I stood there. The girl everyone saw with glassy blue eyes, a beautiful figure, and a smile that nobody's could match. The way I came to be like this, is what no one knows. Fifteen years old and just now realizing what this dangerous, exciting world is all about. I took my first blow when I was Fourteen. "Come on baby, there's no harm." He led me in. It felt like nothing i've ever felt before. Absolutely nothing could compare. I had to have more. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Before everything happened, I had straight A's, more friends than I could count, a family who loved and trusted me, and respect from most everyone I met. Little did I know, i would lose this all.
It might help if i started from the beginning. One day after school, I was walking home with my best friend, Alana. We decided to stop at the gas station to get some drinks, after we bought our stuff, outside the door there was a gorgeous guy smiling at us. I whispered to my friend this and she insisted we talked to him. So, We went up and introduced ourselves, and learned his name was Justin. He smiled even bigger and asked if we needed a ride home. "Sure," Alexa and I exclaimed at the same time. We took us back to my house and when we were leaving I got his phone number. That night he called me and asked if I could sneak out, never having done this, I was really worried, but I did it anyway. He picked me up and we went to a park. As we were sitting there, he asked me if I wanted to fly. Not knowning what he meant I told him that I did. He told out a white bag and a little straw and he told me to inhale the white stuff with the straw. I did. Immediately, I was in the clouds. No, I was with the stars. I can remember every single detail of that night, that was my first encounter with "Magic." In the following months, Justin took me to countless parties and introduced me to people who played with magic, too. I quit eating because being speedy all the time never made me want to eat.
I never spoke a word to my old friends about this, and Alexa has no idea I ever hung out with Justin after that first time. My old friends weren't blind tough. They noticed all the weight i was losing, and how i never hung out with them anymore. At school, I never talked and I slept in all of my classes, My teachers didn't think anything of it because I didn't usually participate in class activities in the first place. Finally summer came and I think this was when i completely lost myself. My parents weren't really ever in town because of their business and my older sister was suppose to stay with me but she stayed with her boyfriend most of the time. Justin came over almost every night and brought the party with him. When I say party, I don't mean loads of people, music, dancing, or whatever you may think of. When I say party, I mean our magic carpet ride.
After weeks of this, One week, Justin didn't come. Or the next week. Or the next. He called me one night in August and told me he was in jail. No need to ask why. I had other friends, other dealers. When i couldn't get ahold of them,
I literally went crazy. I lost patches of hair, and I have tons of scars on my body because I thought I could see bugs crawling around in my skin. I was sucked in by a monster and it wouldn't let go of me. My life had been turned inside out. One night, while my parents were at home, I shot a couple lines in my bathroom, I passed out on the floor and woke up in the hospital. I weighed less than 90 pounds and my parents saw the scars on my body. They found the junk in my blood, and immediately I was sent into rehab. Here I am now, writing this. I'm losing myself. I don't know what to do. Losing....







I never finished this note to myself. I've been clean for eleven months now, Methamphetamine, or "Magic" as I called it, Ruins your life. Be careful.