A Modest Proposal | Teen Ink

A Modest Proposal

October 22, 2013
By Renteria22 BRONZE, Oak LAWN, Illinois
Renteria22 BRONZE, Oak LAWN, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

A Modest Proposal

For violence creating fear in the
Citizens of Chicago, Cops eating Donuts
at the local Dunkin Donuts abusing the rights we have
to eat Donuts at Dunkin Donuts


It is a melancholy night gangbangers roaming the streets with weapons, causing harm, hiding and dodging, selling illegal narcotics. Gangs with all these soldiers and their leaders cause mayhem in the streets, ruthless killers roaming the dark nights of Chicago, look for that next prey in mind a local gang rival to hunt like a lion hunting its prey in the wilderness, innocent people getting killed for local gang rivalry to outdo each other and get pay back.

Donuts at the crime scene and donuts as a reward to those that solve the case and lock those bangers up, the solution cops love donuts from Dunkin Donuts, Rewarding an Officer with a donut or donuts helps solve and lower violence and murders, according to a Local Study group in South Sudan. Donuts help police officers solving violence in their local neighborhood.

Firstly, cops love donuts, who doesn’t love donuts? Secondly, lines at Dunkin Donuts would be low because they could build a mini Dunkin Donuts at a police station. Thirdly, crime rates for violence and murders would be lower and solved because cops would be rewarded with donuts. Fourthly, officers would be satisfied because they would have donuts from Dunkin Donuts. Fifthly, more jobs created at Dunkin Donuts when building mini Dunkin Donuts at every police station. Sixthly, this would keep the officers from starving and stay longer on a case when eating donuts.

While the cops may gain weight and not be physically fit to run or catch up to a criminal, I offer that there will be a gym in every police station and every officer has to work out to keep the weight off and stay physically fit for running and pursuing a criminal, this proposal is only for the intent for the Chicago police department and later if proven true that donuts help officers on the job, this proposal my spread, but for now it will only be in Chicago.

This may prove to be a success and I may be thanked for this, now or in the near future, if not a success I offered help and tried to solve a problem by rewarding officers with donuts from Dunkin Donuts to satisfy their tummies and help them on the job. I may not be an officer because I couldn’t get into the police academy for eating too many donuts from Dunkin Donuts, overall satisfied with the delicious donuts.


The author's comments:
I came up with this idea when I watched the Simpsons and how Chief Wiggums loved his donuts and that’s what made me come up this idea. Plus who doesn’t love donuts? They’re so good. Plus in many shows, cops are eating donuts and people believe that police officers are in love with donuts.

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