The world seems to fade away in my thoughts. I look out from the car and see a green leaf fall to the ground. Usually I would think today was a great day, but not today. As we start to get closer I become more and more anxious. The car stops and I step out, feel the breeze in my hair and take a deep breath. When I walk up to the tent, suddenly I can't hold it in anymore. I get hit by a brick wall of emotion that I can't get through. I feel a tear stream down my face, before I know it someone comes up and gives me a hug. I take some deep breaths to calm myself down. On the outside I stand emotionless, but on the inside my mind is flooded with emotions and memories. Next thing I know I see a car park, a figure gets out and comes up to the tent. Before I know it I am sitting in a chair next to my mom. 

“We are gathered here in memory of..” I drown it out. I can't listen to what they are saying. I feel the breeze on my back. I look around, trying to find something to take my mind off what is going on, but I can't. The awkwardness starts to grow inside me, I try to make myself as small as possible. I turn to my side and I see my mom in tears. I put my arm around her and give her a squeeze. I feel her body relax a bit but she is still more tense than usual. My mind goes back to all the memories of easter dinner. Going to visit my great-grandmother, her teaching me to play chess. Before I know it my eyes are full of tears. All of these emotions are floating around in my head and overthrowing all my other thoughts. I zone out and the next thing I know I hear “Amazing Graze” being sung. 

“Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. That saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I am found” sings one of my family members. All of sudden I have a realization that my great-grandma is actually gone. That I won't ever be able to see her again. The feeling of knowing that pains me. Emotion, it hits me like a punch to the face, I try to hold it in but a tear rolls down my cheek. I feel that tear fall down onto my hand. Suddenly I remember that I might not be able to see her but she is still in my heart and watching over me. “ I should have spent more time cherishing more moments with her and I took every moment for granted.'' i think to myself. 

Suddenly we all stand up and walk over to the box. My mom gives me a letter that I made, I walk over to the box and place my letter beside it. Regret, I should have worked harder on this card and spent more than ten minutes on it. I zone out for some time, and the next thing I know is that I am walking towards the car. I get in the car and let all the discomfort drain out of my body. Leather, I rub my hand against the leather of the seat and it brings me back to reality and out of my thoughts. We turn into a parking lot, I step out of the car and the aroma of food fills my nose. My body fills with more hunger every step I take towards the restaurant. I sit down, order my food, and when it comes I feel my hunger drain out of me. I stare at my food half expecting it to stare back. Then I think ,”Laney, you are crazy. Food is not going to stare back at you.” Even though I am not hungry, I pick up the fork. The ice cold fork touches my hand and sends a chill down my spine. I start eating the food and the next thing I know it's gone. When we are all done eating we say our goodbyes and walk back to our car. I sit down and let the music put my mind at ease.

The sight of familiar streets catches me off guard. I thought it took longer to get there. We pull into the driveway, I step out and walk/run to my room and throw myself onto my bed. Out of the corner of my eye I see a tan colored bear. I walk over to where it lies. I pick it up and give it a squeeze. Suddenly I remember when I got this bear. The hospital… I got it from the hospital and my grandma picked it out for me. It has 2 black beads for eyes, white lace for clothing. The bear reminds me of my great-grandma but not in a sad way, but in a way that she is still in my heart and to cherish every moment you have with someone.