no body knows. what goes on when the door closes. when im all alone. the darkness closes in and takes over. it controlls, fills, destroys everything. my soul screaming out for help. my body curled in on its self. i can make it stop? just for a few moments. blood? bright red. does it hurt? it feels so good after what ive been through. talk? open up? to who? she dosent know how it feels. cant worry him. the cause of this? he dosent care. couldnt get ahold of him if i wanted to. morning. wake up. smile? its so fake. they cant tell. cant see the river that flows behind the door. tears. blood. sweat. my mask is set. laugh? its so forced. how do you all not see through me? i scream for help every day. but only you could help me. no one hears my screams of pain. sleep? dont make me laugh. bed is now a release from my mask. cant sleep. cant breathe. pain every day. not alone? but they dont know. feels like im alone. feels like no one cares. im so tired. of the pain, the tears, the scars, the silent screams, so alone. can i shut my eyes? for ever? im so tired. its time to sleep. close your eyes. dream how you should. if im lucky i wont wake up.