Death by Turtlenecks
The number one worst crime a person could ever commit is the crime of the turtleneck. Turtleneck sweaters are without a doubt the most horrific fashion crime to ever hit the planet. There is no human in the history of mankind who has ever looked attractive in a turtleneck sweater. Turtlenecks should be immediately eliminated from all closets, stores, and dumpsters across the entire globe.
Women are the founders and institutors of some of the most iconic fashion trends of all time. Turtlenecks are like a foul-scar upon our spotless record. What an embarrassment. Turtlenecks hide all the most flattering parts of a women’s body, the shoulder, neck and arms. When wearing a turtleneck sweater women appear to get the visual effect of the “uniboob”. Yes, that is right the ever feared and dreaded uniboob. There is no women in the world who wants to look like they only have one mashed together nasty boob.

Not only do women look horrendous in turtle necks but men look even worse. According to the Huffington Post, turtlenecks are rated as the third thing men should never wear. A man who is wearing a turtleneck is basically hanging a sign around your neck that says you want to die alone. Can you say #singlepringle #foreveralone. As a man if you want to fall in love with a nice beautiful lady who can show you the real meaning of life, you better not wear a turtleneck, or expect to be dumped.


One of the main reasons, turtlenecks should be eliminated is because one of the reasons to wear a turtleneck is to cover hickies. By wearing a turtleneck you are supporting sketchy behavior. Turtlenecks promote a lifestyle to purposely lie and keep things a secret. Yes, you can tell all of those thing just by a turtleneck sweater.
Overall, turtlenecks are a blemish on the entire face of the sphere. They are unflattering. They are unfashionable. They are repulsive, not to mention they make me want to gag. To simply put it turtlenecks should never be worn ever again!