan to shut all of us out. Maybe she was going through her healing stage. I call her every once in a while but it’s always answering machine that I talk to. It almost feels as if I was never her niece. Every day I pray that I will get a phone call from her. I may not talk to her but she holds a special place in my heart. My family hardly brings her up but I do. Not at times where it would be disrespectful.

I remember this one time my aunt got me for the whole spring break. She had our whole schedule planned out. She and my uncle had stayed in a trailer, but not one of those boring old trailers either, it was definitely a customized one. The outside was purple and white. Whoever went to Pearland, Texas knew that was Debbie and Kodi’s residence. That was the best spring break ever. One of my favorite things we did was go to a factory where it blows out snow. That was actually the best last memory I had with her. If smiles were dollars, we would have billions.

Without her being here today I feel like all of our holidays are different. Not that anything was wrong with the new change but it’s awkward. For an example at Christmas, the whole family gets together. Were all scattered throughout Texas or in a different state. So on December 25th, we all come together and unite as one. We do traditional games that my grandma puts together that consist of questions that can be answered within the family. Not too many outsiders would know any of the answers. Usually there is a thousand dollars on the tree. Get the answer right and you get to money off the tree. Well as were playing the game it’s awkward because my new aunt Helen doesn’t know what she was doing. Eventually she will adapt but it’s not the same as Aunt Debbie. Then I have his thing to where it’s hard for me to get use to new people.

I never take the necklace off. I go to sleep and wake up with it on. I take showers with it on. I wouldn’t even care if it started turning green I would still wear it. No matter what my outfit is I still wear it. I could have on all gold accessories and I’m still wearing my necklace. All my friends always ask me “why do you always wear that necklace it does not match”. I always ignore it though as long as they know it means something to me. I feel like when I wear it then she is with me in some kind of way. I’ve known her ever since I came out the womb. Words couldn’t even describe how I feel that she is not here.