There is no doubt that High School is a challenging experience. It can be the happiest time of one’s life, the most frightening, or sometimes even both. There seems to be an unwanted surplus of stress and an ever evasive supply of satisfaction. For many, myself included, the hardest part of High School is dealing with a trouble known to many as self confidence.
Self confidence can be an asset that is hard to come by. Satisfaction is one of the most confusing feelings in the teenage psyche. The fear that I am not living up to my own expectations is worse than my fear of school lunch. A part of me always judges myself too strictly; another part is nowhere near strict enough. I’m either doing perfect, or I’m a miserable failure, there’s no in between.
My teachers are usually quite impressed with my work, but I never really feel accomplished. I suppose my parents’ high standards might keep me from ever really feeling good about my triumphs. It’s hard to feel accomplished when your brother overshadows everything you do with that “Best in State” track victory. Or his 26 season touchdowns. An A on an English final doesn’t really hold that kind of ground.
In addition to being constantly overlooked, being shunned for seemingly every single thing you do is a catalyst to a teens self loathing. It is impossible to feel good about success when the only thing you are accredited to is failure. The distilled rage felt after having a success ignored can only be amplified by having a flaw thrown back at you. The feeling can make you grit your teeth, pull out your hair and scream into your pillow, because all you long for is the notice of your peers and family, who so conveniently ignore you.
Self confidence, or moreover the lack thereof, is the result of one feeling accomplished, but being unrecognized. Success isn’t success when it tastes like failure. The only way to know you are a winner is to tell yourself so, and not rely on anyone else. Look at how far you have come, and others will eventually see it.