The Times and Trials of YAF | Teen Ink

The Times and Trials of YAF

October 11, 2013
By The_Capricornian GOLD, Marietta, Georgia
The_Capricornian GOLD, Marietta, Georgia
12 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed. - Ernest Hemingway


Dear Diary, no, Dear EVERYBODY,

I really need help! I don’t know how to say this less crazy, but I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR YOUNG AUTHORS FAIR!!! Anything like advice would help, but I need it ASAP! So, probably meet me at Panda Express if you could, whoever is reading this. I’m so desperate; I would wear a Panda Suit to get your attention. But I am keeping this in my Diary (I hate calling it that but that is what it is) to write, and eat pancakes, and, what am I talking about? OH WHAT THE HECK! I have to dash to class from News Crew (we have a News Crew at our school). I HATE being late all the time because I don’t know what we are supposed to do sometimes when I get back. Anyways, I’m going to jot down ideas of what I should do for YAF (Young Authors Fair) later in the day or tomorrow morning once I think of some. So… Laurel, OUT! (I’m Laurel and my hand HURTS ALLREADY!!!)

I am back from Physical Education and now I am walking to my MILE class with Ms. Dodd who is AWESOMELY AWESOME! Sorry, I just needed to express that. I got some crazy and stupid ideas in my Math Journal that I guess I’ll show below. BUT, they are sort of casual/ boring things I thought of right away in Math, so it’s okay if you take a fifteen-thirty second snooze. HEY! Let’s see if you can read it without having a strange confused look on your face while I say them! Good luck, amigo. You’ll need it through this bunch of stuff.

Paper, lines, markers, ink, erasers, rubber, circles, random stuff, thingies, and mysteries. So, what ‘cha think? Huh? Huh? Okay, maybe I’ll write more reasonable YAF topic ideas later. One last thing though, NEVER GIVE YOUR BABY CHILD A DIARY!!! My ‘detailed’ description is below.

Furthermore, I love cookies and pancakes… whoops! I’m writing in the wrong journal! With a PEN! NOOOOO- Ok. I’m done yelling in my Diary/ Journal. Oh, and I like chicken, bourbon chicken, and teriyaki chicken. I don’t know why I am getting off topic; I just like fried rice with soy sauce. Wait, what was I originally talking about? Ah, yes, baby children with fairy tale, princess, pretty pony, rainbow unicorn diaries. They will think it is a delectable cookie and eat it like a crazy person who says they aren’t hyper enough. (You don’t understand baby talk though, or do you?) But they just won’t understand anything about,

“No eating the paper, Bobby. It’s like eating thin slices of hard trees!”


MAYBE I should get back on my problem, and this time, I got some reasonable ideas, not any ones that are TOO crazy. It hasn’t snowed so far in 2012, so maybe I could write a story about a town where it never rains and there is no water ANYWHERE except in human bodies and animals. Oh, and don’t forget air! BUT, it snows twenty-four-seven once every other half a year! Maybe I can also get ideas from what the day has been like. Oh, and I’m HOME! (I finished MILE class and got out of school half an hour ago.) Uh, oh, this is now a fat paragraph… My teachers told me that I can’t have too many fat paragraphs, so I’m eating dinner then coming right back. My hand needs a rest. AGAIN!

First of all, I thought of so many things in Science Class. Let me get out my Science Fair Evidence Notebook… OK! Try not to fall asleep! So there’s sneezing, passing gas, burping/ indigestion/ chronic burping, TIME, UH, uh, uh… 4 leaf clovers, bird poop, crazy stuff, WHOOPIE COUSHINS, jackets, tissues, purple, and Scare Crows. Good, huh? My favorite idea for YAF from this section is TIME. I may go with that, but I am still not so sure.

Well, after that, I went to lunch and recess, my class where we are doing YAF, then Specials. Oh, and at dismissal, my homeroom teacher saw me writing in my ‘library book’ (AKA this.) Whoopsie daisy. Maybe I should stop writing so much. But maybe I can’t… oh well.

