Society continues to ask where an individual's happiness and unhappiness derives from. Many can say it depends on the lifestyle you live and your living environment. However, true happiness comes from the internal factors within an individual. Many times individuals afflict the feeling of unhappiness onto themselves with their own personal outlook on their lives. All individuals are responsible of their happiness and with that “we have become unfamiliar with how to make ourselves happy. When we come back to the idea that we make ourselves happy it may seem foreign.” (Happiness In Relationships).


Happiness and Unhappiness first derive from the mind and are mostly triggered from the effects of external factors. Many individuals who face unhappy relationships or unhappy lifestyles are usually afflicting the pain of feeling unhappy onto themselves. These unconscious fears are the true factors of what determine the happiness within an individual. For example, made believe feelings of loneliness can be a significant fear that the mind can digest making an individual believe that they are unhappy. When truly they themselves have created this feeling of being alone from getting out of a difficult situation. “Then its time to get on with the real work, finding and changing false beliefs that we use as an excuse to not express our love.” (Are you Trapped and Unhappy in Your Relationship?) Therefore the mind creates this false belief of not “expressing their love” or in other words not being happy. The mind also affects happiness by “The feeling of suffocation or of having no choices stems from fear that’s often unconscious.” (Are you Trapped and Unhappy in Your Relationship?) This is often seemed as an outside factor however it is truly our mind alone making this choice from the fears that we stimulate. Therefore mostly are fears within our mind causes our belief of whether we our happy or not. Especially with relationships “Our mind associates this person leaving us with unhappiness, sadness, anger, and loneliness.” (Happiness In Relationships) Therefore this unhappiness is created deep within our mind creating our unhappiness.


In the novel Ethan Frome most of Ethan’s happiness and unhappiness is from his persona outtake of his life. These emotions Ethan feels are mostly created by himself. whether it seems the feelings he experiences are from external factors the feelings are actually what he has created. He mostly does this with the relationships he has with Mattie and Zeena. Unclear about their behavior he creates this feeling of unhappiness and happiness within himself. “Now he thought she understood him, and feared; now he was sure she did no, and despaired.” (Pg 42) Ethan over thinks and creates this feeling of despair within himself without even knowing whether or not Mattie understood him. This therefore changes his happiness. Ethan also changes his happiness by making himself happy. For example, in the plot Ethan is filled with joy at the thought of Zeena leaving. "The sweetness of the picture, and the relief of knowing that his fears of "trouble" with Zeena were "unfounded"." (pg 60) Therefore these feelings of "trouble" that he "unfounded" are actually what Ethan have came up within himself. If Ethan were to change his view on his relationship with Zeena and changed his perspective then perhaps he would be happy even when Zeena is there. Another example where Ethan determines his happiness is when spots the new found couple under the same spot he and mattie were the night before. Delighted in seeing their presence and his view of the relationship as sweet but not moments after “...he felt a pang of the thought that these two need not hide their happiness”. (pg 69) This is evidence that Ethan through his first perspective was happy about their relationship but after his subconsciousness made him feel as if he had to hide the love he has for Mattie. It is inevitable that the choices that Ethan makes are influenced by outside factors but however Ethan is truly the one who decides his happiness. That his happiness is determined within not on outside factors.




Lastly Despite surroundings individuals it is still evitable that individuals can remain happy or unhappy because it is up to them. Many individuals are stuck on how to remain happy but it is actually very simple. “The truth is you make yourself happy. You probably just don’t know anymore.” Therefore what most believe is uncontrollable is actually a choice. However in no way would it be easy to control it anymore, yet we do have the power. It is definitely possible however, “In the midst of life experience we lose track of how we become unhappy and who is responsible.” (Happiness In Relationships) Therefore, if individuals gained back the responsibility of who makes them truly happy then they would be able to control their own happiness. To further include, happiness has always been a factor that people have a choice whether or not you are stuck in bad circumstances. However individuals now are just stuck in the belief that their surroundings are what make them happy. It is simply because “we have become unfamiliar with how to make ourselves happy. When we come back to the idea that we make ourselves happy it may even seem foreign” (Happiness In Relationships) This is why the question of where our happiness derives from is always rising. However when it is clear that the opportunity of happiness is determined by the individual not their surroundings. Evidently, happiness is something derived personally and individual happiness is a personal choice that can be made.


Happiness and unhappiness are definitely two factors in ones’ life that are critical and always have brought up the question of…. Where does this happiness come from? Many people fail to realize that happiness is internal and not external. However their mind can cause them to make poor decision when choosing to be happy. Like Ethan From who doesn’t realize a lot of the time he forces unhappiness upon himself. He subconsciously forms this belief that he is unhappy in different situations when the unhappiness comes from within him. People have now caught up in too much of their lives to even realize who truly is responsible of their own happiness. They have forgotten that they can make the choice behind their happiness however they stumble at this conclusion once they realize this for themselves. Undoubtedly, happiness has always been a process that is so hard to figure out. However it is evident that it has always been an internal process not external.