The God in My Father | Teen Ink

The God in My Father MAG

By Anonymous

   There is always a silence between my dad and me. Sometimes it is difficult to speak tohim. He likes to read books, I like to watch TV. He wants me to concentrate onstudying, I believe friends come first. Many times I go to my friends for advice,and share my secrets with them. Sometimes I feel my friends are the ones who keepme alive, and my dad never understands that. But most of all, he believes inChristianity, and I think religion is the root of evil.

We've had many hotdebates over this that usually result in silence between us for days. I often saythings that offend my dad and result in him sending me to my room. Sometimes Ifeel he loves God more than me, but then the sadness turns into anger, and Ifocus on hating God because of how much he means to my dad.

My dad alwayshas an aura of humbleness. He treats people with respect even though they mayhave deceived him. He believes there is goodness in everyone. Often he tells methat "Man is good in nature; to trust others is the first step to becoming achild of God." But I, a teenager who has seen the violence and meanintentions in my friends, have lost my faith in humankind.

Many times Ihave almost despised him for his naiveté. I felt far wiser, and thussometimes was ashamed to be his daughter. Or maybe I was jealous of his abilityto bypass the curtains of self-interest and to be able to live in such a peacefulmind. But, for whatever reason, my sarcastic comments about my dad's religioncontinued. God was my dad's unhealed wound I could poke at whenever I was mad athim.

But one day I began to understand him. It was a day when I hadfriends over for a sleepover. My dad called me upstairs. I walked up unwillingly,thinking about the fun I was having with my friends. Then he told me that mygrandfather had died. I was frozen in shock. My grandfather was in perfect healthand just two months before had told me he was coming to visit from China. Thethought of never seeing him again was unbearable.

Then I looked at mydad. His eyes were filled with agony and guilt. He had spent most of his life inthe United States during my grandfather's old age. In China it is customary forthe son to care for his parents but my dad had broken that custom.

Iwalked to my dad to attempt to comfort him and hugged him for a very long time.Then I heard the voices of my friends. They said the best part of the movie wascoming, but everything happening downstairs now seemed irrelevant. My dad turnedto me and said, "Go, they need you down there." I shook my head andsaid I wanted to sit beside him. He told me he wanted to be alone and that hewould be fine. I left him and went to seek peace and comfort from myfriends.

Before I went to sleep I knocked on my dad's door and saw that hewas praying. Suddenly I understood God in his mind. God gives him guidance and aplace to seek advice. He is almost like a friend who will never deceive him; mydad had found peace and comfort from God. That night I prayed with him, andprayed for my grandfather.

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i love this so much!