Imagine a world not inhibited by the fear of failure. A world where one mistake doesn’t determine the rest of your life, where failure is not seen as a sign of weakness, of incompetence. Imagine, because that’s all one can do. The reality is that failure is not truly accepted in society, at least not in the way we would like to believe. While one may talk about the importance of failure and encourage others to embrace their mistakes, the truth is that a perfectionist model still remains underlying, valuing accomplishments and success above all else.

The idea that failure is accepted stems from the “growth mindset” concept, which has become more prevalent over recent years. This idea suggests that individuals can harness the power of failure to lead to eventual success and use such an opportunity for growth. However, this is not something that is easily attainable in a society that has been taught, since a young age, that success is highly valued and failure is unacceptable. This message has been emphasised throughout our entire lives, from the expectations of our parents, peers or teachers, to the demands of the school or workplace; this inherent principle of success means that there is no room to embrace failure, especially when it is considered a flaw and warrants criticism. According to a New Zealand research conducted by New Zealand’s Union of Student’s Association, about 56% of tertiary students of the respondents had considered dropping out of school, with one of the primary reasons being due to a fear of failure. Educational systems have conventionally prioritised high grades with the use of standardised testing, hence not leaving much room for genuine learning through trial and error. This ultimately causes an increased emphasis on results and outcomes instead of the learning process. The influence of media also has a pivotal role in the perpetuating of the negative connotation behind failure, often showcasing remarkable success stories, and rarely shedding light on the challenges or failures that individuals have endured on their journey. This curated representation sets unfeasible expectations, making failure seem like an anomaly rather than an inevitable and natural part of personal growth. As a result, this reinforces an individual's fear of failure, striving to only showcase their successes, and hence creating a facade to mask one’s failures. So, how can one truly believe the aphorisms of “nobody is perfect”, “failure is a stepping stone”, or “strive for progress, not for perfection” when in a realistic sense one simply cannot afford to incur in any failures. By revealing our imperfections, we are failing to fit in a perfectionist model shaped by society and ultimately opening doors for shame, judgement, and humiliation from others.

While a perfectionist model refers to an approach where individual’s place a strong emphasis on achieving perfection and setting high standards for themselves, this means that society becomes less accepting of any flaws as the focus is on avoiding mistakes, and constantly pursuing excellence at all costs. However, this means that a mistake made will go against this model and is capable of the collective forgetting of a string of successes. But, what if I told you that humans were wired to overlook past triumphs? Negativity bias is a cognitive bias deeply rooted in human nature, having the ability to shape our judgement and decision making processes. Similar to how the negative connotation of failure has been embedded into our society, there will always be expectations set, raising the bar and minimising the error margin. As such, when a mistake occurs, it stands out more prominently and casts a shadow over preceding successes. This can be seen in areas of life like the field of sports, where athletes often face scrutiny, where one mistake can overshadow their whole career of accomplishments. Think of a professional football player who has continuously excelled all season and all of their career, scoring plenty of goals and driving their team to victory in a number of games. But in a pivotal final game, the player commits a significant mistake that prevents their team from winning. Despite their earlier triumphs, the error becomes the focus, causing supporters and critics to overlook all of the successes and contributions the athlete had throughout the course of their career. This demonstrates how one can have a hundred successes but one slight error and all preceding successes are forgotten, forcing one to start from the beginning and showcasing the equation 100-1=0.

While anyone can be affected by the consequences of failure, there are certain societal factors that can contribute to women experiencing greater impacts. These factors include gender roles, stereotypes, or societal expectations which can shape women's experiences with failure. When encountering a failure, women may be subjected to more criticism since they may be compared to gender norms and expectations. This may cause them to develop the internalised notion that their competence as women are diminished by failure. Women tend to feel pressure from society to live up to strict standards in various domains of life, such as work, relationships, and family. When these expectations aren’t met, shame or a sense of inadequacy might set in, leading to the fear of failure to be more prevalent among females. Nonetheless, the lack of representation in male-dominated fields or leadership positions can heighten the impact of failure, and can often be seen in society where the failure of women affects the outlook and expectations of others more than men. During the 2016 presidential election in the United States of America, Hillary Clinton represented the conflicts that develop between being a woman and being a leader. In fact, a series of research by social psychologists discovered Clinton’s defeat had a detrimental influence on people's expectations about the chance of women promotion in corporate leadership. This creates a narrative that generalises the loss of Clinton as representative of all women in similar roles, thereby perpetuating the belief that women are prone to failure or incompetence. As a 10 year old running for my schools 2017 House Captain in 2016 amongst all male candidates, seeing female representation was super encouraging while imagining that I, in the slightest, could be of similar success; however, while watching the anticipating election, it was discouraging to see that all my male classmates to be so excited of Donald Trump’s victory, not because they believed in his values, but because it was a male candidate. Seeing this, I couldn’t avoid making a correlation between Clinton’s loss and my loss as being due to gender. However, through my own experiences and societal pressures faced by women, I believe it becomes evident that embracing failure is a way to empower individuals to grow beyond social norms. In embracing failure as an opportunity for growth, a way for individuals, regardless of gender, can be paved to transcend the constraints of societal expectations.

Needless to say, anyone can be victims of the paradox of failure and its contradictory nature. Failure can be disheartening, demotivating, and rather confusing living in a society that preaches the embracing of failure, when one cannot avoid such emotions as society still does not truly embrace failure. Often I find myself caught between the desire to advocate for the embracing of failure and the relentless pressure to academically exceed. As a student, I understand the concept of learning from mistakes, but there always were and still are moments where I feel the weight of expectations bearing down on me, because failure has never been a concept worthy of desire. Despite me only being a student, I doubt the possibility of society ever wholly overcoming the negative connotations of failure. However, I believe it is possible to break down the systematic model that is striking fear in individuals, if we foster a world where the importance of failure is acknowledged; a world where the emphasis is on learning, and a world where 100-1 does not equate to 0.