Forgiving Is The Key


I’m sure people have heard the saying “To forgive but to not forget.” To me that’s just another way of not forgiving someone, because it’s keeping the past in your thoughts. Forgiving someone is a big step in life, especially when someone has done something horrible to you, but it’s the right thing to do. No matter how horrendous the person has treated you, or those mean things that the girl that sits next to you has said to her friends, or even someone you once called a best friend talking about you behind you back, it doesn’t matter the situation, forgiving them is the best policy. In the end, you’ll feel better about yourself, because you’re the bigger person.

I’ve gone through many situations where I thought that there was no chance that I would ever forgive my friend Jazmine. I usually don’t like to talk about how our past has been, but it’s something that needs to be recognized. I’ve known her since first grade, she was my best friend since the day that we met. I grew up with her and experienced so many new things in life with her. When we were younger, Jazmine always had a negative outlook on everything. From my perspective, I would consider her a compulsive liar because she would lie about everything, such as little incidents, serious topics, and things that we would talk about occasionally.

One time was when we were in 7th grade, it was the first day of school, and she was extremely happy and funny in the morning, but later on in the day she got very upset and depressed for some odd reason. I asked her what was wrong with her, and she pulled me aside and told me that she was raped by her next door neighbor. I was so shocked and scared for her, my first reaction was to tell an adult or someone that could do something about it, but she didn’t want to. We went through our 7th grade year without talking about it, and during our 8th grade year, the same topic came up in one of our conversations when we were with a whole bunch of our friends. I personally thought that she would tell the story the exact same way she told me the year before, but the story that she described the second time was completely different from the first one.

Even though she lied about getting raped, I was there right by her side to forgive her. She was suppose to be my best friend, but I thought that it was very odd how she would ignore me for 2 weeks at a time for no apparent reason, she would tell me that she was “in her own little world” and she didn’t feel like talking to anyone, but I was the only one who she didn’t talk too. Even after all of that, I was still there to forgive her.

During the summer of 2007, we got into a huge argument, and we didn’t talk for 3 months, but I was the one to apologize and try to talk to her. This past year, we’ve gone our separate ways and were both okay with it. It was during the summer that we stopped talking as much as we used too because she lied to me about being pregnant twice to my face. When I found out the first time I confronted her and she told me that it was a lie to get a girl jealous, I thought it was a excuse, but I believed her, later on that week, she posted a bulletin on a website called “Myspace”. I read the bulletin that she posted and it was about what names she should have for the baby that she was having. I finally got fed up with her lies after 10 long years, and told her that I thought it would be best if we didn’t see each other anymore. I explained to her why I was feeling like this, and she agreed with me, and apologized for how she was behaving. It took me a while to get the guts to accept her apology, because I didn’t think that I would ever talk to anyone who lied to me, but I forgave her even after all of that.

Jazmine and I talk occasionally, we’re still friends, but we definitely aren’t as close as we were in 1st grade! Since I forgave her for what she did to me, I feel ten times better than how I would of felt if I didn’t. I still sometimes think about how it would have been if I didn’t forgive her, and I think that I would have had a big guilt trip over my shoulder. Which is why I’m glad that I did.

Just remember, even though someone can be horrible to you, and lie to you. You can be the bigger person by say 3 simple words “I Forgive You” and by doing that, you feel better about yourself. Keeping score of old scores and scars, getting even and one-upping, always makes you less than you are.

“I can forgive, but I cannot forget” is another way of saying “I will not forgive.” Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note- torn into two and burned up so that it never can be shown against one another. - Paul Boese