I GOT MY FINAL IDEAS! I will put them in groups so I will put the ideas I thought of at lunch in one category and the ones I thought of in ELA, Reading, Spelling, and Social Studies class in another. I might as well start tomorrow morning when my energy is at maximum. In conclusion, I’m seriously tired. Good night friends. . . . CLIFF HANGER! Ha ha! Just kidding, it’s not really a cliff hanger. I just said that to lighten the mood for myself, oh well! Didn’t really work…

Good morning! I’m awake in my wonderful, beautiful, amazing… basement?! Oh, yeah, I was working down here before bed last night. But I got my ideas! Here we go! But wait! This is my 3rd batch of ideas for YAF ideas, so once again, try not to take a nap because I think you won’t. Lunch ideas that I thought of at lunch yesterday; napkins, paper towels, Revenge of the Doughnut Ghost, waffles, bananas, Mutant Carrotz, popcorn, chicken, popcorn chicken, eggs, ICE CREAM, The Something Slime, and best for last, WHY is my mother obsessed with chocolate like ME?! Or, why am I obsessed with chocolate and so is my mother?! (I learned the answer in Science Class!) How do you like my topics for YAF now, eh? My favorite from this category is; Why am I obsessed with chocolate and so is my mother?!

Okay, now I got my Grammar and Spelling Notebook out of my backpack, here are my YAF final ideas. Ready? Okay then! Cats VS Dogs, Pandas; The History, Evil Scientist Doctors, The Spy of the Future, The mysteries of SLEEP, The Mysteries of the Suit Case Brothers; London Attack, MOVIES; How They Got Here, and The Zombie Eagle Attack of 3441. Now I have to head to school, so see you there. I’m taking a science test though, so I won’t be able to write that much.

What’s up? I’m here in the hallway outside of science class. Oh, bad news, we had a horrifying sneak attack today. It crept up behind us then… BANG!

“WHAT?! YOUNG AUTHORS FAIR IS DUE TOMORROW?! THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE!” I wanted to yell, but I didn’t. I was seriously FREAKING OUT, and I still am. I’m most likely just going to write about a person that has children and they live on a MOUNTAIN! No, no, Mt. Everest! Yeah… Well, wish me good luck on my science test!

I’m back from my science test! I don’t think I did so well, but that’s the normal routine. But now that I think of it, I miss my old YAF story that I did in 2nd grade. I haven’t seen it in YEARS! I have mine from 3rd and 4th grade, but I lost my 2nd grade one, like I said before. They were about a book that was afraid of kids. My stories got better and better. This year I was going to The Book That was Afraid of Kids in Medieval Ages or in the FUTURE. But instead of that I knew it had to change. It was not a good feeling, but I thought I was doing the right thing. Now look at me. Not going so well… I guess I’ll write again tonight once I choose my final ideas to be my YAF topic.

Good afternoon, fellow acquaintances. I have chosen my final YAF choices. They weren’t on my other lists because I thought of them when I got home. My first one most people will react by saying;

“What the heck is that?!” Which most of you will. It is… ‘The Happy Mask Salesman from the Legend of Zelda, Majora’s Mask. Yep, I love The Legend of Zelda. I love it so much that I could name all of the games. Well, almost all of them. He he. *Smiles like a nerd and doesn’t know why she is writing this.*

My second YAF topic idea is; Ninja… PENGUIN… COOKIES! They’re Ninja Penguins that are cookies! By morning I’ll choose which one and type a super short 2 page story. Wish me good luck. Well, I guess I’ll see you then, so see you later, pancake. (I call my older brother pancake because he calls me pancake. I’m just imagining he is reading this right now.)

Good Morning, fellow students, my name is Laurel Thornton. And I’m Ninja, Penguin, pause for dramatic effect, COOKIES! Yes, yes, I chose Ninja Penguin Cookies. I have an hour-and-a-half to type my YAF before I’m doomed. I think that it should have a lot of suspense, humor, and… and… Well, this isn’t a very good idea. Last night when I was thinking, I only found one con and the rest pros for Ninja Penguin Cookies. But now…

Con. CON. CON. Yep. I really need to choose another topic for my YAF before my time expires. I lost ALL of my pros. Now I only have ONE hope. THIS. I will enter this for my Young. Authors. Fair. Period. I’ll type this down as fast as possible. No need for me to have my parents drive me to Panda Express now. Even if I don’t win best one in the class (Which I have since 2nd grade), I’ll still be happy. Okay, maybe a little sad… Thanks, even though you didn’t do much. I’ll most likely let someone take my #1 in class place.

; ) ~ Laurel


The author's comments:
My sister is loony. That's all I have to say about you just read. Kidding aside, this is actually how she thinks sometimes... And she really didn't know what to do for YAF, so she ended up writing this satire which, as she honestly guessed, didn't win an award :-L There's always next year Laurel... (And if you're wondering, the only time I won the YAF was in 5th grade. Irony and life were made for each other, weren't they?) Oh, and if you're wondering why this is on my account instead of one made for her, it's because she never keeps track of any of the online accounts she makes. So I'm posting it here to for her peace of mind.

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