Ourselves. Yep, that seems to be a general theme in a teenager’s life. There’s always something wrong with us, so we compliment other people to make us feel even worse, and when we receive a compliment, we turn it down and make something else up that we wish wasn’t true about ourselves—even though what we say isn’t true. Even though it may be the complete opposite of what we say.

So what is it? Crazy hair? Pimples? Big thighs? Big butt? Big nose? If we could just step back and clear our mind, maybe the next time we look at the mirror it won’t seem so bad. Whatever it is that bugs you, learn to embrace and love it. Yes, even the pimple. You can’t change who you are, so rather than punishing yourself, try giving yourself a smile. Turn around, look at those thighs, jump around, feel good! When was the last time you went out without feeling self-conscious? After another bad day of droning on about how you look, lock yourself in your room, crank up the music, and watch yourself dance! The happier you are, the brighter you feel.

While it’s natural to feel bad about yourself, fight back. Fight nature, be different. Also, don’t be intimidated by people who do know themselves—it’s a god thing to hang out with them, because you forget about your appearance. A lot of the time, people look at themselves when they aren’t happy. People who aren’t happy don’t look happy, and that often creates a negative semblance and might even make your appearance seem darker. If you hang out with the right people, have some fun, and take your mind off homework once in a while, you’ll feel the change.

As convincing as it seems, the “popular” people in school who appear to be flawless are just as insecure as you might be. The kinds of people others really admire are people who know themselves and love themselves, even if they’re completely different.

So don’t hate yourself. Look in the mirror, nod, and give your body a thumbs up, because in the end, it’s not about how you look. It’s who you are. And who you are isn’t how you look.