It seems as if it’s been an eternity since my heart has felt truly happy. Sometimes I feel as if I have forgotten what happiness feels like. It feels as if what was once a beautiful, warm, sunny day had turned into a dark, cold, stormy night.

My heart used to be as red as snow white’s lips. Each beat creating a melody, that melody being my life. A melody that sounded so beautiful and delicate. A melody that made me feel like anyone around me that could hear it, their hearts would start having the same melody. Until, eventually all of our hearts would become one huge orchestra. An orchestra that the world could hear, and once they did they would become happier.

My heart used to be full of exuberance, and when anyone came around me their hearts would feel the same too. I could see their faces light up as if there was a golden glow that would appear, and they’d smile. They’d smile brighter than any sun I have ever seen. Their smiles were contagious to others and everyone somehow became a little bit happier. Yet, a little bit of happiness could go a long way for all of them. An ounce of happiness would make there day, and a little more would make their weekend.

Yet, somehow my heart became a little bit darker. Day by day, another drop of darkness would be added to my heart. It was as if a storm was creeping in slowly, but surely. No one knew why it was, not even me. The exuberance that once filled my heart slowly began to diminish. The golden glow it once had, has become darker and darker.

My heart now is like a storm. Unpredictable in so many ways. People no longer find comfort in it, yet somehow I do. The storm that has filled my heart with sorrow and darkness, has left me without a glow I once had. The golden glow that was so contagious, everyone had it once they were around me. My smile is no longer brighter than any sun I have ever seen. There isn’t a smile anymore. My heart thunders instead of creating a beautiful melody with each heartbeat.

It thunders as loudly as a hundred storms, with sorrow as strong as a hurricane. My heart has become the storm everyone fears. No longer having a warmth that everyone so desired, but only the frigid cold that everyone fears. The cold that breaks hearts instead of mending them.

My heart has turned into the darkness everyone fears. The unpredictable darkness. I fear my heart may never be as red as a rose again. That it may stay as dark as a storm forever. Yet, I find comfort in it. Comfort in the fact most people are too afraid to try and love my heart. The people that do try to love a heart filled with sorrow and darkness end up getting hurt. I find comfort in the fact my heart has grown too deep for people to see. Too deep for even myself to fully understand.

I find comfort in the darkness and depth of my heart, yet I crave it to be as red as snow white’s lips once again. Able to love without fear. The heart I once had that had a golden glow, that others could see too. The heart that created a beautiful melody with every heartbeat. The heart that had a smile brighter than any sun, anyone has known. The heart I crave to have once again.